Stupid hurts.

Published

OK all y’all, time to lighten it up. Disclaimer: this is kinda an ED thing but all disciplines are more than welcome to join.

Title says it all. I’ll start.

Alcohol + jammed lawnmower = date with orthopedic surgeon. Yeah, stupid hurts.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

ONE MORE: Please gentlemen, know a bit about female anatomy: if you want to conceive a child, remember the way to succeed is NOT to put "it" in her urethra for 20 years. No child and horrible incontinence will ensue.

And ladies: doesn't this hurt????

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Using your dialysis catheter for other illegal things will kill you

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

....and, we're supposed to be an evolved species......

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
5 hours ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

ONE MORE: Please gentlemen, know a bit about female anatomy: if you want to conceive a child, remember the way to succeed is NOT to put "it" in her urethra for 20 years. No child and horrible incontinence will ensue.

And ladies: doesn't this hurt????

What the what? How is that even possible? And heck yes that would hurt like hell.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
33 minutes ago, nrsang97 said:

What the what? How is that even possible? And heck yes that would hurt like hell.

I can't fathom. But we did have a lttle old lady in the GYN office who had continual incontinence of urine. The GYN dr was shocked and had a heckuva time explaining why she was childless and that her incontinence was pretty much not fixable.

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Specializes in Adult M/S.

Do not take a nap while caressing your hand gun. It may go off resulting in a gun shot wound to your groin, just like it did last year when you also had to visit the ED.

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On 5/2/2019 at 3:54 PM, NewMexNurse said:

Don't ever run from the police dog. They are faster than you are

We don't know that. We never see the success stories.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 5/2/2019 at 3:30 PM, SmilingBluEyes said:

Please DO remember when you have a tampon in

...and don't allow your date to notice the string during an intimate moment, pull out the tampon, smell the old blood, and puke on you.

Because then you will smell the puke and old blood and puke on him!

This will result in...

AN OLD FASHIONED TAMPON-PULLING PUKE-O-RAMA!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Oh no!

The Double Post Ghost strikes again!

Mr. Delete Button will take care of you, you cad!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

(..........my first call as a FF/EMT.....in a raging blizzard.......)

IF you plan to handcuff your wife to the bed.......throw on your mask and Superman cape....... and jump off your bureau, onto the bed..........in an attempt to......get a little "jiggy with it"........ on a Friday night, in a raging Nor'Easter.........

#1- PLEASE SHOVEL THE EGRESS PRIOR TO THE FESTIVITIES

#2- Practice with a helmet first ???

#3- Get yourselves a Life Alert

.....end result...concussion with complete recovery...... ?

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

When your mama used to tell you to not run with scissors because you could poke your eyeball out she meant it!!

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.

Fishing hooks are for fishing, not to employ as a sex toy. (Man int his case)

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