Stupid hurts.

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OK all y’all, time to lighten it up. Disclaimer: this is kinda an ED thing but all disciplines are more than welcome to join.

Title says it all. I’ll start.

Alcohol + jammed lawnmower = date with orthopedic surgeon. Yeah, stupid hurts.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
2 hours ago, Stellababy said:

Family giving their mother who has a peg tube and has been npo for years a piece of birthday cake to eat

That's a good one. Or the mother who let her intubated son suck Snapple off a toothette (spongey mouth swab). The new grad who taught her to do that told her it was OK didn't set any limits. At change of shift, while the newbie was giving me report, the mother came out of the room to ask for another bottle of Snapple because 'he drank all the first one'. It was one of those instances where my gut immediately flashed me a warning and I was out of the chair and at the bedside in two seconds at the most. It was already too late. The kid had vomited, then aspirated, desaturated and coded. Very sad outcome.

I tried my best to teach the new grad the error she'd made, but she didn't get it. Didn't think she had done anything wrong. INSISTED she hadn't done anything wrong -- after she told me in great detail how she'd given the mom a handful of toothettes and the Snapple, telling her she'd get him another when she needed it, and instructed her in "wetting his mouth for comfort." I was proud of myself for not screaming at her. She, as much as the mother, caused that kid's demise. She's a CRNA now. The consensus is she still doesn't get it.

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Specializes in Critical care.

Hey doc my chest hurts whenever I smoke meth.

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Specializes in Psych, HIV/AIDS.

At least the flashlight was turned on, when the resident doing the rectal exam, attempted to remove it.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
On 4/25/2019 at 12:57 PM, NICU Guy said:

Bride and groom receive a set of jade napkin rings as a wedding gift. The bride decides it would be funny to place the napkin rings on her husband's member while he was sleeping. She didn't expect him to get a hard-on. After all attempts failed to remove them, they rushed to the ER. It required maintenance to break the jade rings with a hammer and anvil.

Sounds like that is a wedding night they'll never forget. LOL I wonder if he wanted an annulment after that.

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
On 4/25/2019 at 10:57 AM, NICU Guy said:

Bride and groom receive a set of jade napkin rings as a wedding gift. The bride decides it would be funny to place the napkin rings on her husband's member while he was sleeping. She didn't expect him to get a hard-on. After all attempts failed to remove them, they rushed to the ER. It required maintenance to break the jade rings with a hammer and anvil.

Wonder whose job it was to write the thank-you note for that gift?

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
On 4/25/2019 at 6:30 PM, VivaLasViejas said:

Screwdriver + rectum = bowel perforation. And you say you don't know how it got in there.

Was walking around the house naked, then slipped and fell on it. Duh!

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Just because you can shove a blowtorch up your rectum, doesn't mean you should

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Specializes in Medical Hematology/Oncology/Stem Cell Transplant.

Was a camp nurse one year. A camper was playing with his pocket knife and stabbed himself in the knee, freaked out, accidentally stabbed deeper into the artery, freaked out again, and had a nosebleed.

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Before doing acid in an unfamiliar place, take a moment to familiarize yourself with your surroundings in order to avoid walking through a plate glass window.

-or-

Don't do acid.

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On 4/25/2019 at 8:30 PM, VivaLasViejas said:

Screwdriver + rectum = bowel perforation. And you say you don't know how it got in there. 

Sat on it by accident.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
9 minutes ago, dbabz said:

Sat on it by accident.

While enjoying the evening in the nude, with friends.

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Just now, Ruby Vee said:

While enjoying the evening in the nude, with friends.

And poppers and lube.

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