Stupid hurts.

ThatChickOmi, ADN, RN · Apr 26, 2019

On 4/25/2019 at 2:44 PM, jess11RN said:
A former coworker that had worked in OB/gyne told me a story once. Leave the banana peel on...

lmao

sevensonnets · Apr 26, 2019

Do not fake a suicide attempt by swallowing a broken light bulb followed by a ballpoint pen and the fork off your dinner tray and then call the psych unit to request a transfer.

ashagreyjoy · Apr 26, 2019

Shoot heroin, nod out, while wearing a polyester jacket vs. campfire = 3rd degree

Burgler vs. drug dealers bored pit bull = hamburger leg

Fugitive hopping fences vs. cops are tired of chasing you and they boost the Belgian Malinois over every fence = hamburger arm

brownbook · Apr 27, 2019

I posted this many years ago. A friend who is a PACU nurse was weed whacking at home. He couldn't find his ear plugs. He saw his wive's ear plugged shaped tampons so used them.

Well....tampons are made to swell up....he had to go to the ER to get them removed.

Hoosier_RN, MSN · Apr 27, 2019

It's only cool to surf on a car in the movies

Emergent, RN · Apr 27, 2019

Vibrators migrate inwards when placed where the sun don't shine. They keep vibrating until the batteries wear out.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 27, 2019

3 hours ago, ashagreyjoy said:
Shoot heroin, nod out, while wearing a polyester jacket vs. campfire = 3rd degree
Burgler vs. drug dealers bored pit bull = hamburger leg
Fugitive hopping fences vs. cops are tired of chasing you and they boost the Belgian Malinois over every fence = hamburger arm

Reminds me of the time my first husband, whose IQ was in the stratosphere but was sadly lacking in common sense, was wearing his polyester jacket to start the charcoal. (Back when everyone used charcoal.). The fire had started, but it wasn't as BIG as he wanted. So he picked up a can of lighter fluid and, against my horrified protests, squirted it into the flames.

The fire followed the lighter fluid right up to his arm and ignited the polyester jacket, which ignited his long, curly hair. He just stood there holding the can of lighter fluid and staring at his arm, never noticing that his hair was on fire. At which point, I tackled him, shoving him into the river we were camping beside. Mr. Genius never learned to swim, so he was thrashing about in three feet of water and screaming that he was drowning, and I had to jump in after him to drag him out of the river. One side of his hair was burned nearly off, and his jacket was ruined but he was miraculously unharmed. Except for his dignity. And his hair, which finally got neatly cut.

For the rest of our marriage (not that long, actually), he complained about how I had ruined his brand new baseball jacket by shoving him into the water. Never a word about how I shoved him into the water because he was ON FIRE!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 27, 2019

4 minutes ago, Emergent said:
Vibrators migrate inwards when placed where the sun don't shine. They keep vibrating until the batteries wear out.

And a watch that is swallowed continues to alarm until the battery wears out. That drove my golden retriever nuts for a day or so before he yakked it back up.

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Apr 27, 2019

18 minutes ago, Ruby Vee said:
And a watch that is swallowed continues to alarm until the battery wears out. That drove my golden retriever nuts for a day or so before he yakked it back up.

Just another example of how pets are sometimes wiser than humans-they know when something doesn’t feel right and know exactly how to fix it without ever seeking professional help.

Kallie3006, ADN · Apr 27, 2019

Alcohol+butt plug+ overly excited boyfriend= OR booking the next day & wonderful DC instructions from the surgeon

DowntheRiver · Apr 27, 2019

Sometimes stupid pays off -

Patient swallowed a bunch of drugs when pulled over, OD'ed and taken to hospital where a CT scan was performed of chest which revealed cancer.

Takethatfordata · Apr 27, 2019

Family giving their mother who has a peg tube and has been npo for years a piece of birthday cake to eat