I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
He will not serve the 6 months, only three. Also, it will be in a segregated unit to protect him from harm. He will never meet BUBBA, and he will probably do it again...registered sex offender or not.
yes, because he has been acculturated to believe it is ok
You don't have to believe the sexes are identical to believe they are equal. I'm not sure what door opening has to do with rape.
Since we're doing more analogies.....
I'm not saying that individual behavior modification is useless, I'm saying it's woefully inadequate to deal with rape on a large scale.[/quote
how about... you have a river that regularly floods (bad behaviour) do you put up one more sand bag (individual modification) OR do you change the water course (educate to prevent rape)?
Yes, there would be, and that seems to be particularly true with regard to rape. And the puzzling thing is, many of the people blaming you would be other women. It defies explanation imo.
actually, it is very easy to explain. "if i can control the situation, ie, dress plainer, don't go where she went, etc" I won't get raped.... illogical, but common.
how about... you have a river that regularly floods (bad behaviour) do you put up one more sand bag (individual modification) OR do you change the water course (educate to prevent rape)?
It sounds like you're saying it's natural to rape.
how about... you have a river that regularly floods (bad behaviour) do you put up one more sand bag (individual modification) OR do you change the water course (educate to prevent rape)?
That's not even close to the situation though, it assumes that rape is inevitable. A better example is that you have damn. At this damn, no one cares about the people living down river, and occasionally they open the flood gates, just because they want to.
Asking the people down river to move just because the damn controllers are selfish a**hats is like asking people to dress modestly so they don't attract the rapists.
Thats not what I am saying. I am saying don't act like superwoman in one breath and a damsel in distress in the next. The type of woman who competes with men on every level and insists on being treated the same and then wants a man to open doors and lift boxes. It is hypocrisy.
A woman wanting to be treated equally and fairly shouldn't ask for help lifting boxes when she needs help? Are we supposed to pretend that we are physically the same in order to compete fairly in the marketplace? Never allow a man to open a door for us because it suggests we are actually princesses wanting to have our cake and eat it too? What if we also hold doors for people following us into a building as a courtesy-is that insulting to the person to whom we are extending that courtesy?
And what the heck does this have to do with RAPE? You can bet your sweet bippy I'd be in "distress" if I were violated by a sociopathic predator. YES, I'm allowed to ask for respect and fairness in the business world, AND expect the same in the personal realm as well.
How do male rape victims fit into this weird train of thought you've got going on?
That's not even close to the situation though, it assumes that rape is inevitable. A better example is that you have damn. At this damn, no one cares about the people living down river, and occasionally they open the flood gates, just because they want to.
Asking the people down river to move just because the damn controllers are selfish a**hats is like asking people to dress modestly so they don't attract the rapists.
Not a bad analogy, but I think you mean a "dam."
The whole "dress modestly" mantra just defies belief, doesn't it? These people must put their fingers in their ears every time there is a report of a rape and the victim is a nun, an elderly person, a child, or a member of a society where alcohol consumption is nonexistent and the victims are covered from head to toe. CLEARLY this "dress modestly" advice isn't worth a "damn" and reveals that rape is not about sexual attraction.
Yes, there would be, and that seems to be particularly true with regard to rape. And the puzzling thing is, many of the people blaming you would be other women. It defies explanation imo.
I think it's actually a pretty normal fear reaction. If they admit others didn't deserve it, they admit it can happen to them. Blaming the victim allows a false safety of "I wouldn't be do something that puts myself at risk." I see similar with being a DV survivor and women going "I'd never let someone hit me"
Gosh, women are fussy, wanting doors opened for them but not wanting to be beaten and raped. (????????)
Not at all what she said. Re-read, try to stop being angry and actually try to comprehend what the writer wrote.
The way many older nurses grew up is, I see from comments here by the younger crowd generally, much different.
For the past couple of generations and for today's young women, they have been and are told they can do and be whatever they want, behave as strong, independent, self-reliant people. That's good in general.
But if it includes the behaviors Conqueror mentions, it can have disastrous consequences. And she is a survivor of sexual assault/rape, so her call for being wise carries real weight.
"The way to prevent rape is to teach people not to rape." What immoral planet are you living on? This comment is sicker that the "people" that troll Yahoo and make moronic comments.
This is completely puzzling to me. What is immoral, moronic, or sick about teaching people not to rape?????
The part that makes me angry is that the mother and father made excuses...THAT is what I believe has made everyone angry. They don't need to apologize, they didn't do it. But, they showed no compassion for the victim....it was all about them and their son. I love my son to the ends of the earth...but I he raped someone, I would not condone his actions.
You would probably still love your son, maybe help him afford a good lawyer, let him live with you to save money and avoid homelessness, help him to not commit suicide? He's your son.
Spidey's Mom - with all due respect - none of us really knows what we'd do in a given situation until we're in it. I think I'd take the approach you say you would. It seems reasonable. But who knows?
I feel like there is a real disconnect here and I don't understand why.
Should people, in general, take realistic precautions to protect themselves? Of course they should. If something goes on to happen despite those precautions are they to blame - even in part? Of course not. I lock my doors, leave my porch light on. I have big dogs with loud barks. I hold my keys a certain way when I'm walking to my car after class. I park in well lit areas and when I do go out for drinks, I make sure someone around me is totally sober.
Rape isn't a crime that's committed because the person was just too sexy to resist, or she showed too much of her legs and the perpetrator couldn't help himself. Rape is about power, not sex. If someone is going to rape someone else, it won't matter what's being worn or how someone is behaving. It's because they've been chosen. And if that person wasn't chosen, someone else will be. When we talk about the victims clothing, or what she was drinking, we're being disingenuous - because those things have nothing to do with rape.
People keep bringing up the fact that men get raped, too - of course they do. But when is the last time you heard about what the man was wearing? Probably never.
My rapist was methodical in dealings with me. He secured my friendship. He moved into the same apartment complex that I lived in. He gained my trust. He planned everything out, from start to finish. He saw me in short skirts and sweat pants. He saw me with a few beers and totally sober. He didn't want to have sex with me - he never even tried. He wanted to control me - for me to fear him because that's what this type of crime is all about.
So yes, I'll encourage my daughters to take reasonable precautions and be safe. Because everyone should. But I won't teach them that how they dress excuses how anyone treats them. Because it doesn't, and if you think it does, you're part of the problem.
and reveals that rape is not about sexual attraction.
morte, LPN, LVN
7,015 Posts
yes, because he has been acculturated to believe it is ok