I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
Why do we need a one sized fits all solution. I want respected for my intelligence and treated as equal. I also think it's respectful to hold doors. Whoever gets to the door first hold it. Guys get to cry if they need to. No one gets victim shamed... oh wait... I'm in fantasy world again
Thats not what I am saying. I am saying don't act like superwoman in one breath and a damsel in distress in the next. The type of woman who competes with men on every level and insists on being treated the same and then wants a man to open doors and lift boxes. It is hypocrisy.
You don't have to believe the sexes are identical to believe they are equal. I'm not sure what door opening has to do with rape.
By the logic used in the second quote you must not lock your car or home up because robberies will happen and focusing on home and car safety gives the robbers a free pass. Telling women to act more responsibly and addressing predators is not mutually exclusive but that is what I am hearing. It is all the rapists fault and being drunk and impaired in a strange place should be irrelevant. I am sure the victim is this case feels very justified that she had a right to be drunk in public. I am sure she will do it again because she has a right to do so without being harmed by some creep. Even if the driver or the rapist are 100% wrong it will be little consolation to you when you are the victim.
Since we're doing more analogies, I'd say if someone keeps their doors and windows locked and has an alarm system, they shouldn't be blamed for an armed in-home robbery because they turned off the alarm system and unlocked the door for someone they thought was safe to have in their house without taking their property and shooting them.
I believe that you intend for them to be separate issues. As I've said, I wholly believe that women should be sensible (though we all have our own definition of "sensible" and mine does not include women not being allowed to drink alcohol, go to parties, dress how they like, or choose their own sexual partners according to their own moral code and not mine) but people entering the conversation 300 posts in may not have read that several commenters have very specifically assigned blame to rape victims for dressing provocatively, drinking too much, being around other people who've been drinking, and having sex before marriage. There is already no shortage of people in the world who DO believe the victim holds or shares the blame based on her actions, and they tend to be offensively vociferous about that belief. When you are talking to a rape victim and you tell her she should have modified her behaviors to prevent the attack, I 100% guarantee you sound like those rape apologists, whether you mean to or not.
I'm not saying that individual behavior modification is useless, I'm saying it's woefully inadequate to deal with rape on a large scale.
He will not serve the 6 months, only three. Also, it will be in a segregated unit to protect him from harm. He will never meet BUBBA, and he will probably do it again...registered sex offender or not.
The part that makes me angry is that the mother and father made excuses...THAT is what I believe has made everyone angry. They don't need to apologize, they didn't do it. But, they showed no compassion for the victim....it was all about them and their son. I love my son to the ends of the earth...but I he raped someone, I would not condone his actions.
I also thought Yikes...an orthopedic surgeon...??? About 15 years ago a surgeon lost his license in my area for raping women under anesthesia in his office. Probably got away with it previously!
And who would have thought a degree makes you smarter. Rape is a crime of violence. Nuns wearing habits have been raped. I once had a 80 old patient who was raped in her garden.
Why do we need a one sized fits all solution. I want respected for my intelligence and treated as equal. I also think it's respectful to hold doors. Whoever gets to the door first hold it. Guys get to cry if they need to. No one gets victim shamed... oh wait... I'm in fantasy world again
And i agree that you should be respected and treated as equal. That is not what i am talking about. I am addressing the culture that men and women are the same but as soon as a man strikes/rapes a woman the "BUT I"M JUST A GIRL" defense comes out. Either women are the fairer sex or they aren't. It seems hypocritical.
And i agree that you should be respected and treated as equal. That is not what i am talking about. I am addressing the culture that men and women are the same but as soon as a man strikes/rapes a woman the "BUT I"M JUST A GIRL" defense comes out. Either women are the fairer sex or they aren't. It seems hypocritical.
Who has said anything of the sort? What do you even mean by this?
And i agree that you should be respected and treated as equal. That is not what i am talking about. I am addressing the culture that men and women are the same but as soon as a man strikes/rapes a woman the "BUT I"M JUST A GIRL" defense comes out. Either women are the fairer sex or they aren't. It seems hypocritical.
Look, I'm not going to pretend I'm as big as a man, or as strong as man. I'm on the tall end of short. I'll certainly try to run or fight if I can, but a male of similar stature (that saying he's slightly short for a male) will have size advantage over me. If we are equally skilled physically, he'd win. That's physics. It's a big part of why those beliefs exist.
That said, we should also call out women on bad behavior as well. If we know someone is abusive, we should call it out. Doesn't matter what sex, gender, or anything.
I'll bow out by saying you are absolutely free to act as you please, say what you please, dress as you please, get as drunk and impaired as you like. You are also free to bash predators and never take any personal responsibility for your actions by deflecting. I am a realist. It would be great to focus only on predators and have that be sufficient. It would be great to say I should be able to get drunk and pass out on a bed naked in a frat house and have nothing happen. Nothing should happen but you are foolish to bank on that. I hope the victim gets the help she needs to heal.
The type of woman who competes with men on every level and insists on being treated the same and then wants a man to open doors and lift boxes. It is hypocrisy.
And i agree that you should be respected and treated as equal. That is not what i am talking about. I am addressing the culture that men and women are the same but as soon as a man strikes/rapes a woman the "BUT I"M JUST A GIRL" defense comes out. Either women are the fairer sex or they aren't. It seems hypocritical.
Gosh, women are fussy, wanting doors opened for them but not wanting to be beaten and raped. (????????)
:banghead:
jaycam, RN
1 Article; 459 Posts
But Conqueror+....
Why do we need a one sized fits all solution. I want respected for my intelligence and treated as equal. I also think it's respectful to hold doors. Whoever gets to the door first hold it. Guys get to cry if they need to. No one gets victim shamed... oh wait... I'm in fantasy world again