Members are discussing the topic of family members or partners being allowed to comfort patients in hospital beds. Some members believe it can provide emotional support and aid in the healing process, while others raise concerns about infection control, privacy, and maintaining professionalism. The debate includes personal anecdotes, hospital policies, and differing perspectives on what is appropriate in different healthcare settings.
I just finished a shift, where while giving report, once again the nurse I was reporting to blew a gasket when she discovered that one of the patient's boyfriends was in the bed with the patient. She had the same reaction last week when a patient had her husband in bed with her. She says it is inappropriate and unacceptable. I personally have no problem with it, as long as: they are acting appropriate, the patient wants the visitor in their bed, the patient is not in critical condition, the visitor is not impeding on patient's care, and there are no major open wounds/sources for infection.
I came home today searching all over the internet for some sort of policy guidance as to how other hospitals deal with this sort of thing and found nothing, so I decided to open this thread to see how you all felt about this situation.
Why do we think it's cute when a 90 year old lady curls up with her dying husband so he can finally get some rest, but flip out when its a 20 year old who finds comfort having her partner curled up beside them? Is this a privilidge that only belongs to the married, the dying, the heterosexual adult norm? What about the lesbian or gay couple... if you create a policy that says "married or spouses" then you've just excluded that population. It seems too situation specific to create a broad policy i.e. the reasons I stated above as contraindications or things like hospice or new baby as "acceptable".
But the problem comes that when there isn't a policy in place, and you have inconsitency in nursing judgement patient's get an unclear message. I can guarantee you that after I leave, that nurse will go in the room, chastize the visitor and make him get out of the bed. Then, I come on in the morning and suddenly it's okay? Mixed messages for sure.
My feelings are that allowing the visitor to share the bed with patient in "appropriate situations outlined above", regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, etc. the patient has the RIGHT to share their bed. It goes within the core values of nursing... THE RIGHT TO AUTONOMY, NON-MALEFICIENCE (damage their level of comfort or security and trust by being told no one can be in their bed) and BENEFICIENCE (if the patient is able to benefit from the comfort of the closeness of a loved one, a stuffed animal, a pet, (without causing harm) then it is our duty to respect this opportunity for improved outcomes.
Honestly, there's only been 2 nurses I've met who have problems with this. They both were super conservative, had some control issues, very opinionated, and were very outspoken. What are your thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not, or whether policies should be put in place? ~MN RN
as long as it does not interefere with the healing process then go for it...that can actually be apart of the healing process for some people- remember nurses we must take the holistic approach..and to care for our patients as a whole person not just a diagnosis:hug::thankya:
I have to say that I think it is ok as long as nothing inappropriate is going on! I do understand the concern over the non-patient possibly falling out of the bed & getting hurt & the hospital being held responsible. But sometimes a patient just needs to be held & comforted by the people they love!
Shortly after my second child was born it was discovered that he had fluid on his lungs that led to a pneumothorax. Not only did they move him from the nursery to the NICU, they had to move him to a different hospital than the one I was still staying in. I was devastated, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. My dear sweet husband left our older son with family so he could spend the night with me. He stayed next to me in my hospital bed all night, holding me and reassuring me that our son would be ok. If a nurse had told him he had to get out of the bed, she would have had one angry mother on her hands!!
Specializes in Dialysis, Long-term care, Med-Surg.
I can assure you that I wouldn't be in tears! And your family member would still not be in bed c you. But I'm sure if the manager was called she/he would make it totally alright, because we all know that the "customer" is always right and we do whatever they want.
As far as a pt having rights...it is a HOSPITAL not a HOTEL!
When you pay the patients hospital bill, then you can have your say! Thank God for management! The way you described how you handle these situations constitutes verbal abuse!
Actually, having another person in the bed makes you liable for that person. They trip, fall out, hit their hands on the handrail, etc etc etc, the company and your licensor may be asking you why 2 people were in a sick bed built for one. Our policy is strict against it.
Is there a policy that states that? Because I've seen staff sit on the bed, and it would open the same issues.
If there's a policy, great. Inform them, and document their decision. Or try not to notice what's going on, so long as the door is closed. We have tons of stupid policies.
there are a few issues here. one is "sharing the bed" and one is "having sexual intercourse in the bed."
1) very few people ever pay for their hospital bills, except indirectly through payment of insurance premium and/or taxes.
2) who pays for the bed has absolutely nothing to do with it.
3) "i think it's disgusting or gross or inappropriate" is fine for you, so when you're in the hospital bed you can be there alone if you want. others may (and manifestly do) have other opinions with how to share their corporeal selves. you, the nurse, are not allowed by the ana code of ethics to impose your values on your patients. provision 1, section 1.5 reads, in part, "individuals are interdependent members of the community. the nurse recognizes that there are situations in which the right to individual self-determination may be outweighed or limited by the rights, health, and welfare of others, particularly in relation to public health considerations. nonetheless, a limitation of individual rights must always be considered a serious deviation from the standard of care, justified only when there are no less restrictive means available to preserve the rights of others and the demands of justice."
4) if there are infection issues or actual safety issues, it's our job to point those out. but it is also the patient's right to refuse care or modify it, at all times and in all circumstances.
5) a ward or semiprivate room is no place to be having sexual feelings expressed to orgasm on anyone's part-- that's not legal in public in just about every jurisdiction. if you can't do it in a public place, you can't do it in a shared space in a hospital.
6) if it's a private room, with a door on it, the patient gets to decide what happens in there. he can refuse your bed bath or your iv therapy, and he can cuddle with his significant other or child, or the dog if you can get it in past security. one of the happiest patients i ever heard about was visited by his pet pigeon, who was totally imprinted on him and pining away when his human was in the hospital. their reunion brought tears to his eyes and mine. really.
7) i have seen no mention in this thread whatsoever of the rights of nursing home residents. the facility is home to them. staff may explicitly not prevent them from having private time for intimacy of whatever kind they want. as my midwife said when i had my second child and asked if i could have company in labor, "honey, you can have the (university of washington) husky marching band in here so long as you don't disturb the other patients."
"if the pt is well enough to engage in sex, the pt is well enough to go home."
makes a nice sound bite, probably resonates with people who have never been seriously ill or injured, in rehab, or in residential care themselves so don't know any better, but manifestly not true at all.
Many times when my husband was hospitalized for chemo, blood transfussions, etc, I'd climb in bed with him and cuddle for a while several times a day. No one ever said anything about it. It was something we both wanted and needed. With every transfussion, we knew his time on earth was was a little closer to the end. Human contact is often very important to pts. If some nurse came in and blew up about it, you'd better believe I would have gone off on the nurse manager, charge, CEO, etc.
As far as intercourse, I'd argue that many inpatients, even outside the ICU, are probably not well enough for it to be a good idea. I'm sure someone will disagree with me.
When I see somebody in a pts bed, I kick them out and state not to do it again. If they repeat the behavior I kick them out of the room.
I can assure you that I wouldn't be in tears! And your family member would still not be in bed c you.
As far as a pt having rights...it is a HOSPITAL not a HOTEL!
You as a MICU nurse, yea... well... like the OP said, critical patients are a different story!
But, falling outside an ICU and falling within the OPs list of conditions (no interrupting care and no danger to a non-critical patient), your attitude wouldn't fly unless there was a written policy backing it. I wouldn't have you in tears or anything, but I guarantee that you could present that attitude you did in your post, be as smug, commanding, shreiky, and holy as you wanted, but it would end with my loved one still in the bed and you not being my nurse anymore if you wouldn't back down and act like a professional.
Am I comfortable walking in with a spouse in bed- No!!! However I am not the scared, lonely, horrified, sick, anxious patient laying in bed. The patient is there to get better and I'm sure having someone you love laying next to you may have a positive impact. If it the patient feels better or is more at ease then why not? I would rather have a spouse slumber party then a crazy family visit that gets the patients nuts and throws the patient into a panic!
And your family member would still not be in bed c you. But I'm sure if the manager was called she/he would make it totally alright, because we all know that the "customer" is always right and we do whatever they want. 
tikilpn2
25 Posts
as long as it does not interefere with the healing process then go for it...that can actually be apart of the healing process for some people- remember nurses we must take the holistic approach..and to care for our patients as a whole person not just a diagnosis:hug::thankya: