Members are discussing the topic of family members or partners being allowed to comfort patients in hospital beds. Some members believe it can provide emotional support and aid in the healing process, while others raise concerns about infection control, privacy, and maintaining professionalism. The debate includes personal anecdotes, hospital policies, and differing perspectives on what is appropriate in different healthcare settings.
I just finished a shift, where while giving report, once again the nurse I was reporting to blew a gasket when she discovered that one of the patient's boyfriends was in the bed with the patient. She had the same reaction last week when a patient had her husband in bed with her. She says it is inappropriate and unacceptable. I personally have no problem with it, as long as: they are acting appropriate, the patient wants the visitor in their bed, the patient is not in critical condition, the visitor is not impeding on patient's care, and there are no major open wounds/sources for infection.
I came home today searching all over the internet for some sort of policy guidance as to how other hospitals deal with this sort of thing and found nothing, so I decided to open this thread to see how you all felt about this situation.
Why do we think it's cute when a 90 year old lady curls up with her dying husband so he can finally get some rest, but flip out when its a 20 year old who finds comfort having her partner curled up beside them? Is this a privilidge that only belongs to the married, the dying, the heterosexual adult norm? What about the lesbian or gay couple... if you create a policy that says "married or spouses" then you've just excluded that population. It seems too situation specific to create a broad policy i.e. the reasons I stated above as contraindications or things like hospice or new baby as "acceptable".
But the problem comes that when there isn't a policy in place, and you have inconsitency in nursing judgement patient's get an unclear message. I can guarantee you that after I leave, that nurse will go in the room, chastize the visitor and make him get out of the bed. Then, I come on in the morning and suddenly it's okay? Mixed messages for sure.
My feelings are that allowing the visitor to share the bed with patient in "appropriate situations outlined above", regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, etc. the patient has the RIGHT to share their bed. It goes within the core values of nursing... THE RIGHT TO AUTONOMY, NON-MALEFICIENCE (damage their level of comfort or security and trust by being told no one can be in their bed) and BENEFICIENCE (if the patient is able to benefit from the comfort of the closeness of a loved one, a stuffed animal, a pet, (without causing harm) then it is our duty to respect this opportunity for improved outcomes.
Honestly, there's only been 2 nurses I've met who have problems with this. They both were super conservative, had some control issues, very opinionated, and were very outspoken. What are your thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not, or whether policies should be put in place? ~MN RN
I never had a problem with it, but the topic did remind me of a certain situation. I had two young guys who both had had eye surgery...I can't recall what, I think one was a scleral buckle and the other was something retinal. It was some years ago, so they both got to spend a few days inpatient post op. Both were doing well, up to the bathroom on their own, could sit up, probably were going home the next morning. They both had girtlfriends in visiting and both were cuddling very innocently with their girlfriends in their respective beds watching TV. All looked very innocent to me. The eye surgeon came in (they had the same one) came in and had a fit. Ordered both girls off the beds and gave anyone within earshot a lecture about no canoodling of any sort after his eye surgeries because arousal could cause the pupils to dilate, and whatever surgery these fellows had needed the pupils to stay constricted during recovery. He seriously felt that the girlfriend sitting next to the guy was too much.
Put my vote under "all for it"- same stipulations as PP stated- medically safe, no infection risk, appropriate behavior. I've had pts do this, and it doesn't bother me at all. I was in the ED in Jan with a horrible migraine, N/V x 8 hrs, and boyfriend sat on the side of the bed and rubbed my back- helped calm me down SO much. That might've been the morphine too...
I totally agree with the person that posted this thread. We as nurses have to check our personal feelings at the time clock before we start our shift because its the nurse that has the ability to help with the progress of a patients health or have an attitude that impedes the progress of health care. With that being said if the patient isnt in critical condition and patient care can be carried out there is no reason why family, husband,wife, domestic partner can't be comforting within reason.
Too much sexism here. A patient is a patient is a patient.....usually that term implies someone with a health problem or they wouldn't be there. Respecting that alone should rule the day. The Hospital sets the rules and the rules should reflect care and respect for the PATIENT.
Agreed! Its case by case. I remember one patient and her spouse. She came in for a hysterectomy, was completely fine. He got into bed with her every now and then just to cuddle and hold her close. Four days after surgery, she coded and died. It was completely unexpected.
Now if he hadn't done that, the last time he would have held her would have been days before she died. My thinking is that at least he knew he was there with her as not only her spouse but as a comfort to her till the very end. At least he had those moments with her.
Any autopsy?Was any cause found?From hysterectomy and being fine to death is huge and sad:(
I'm usually too busy to care, but....I had a pt with a packed belly wound, MRSA from head to toe (nares, wound, blood, etc.), and the girlfriend would crawl in bed with him at night. I kept telling her that his surgical site was infected and I would rather she didn't lay all over his infected wound until we had the infection (not to mention the pus and the smell) under control. But, nope, she was bound and determined, and so was he. Gross!
I'm usually too busy to care, but....I had a pt with a packed belly wound, MRSA from head to toe (nares, wound, blood, etc.), and the girlfriend would crawl in bed with him at night. I kept telling her that his surgical site was infected and I would rather she didn't lay all over his infected wound until we had the infection (not to mention the pus and the smell) under control. But, nope, she was bound and determined, and so was he. Gross!
Ummm ... this is one of the reasons we don't allow it.
Infection control issue having the girlfriend wandering all over the unit - going to the kitchen, the bathroom, using the phone that's available for p'ts and families.
What about the rights of the other p'ts ???
Other reasons we don't allow it (in the acute area I work in)
- Risk for for vulnerable p'ts (scared, opiate influence etc etc). How do we know? We are not qualified to judge re this and we shouldn't have to. There are all sorts of relationships out there (as we all know)
- It risks offending other p'ts
- It compromises privacy for other p'ts
- The family member may present behaviour issues for us to deal with (alcohol, drug use, sexual activity) that we shouldn't have to deal with. This wastes our resouces.
- The family member is not entilted to have free board in our acute area
My hospital frowns at it I believe, every nurse I can think of asks husbands/partners to hop out of the bed if seen. Mm I guess for similar reasons as stated, infection control, generally clients are in four bed bays so it's for propriety reasons as well.
I'm very much for holistic health and if the client is non infectious I can see myself being lax with the matter, but there is a higher chance of injury with two people in a bed, (especially a single). Our exceptions seem to be for Maternity (two parents snuggling with baby) or pallative care/respite/sub acute.
Surgical, medical, emergency, ICU and HDU appear to be the wards where it's not tolerated very well.
Being in paediatrics of course I'm the "Hop out of there, you two" Nurse, when I catch the pair of fifteen year olds making out behind a curtain in bed. XD There is zero tolerance for lovey dovey stints on our floor. Lol we are not going to be blamed for pregnancy or assult or whatnot by any family member, no matter how much a pair of teenagers adore one another.
^.~ Cute as it may be. Lol seeing puppy love, but there's a time and place for everything. I tease them and say 'You'll have to get better soon, if you're wanting to go on a date.'
When I first started reading this I had the opinion, "No way!, get off the bed"! But you have changed my mind a little. I still have the opinion that we must advocate for the patient, the one who needs rest and won't say "I'm tired, sick and need rest, go home or sit in a chair." We must keep in mind they are there to get well, there's plenty of time for cuddling after discharge!
Any autopsy?Was any cause found?From hysterectomy and being fine to death is huge and sad:(
I went to visit her at 9am, she was alert and orientated, we joked around some and she showed me her granddaughters pictures. (I might add when I walked in, he was in bed with her, feeding her breakfast.)
I left about 20 mins later when the nurse came in to move her to the chair. She was getting out of bed, and when they put her in the chair she passed out. They called a code not even 40 minutes after I had seen her, I went up there but stayed with the husband in the nurse managers office. From the bits of information we could get she had a pulmonary embolism and as the code team was working on her, her heart stopped. Her heart stopped for a long time before the husband told me to please tell them that enough was enough. He knew she wasn't coming back. One of the hardest things I have ever done. Her family refused the autopsy. (She was going to be discharged the next day,that was the plan anyway)
Her OBGYN took it really hard, I have never seen a doctor break down like that.
He was crying, I was crying, the family was crying. We were a big mess.
What I learned: Enjoy every moment like its your last, because it could be. Just because a doctor has performed a surgery hundred of times, there are no guarantees. If you have the chance to allow your patients some small comfort whether it be to allow a loved one to hold them or a warm blanket, do it because you never know.
I am sure its already been pointed out in this thread and I admit, I only read the first and last page, so I apologize in advance, but what about preserving some sort of normalcy for the patient? I mean, here they are in the hospital and become stressed and depressed because of that, let alone because of their condition/illness. If there are no infection risks or if the patient isnt critical and does not have all sorts of tubes and wires coming out of their body, I can't see a loving cuddle with their significant other as anything other than doing the patient good.
One of the hardest things I have ever done. Her family refused the autopsy. (She was going to be discharged the next day,that was the plan anyway)
bunsterj
132 Posts
I never had a problem with it, but the topic did remind me of a certain situation. I had two young guys who both had had eye surgery...I can't recall what, I think one was a scleral buckle and the other was something retinal. It was some years ago, so they both got to spend a few days inpatient post op. Both were doing well, up to the bathroom on their own, could sit up, probably were going home the next morning. They both had girtlfriends in visiting and both were cuddling very innocently with their girlfriends in their respective beds watching TV. All looked very innocent to me. The eye surgeon came in (they had the same one) came in and had a fit. Ordered both girls off the beds and gave anyone within earshot a lecture about no canoodling of any sort after his eye surgeries because arousal could cause the pupils to dilate, and whatever surgery these fellows had needed the pupils to stay constricted during recovery. He seriously felt that the girlfriend sitting next to the guy was too much.