Members are discussing the topic of family members or partners being allowed to comfort patients in hospital beds. Some members believe it can provide emotional support and aid in the healing process, while others raise concerns about infection control, privacy, and maintaining professionalism. The debate includes personal anecdotes, hospital policies, and differing perspectives on what is appropriate in different healthcare settings.
I just finished a shift, where while giving report, once again the nurse I was reporting to blew a gasket when she discovered that one of the patient's boyfriends was in the bed with the patient. She had the same reaction last week when a patient had her husband in bed with her. She says it is inappropriate and unacceptable. I personally have no problem with it, as long as: they are acting appropriate, the patient wants the visitor in their bed, the patient is not in critical condition, the visitor is not impeding on patient's care, and there are no major open wounds/sources for infection.
I came home today searching all over the internet for some sort of policy guidance as to how other hospitals deal with this sort of thing and found nothing, so I decided to open this thread to see how you all felt about this situation.
Why do we think it's cute when a 90 year old lady curls up with her dying husband so he can finally get some rest, but flip out when its a 20 year old who finds comfort having her partner curled up beside them? Is this a privilidge that only belongs to the married, the dying, the heterosexual adult norm? What about the lesbian or gay couple... if you create a policy that says "married or spouses" then you've just excluded that population. It seems too situation specific to create a broad policy i.e. the reasons I stated above as contraindications or things like hospice or new baby as "acceptable".
But the problem comes that when there isn't a policy in place, and you have inconsitency in nursing judgement patient's get an unclear message. I can guarantee you that after I leave, that nurse will go in the room, chastize the visitor and make him get out of the bed. Then, I come on in the morning and suddenly it's okay? Mixed messages for sure.
My feelings are that allowing the visitor to share the bed with patient in "appropriate situations outlined above", regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, etc. the patient has the RIGHT to share their bed. It goes within the core values of nursing... THE RIGHT TO AUTONOMY, NON-MALEFICIENCE (damage their level of comfort or security and trust by being told no one can be in their bed) and BENEFICIENCE (if the patient is able to benefit from the comfort of the closeness of a loved one, a stuffed animal, a pet, (without causing harm) then it is our duty to respect this opportunity for improved outcomes.
Honestly, there's only been 2 nurses I've met who have problems with this. They both were super conservative, had some control issues, very opinionated, and were very outspoken. What are your thoughts on whether it is appropriate or not, or whether policies should be put in place? ~MN RN
I can only answer as a patient and partner of a patient. My husband (fiance at the time) had an arterial venous malformation in the brain that ruptured. Needless to say we were both scared to death. The nurses were the best! Doctors were cold scary and largely absent. It was the nurses who comforted, advocated and assured us. And they allowed me to lay beside him occasionally as long as I was not disturbing any tubes. Believe me there was no sex involved but when healthy young people have a near death experience and are suddenly incapacitated, contact with a loved one is important. On my request the nurses even taught me how to give a bed bath so I could do some of his care. I felt better because I could DO something, and he felt better because he felt less exposed and more intimate. If those nurses had reprimanded me, he would have still had good care and a positive outcome but we certainly wouldn't have felt as supported. Fast forward numerous years to the only times I've been hospitalized during healthy deliveries of my three babies and I'm pretty sure I would have checked myself out two hours post delivery if my scared little people couldn't crawl in with mom. I really hope there is malpractice reform if liability trumps humanity.
but where does the RN liability start/end on these situations? I have had young trauma pts with "visitors" that appeared under consenting age and found them in the hospital bed. Do I have to check ID cards? also, sometimes it seems to me that the patient does not want the visitor in the bed but doesn't know how to say NO. I hate this part of nursing. We are taught to be non-judgmental but we are asked to assess behavior/personal risk and act accordingly?
It's not a huge deal to me - though i would rather not walk in on a patient in the throes of passion. If you are a short term patient, control your urges until you get home. A patient that's been admitted for quite a while (diagnosis and situation permitting) may benefit from some private time if the room is a private room. Just please shut the door. I promise promise promise to knock.
Now, if the visitor, spouse, parent is lying on my tubes, we need to discuss this matter. Sure, patients heal faster when they are getting all their needs met, even if it's simply a mother snuggling her child, but you can't pull out the iv or tug at the foley to meet this need for human contact. Also - if my patient is infectious or has a wound that a visitor may infect, they may not lie on the bed either.
Specializes in PICU now, Peds and med-surg in the past.
A patient has rights and are paying for services. If the patient says its ok for someone to lay in bed with them, have at it! If I or my family members were in the hospital, if anyone would talk to me in the manner stated above, I would send them out in tears and notify every administrator possible! We as nurses DO NOT have the right to repremand a patient as though they were a child! Just saying!
I think there's no real answer to the question of whether or not having a visitor in bed is ok, certainly no answer that covers all situations. With teens, I think I tend to be more strict and 'suggest' that the boyfriend/girlfriend is welcome to move the sleep chair next to the bed. Only rarely would I allow a teen's partner to stay over night. With adults, I think it's all about them being respectful. I think it's probably not the best idea when the patient has a roommate because I'm not sure that the desire of one patient to be physically as close as possible to their significant other should be more important then the other patient's desire to not be uncomfortable sitting just feet away from the snugglers, especially if they are going further then just sitting with an arm around eachother. As for sex, I'm sorry - I am not a prude at all but it does NOT belong in a hospital period. I would probably have a heart attack if I walked into a room to care for a patient and they (or in my case as a PICU nurse, likely their parents) we engaged in a sexual act. Customer satisfaction should only require us nurses to deal with so much and I think having to work our jobs around when our patients are having sex is just a little too much haha!
I don't think when I worked at the hospital we had any rules on this... It did happen from time to time. The only problem I had was when I had to sneak into rooms at night and try to figure out what person was the patient.
If the patient is stable and infection free why not let them get some comfort from their loved ones?
Specializes in Plastics. General Surgery. ITU. Oncology.
Dosen't bother me at all but then I have the Infection Control Gestapo to deal with (these idiots blow a fuse if a relative so much as SITS on the patient's bed) plus the fact that my ward is an old-fashioned open ward with only 3 private rooms out of its total 32 beds.You can see how that might be a problem.
Infection Control really grind my gears. It's an ONCOLOGY ward for the love of God! Some of these patients are dying. Who the hell are we to stop their loved ones getting physically close? Give the Germ Secret Police half a chance and we'd have no patients at all on the grounds that no patients=no infection.
A patient has rights and are paying for services. If the patient says its ok for someone to lay in bed with them, have at it! If I or my family members were in the hospital, if anyone would talk to me in the manner stated above, I would send them out in tears and notify every administrator possible! We as nurses DO NOT have the right to repremand a patient as though they were a child! Just saying!
I can assure you that I wouldn't be in tears! And your family member would still not be in bed c you. But I'm sure if the manager was called she/he would make it totally alright, because we all know that the "customer" is always right and we do whatever they want.
As far as a pt having rights...it is a HOSPITAL not a HOTEL!
As far as a pt having rights...it is a HOSPITAL not a HOTEL!
Please tell me you are joking? I realize it's not a hotel, but the patients most certianly have rights. Just because something makes YOU uncomfortable, or may be totally inappropriate, doesn't mean they don't have rights.
Rights = protected by law and/or facility policy NOT whether or not it is uncomfortable or inappropriate.
I agree that I don't think patients should be having sex at the hospital. I don't think it is the time or place. But I shouldn't impose what I think on the patient unless it involves their direct care, or they ask my opinion.
Specializes in Mental Health, Medical Research, Periop.
It doesn't bother me. I remember when my daughter was 2 she had surgery, I couldn't imagine being anywhere but right next to her in the bed holding her. I think it was a healing process for her (and me).
Specializes in Burn, CCU, CTICU, Trauma, SICU, MICU.
I do not allow people in the bed. I have IV lines, medications, foleys, etc... even on the "healthy" patients and obviously for my sick ones, its an even bigger no-no. The ONLY time I let someone cuddle was a guy that was pronounced brain dead and they were saying their goodbyes. This is a hospital, I have things I need to be doing and you taking a nap isn't OK. This isn't a hotel. Need a nap? - Go home. We have very strict no over-night policies and no sleeping at the bedside. If you are sleepy, clearly you need a nap and in my ICU bed is NOT one of those places where you get to catch some Zzzzs.
It doesn't bother me. I remember when my daughter was 2 she had surgery, I couldn't imagine being anywhere but right next to her in the bed holding her. I think it was a healing process for her (and me).
And your family member would still not be in bed c you. But I'm sure if the manager was called she/he would make it totally alright, because we all know that the "customer" is always right and we do whatever they want. 
knewme
11 Posts
I can only answer as a patient and partner of a patient. My husband (fiance at the time) had an arterial venous malformation in the brain that ruptured. Needless to say we were both scared to death. The nurses were the best! Doctors were cold scary and largely absent. It was the nurses who comforted, advocated and assured us. And they allowed me to lay beside him occasionally as long as I was not disturbing any tubes. Believe me there was no sex involved but when healthy young people have a near death experience and are suddenly incapacitated, contact with a loved one is important. On my request the nurses even taught me how to give a bed bath so I could do some of his care. I felt better because I could DO something, and he felt better because he felt less exposed and more intimate. If those nurses had reprimanded me, he would have still had good care and a positive outcome but we certainly wouldn't have felt as supported. Fast forward numerous years to the only times I've been hospitalized during healthy deliveries of my three babies and I'm pretty sure I would have checked myself out two hours post delivery if my scared little people couldn't crawl in with mom. I really hope there is malpractice reform if liability trumps humanity.