What do you say when a friend and classmate asks to see your answers or papers?
My mom called me a pushover and maybe. One girl, also my friend as in hanging out outside of classes, asked to see my 5 page study guide for a final in our class we had to write. I waited until she told me she did her own, then she asked again to see mine in case she left anything out so I emailed it to her the night before. The next day in final we took out our guides and the teacher checked them all over, and I found out that she had copied mine exactly. She told the teacher we worked on it together before I could open my mouth, and the teacher said "that was smart" and was fine so I just didn't say anything when maybe I should have I don't know. The teacher had already seen mine first. This friend is a good friend.
And other examples were just other friends asking for my homework or lab answers and reports. I mean it seems wrong to say no to a friend but???? I tried to help explain the answer to them instead but I didn't always have time (or even know how to sometimes). I gave answers in the beginning but then I felt used by the end of the semester, by my own fault. Maybe this is just what you do though.. share answers? I wasn't a good student in high school so never had this problem before of people wanting my work!
Just wondering how you guys respond to friends who ask for your work. Thank you.
Weighing in from an experienced nurse/nursing faculty of view. Say no. Sharing work that should be your own definitely qualifies as academic dishonesty (cheating) and both giving and receiving help can put your program status at risk. Think about it this way, if you aren't strong enough to say no to this "friend's" request for your work at this point, would you be strong enough to say no to a friend asking you to overlook a med error, or perhaps a couple of mgs of morphine he or she pocketed? There is no room for dishonesty in this profession. That said, it is absolutely fine to help a struggling peer in other ways. Maybe say, "I'm sorry, I can't share the work I've done, but I would be happy to study with you, or work collaboratively (if that is authorized for a specific assignment) next time." Remember, you are all there to learn as much as you can and become rock star nurses. Helping a friend in this way is not really helping anyone in the long run.
Weighing in from an experienced nurse/nursing faculty of view. Say no. Sharing work that should be your own definitely qualifies as academic dishonesty (cheating) and both giving and receiving help can put your program status at risk. Think about it this way, if you aren't strong enough to say no to this "friend's" request for your work at this point, would you be strong enough to say no to a friend asking you to overlook a med error, or perhaps a couple of mgs of morphine he or she pocketed? There is no room for dishonesty in this profession. That said, it is absolutely fine to help a struggling peer in other ways. Maybe say, "I'm sorry, I can't share the work I've done, but I would be happy to study with you, or work collaboratively (if that is authorized for a specific assignment) next time." Remember, you are all there to learn as much as you can and become rock star nurses. Helping a friend in this way is not really helping anyone in the long run.
Wow this was a major wake up for me. I do not ever want it to carry over in the hospital....or have academic dishonesty on my conscience. And thanks GrnTea for the advice not to lie and why. The lie I used in the past (I didn't do it yet) HAD backfired one time.
After reading all the replies, I think I have the confidence and right perspective to say no from now on.
I want to apply to be a peer tutor for the fall so maybe I can say "make an appointment"! :)
I'm curious if all this carries over to study groups? I'm in a group of 4 people who often studies together for tests. We all bring our notes and study guides and look things over. Often everyone will be missing different answers they couldn't find, so the ones who do have an answer share it with the others and show where they found the answer. We also correct mistaken answers.
I'm curious if all this carries over to study groups? I'm in a group of 4 people who often studies together for tests. We all bring our notes and study guides and look things over. Often everyone will be missing different answers they couldn't find, so the ones who do have an answer share it with the others and show where they found the answer. We also correct mistaken answers.
That sounds useful and functional and collegial. All good sounds. :yelclap:
Suggestion for less-functional study groups: At the end of every session, decide on the topics for the next one. If (for example) there are four people in your group, write 1/4 of them on each of four pieces of paper and pull them out of a hat. Each person has to present for ten minutes on their topics. You'll find out pretty soon who bothers to work for the benefit of the group and who's the vampire.
I would never sacrifice my butt over someone else's lazy tush. Sorry. And I would be more selective about the term "friend", I'm pretty sure your friend is just using you and wouldn't care at all if you were to land in any hot water.
One thing I've leaned is that friends come and go. I would never sacrifice myself for another student.
I was just like you till my husband taught me how to grow a backbone. I suggest you find yours, saying NO is not a bad thing and I think you'll like it once you try it a few times.
My daughter learned to say no last year in high school. This girl
was not doing well in biology at the college and tried to pressure her into giving her the answers. She then proceeded to tell my daughter that if she failed the class it would be her fault even though my daughter offered to help her study. She just wanted the answers straight out. I told my daughter that if the prof sees both of your sheets are the same and confronts you both, that the other girl would quickly throw her under the bus and she would be the one most likely tossed out of the class.
Moral of the story, tell people you are glad to help and study with them, but the sharing of papers is a big no. Tell them your time is as precious as theirs and suck it up and do their own.
And and the other girl failed the class by the way and declared my daughter a mean and unfit friend. Needless to say, my daughter is very successful in her classes and this girl is limping by in college and is currently changing colleges because no one would help her in her classes.
Just my two cents, this too has happened to me. I usually make a joke when am asked to share my answers. I say something mean like "wow asking for answers? That's pretty lame Lol jk my work is probably going to fail you though" and then they don't ask anymore since they know I am trying to laugh it off without messing up our friendship! But this may not work if they know you are really nice.
this girl is limping by in college and is currently changing colleges because no one would help her in her classes.
No, she's failing because either she doesn't have the capacity to succeed in college, she's not putting in enough time and work, or she's refusing to ask for appropriate help in the right places.
I'm curious if all this carries over to study groups? I'm in a group of 4 people who often studies together for tests. We all bring our notes and study guides and look things over. Often everyone will be missing different answers they couldn't find, so the ones who do have an answer share it with the others and show where they found the answer. We also correct mistaken answers.
She copied your work and could have gotten you kicked out of class or even college for plagiarism. She cared about herself and did not care about the consequences of copying your paper. I'd not feel sorry for her at all, but feel mad that she is a torpid person wanting to copy your paper. I'd not keep a person as a friend who's as impassive as that person. Good Luck
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
You would just say no? To a good friend who says something like "I'm so stressed out I worked late and didn't have time and don't understand! Please can I see what you got on the homework"
I guess that's what I should do. I feel bad for them. But it was pretty much every assignment for one of my friends asking that.
Just say no. If they're such a good friend, they'll get it. If they don't get it, maybe they weren't such a good friend.
My first thought is JUST SAY NO. If you have someone call you for a specific homework answer (like I just cannot find the answer to number 35 on this questionnaire-you can say, oh I think I found that on page 101 or 102 of the book) and let them find it the way you did. As for study guides, just say no. My email is down, my printer is broken, I am at my bother's and don't have it with me, or JUST SAY NO
Study groups are different. We did those where we split the questions and each of us was responsible for a section to share. That's ok as long as everyone in the group did their share.
And note, in nursing school, there are unfortunately tons of group projects, try not to be in groups with these "friends" or you will find yourself doing all the work.
2nurse2teach
10 Posts
Weighing in from an experienced nurse/nursing faculty of view. Say no. Sharing work that should be your own definitely qualifies as academic dishonesty (cheating) and both giving and receiving help can put your program status at risk. Think about it this way, if you aren't strong enough to say no to this "friend's" request for your work at this point, would you be strong enough to say no to a friend asking you to overlook a med error, or perhaps a couple of mgs of morphine he or she pocketed? There is no room for dishonesty in this profession. That said, it is absolutely fine to help a struggling peer in other ways. Maybe say, "I'm sorry, I can't share the work I've done, but I would be happy to study with you, or work collaboratively (if that is authorized for a specific assignment) next time." Remember, you are all there to learn as much as you can and become rock star nurses. Helping a friend in this way is not really helping anyone in the long run.