What do you say when a friend and classmate asks to see your answers or papers?
My mom called me a pushover and maybe. One girl, also my friend as in hanging out outside of classes, asked to see my 5 page study guide for a final in our class we had to write. I waited until she told me she did her own, then she asked again to see mine in case she left anything out so I emailed it to her the night before. The next day in final we took out our guides and the teacher checked them all over, and I found out that she had copied mine exactly. She told the teacher we worked on it together before I could open my mouth, and the teacher said "that was smart" and was fine so I just didn't say anything when maybe I should have I don't know. The teacher had already seen mine first. This friend is a good friend.
And other examples were just other friends asking for my homework or lab answers and reports. I mean it seems wrong to say no to a friend but???? I tried to help explain the answer to them instead but I didn't always have time (or even know how to sometimes). I gave answers in the beginning but then I felt used by the end of the semester, by my own fault. Maybe this is just what you do though.. share answers? I wasn't a good student in high school so never had this problem before of people wanting my work!
Just wondering how you guys respond to friends who ask for your work. Thank you.
she switched into your courses ? Sounds like she still expects to ride on your coattails. If I was in your position, I would switch as well.
I know! That was my thought too. She asked to verify that was the one I was in..and for a second I thought not to tell her. But I thought about her schedule and how it would be impossible for her to switch in that class, so I told her yes. That's when she dropped one of her classes and registered for this one.
The problem is it is the only class (neuro) offered. If I wanted to I could take another bio class about plants and fulfill my requirement .. but I thought neuro would be more useful and interesting. I need to learn how to stand up.
If you want me to be completely honest, no I would not have. However, I would have spoken to her after and let her know that this will not be a repeated incident. Apparently you also did not let it go, and this is bothering you, or you wouldnt be here asking. I am definitely not saying you should let it go, just pointing out that you know the answer to your original question or your moral compass wouldnt be spinning.
I know! That was my thought too. She asked to verify that was the one I was in..and for a second I thought not to tell her. But I thought about her schedule and how it would be impossible for her to switch in that class, so I told her yes. That's when she dropped one of her classes and registered for this one.
The problem is it is the only class (neuro) offered. If I wanted to I could take another bio class about plants and fulfill my requirement .. but I thought neuro would be more useful and interesting. I need to learn how to stand up.
do not allow her to sit near you in your classes, and inform her that although time constraints can be stressful, that does not mean you are willing to essentially do the class for her. If she is so pressed for time, perhaps she should lighten her academic load.
I think because you have let it continue, however, it will be more difficult to set those boundaries. Hold your ground, and don't let your papers out of your sight (I've had a friend get her paper taken by a devout cheater in a similar situation ).
If you want me to be completely honest, no I would not have. However, I would have spoken to her after and let her know that this will not be a repeated incident. Apparently you also did not let it go, and this is bothering you, or you wouldnt be here asking. I am definitely not saying you should let it go, just pointing out that you know the answer to your original question or your moral compass wouldnt be spinning.
Thanks. You're right it was bothering me, especially beginning my nursing classes I don't want it to happen there.
I think I liked being a "smart one" in class also. But mostly I have trouble telling them no even if I wanted to.
I think because you have let it continue, however, it will be more difficult to set those boundaries. Hold your ground, and don't let your papers out of your sight (I've had a friend get her paper taken by a devout cheater in a similar situation ).
Thank you again. I do have a plan, there's another girl in the class I know and I'm going to try to get lab partners with her so we'll sit together. She studies hard has never asked for answers.
There will always be those that use others, and unfortunately one found you. As the other poster pointed out, it will be difficult to set boundaries now that there is an established pattern, but necessary to do so. She had made a good point of saying to ask them to show you what they had vs handing over your papers. The only reason I do not suggest a study group is that you will still end up doing all the work and allowing her credit. I would instead share where I found my resources and point her to lecture notes.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I had an ex friend who went to the same LVN program together. Later we took A&P II together over the summer. The prof offered extra credit by doing reviews of the chapters. I did the all by myself, no help. She had the BALLS to come up to me all the end of the semester & ask to copy. I told her no! She didn't help, why should she get any credit!
Seriously, OP. Those people who say they're your friends but then ask for you to do their homework are just using you. Some people are plain lazy and bad with time management, and they will take advantage of those who do well in the class and are nice/naive enough to believe their excuses.
If she asks again, tell her "No, but I'm sorry you need to do your own work from now on."
I had an ex friend who went to the same LVN program together. Later we took A&P II together over the summer. The prof offered extra credit by doing reviews of the chapters. I did the all by myself, no help. She had the BALLS to come up to me all the end of the semester & ask to copy. I told her no! She didn't help, why should she get any credit!
Just what she said right there, OP. An ex friend. Do not keep toxicity in your life.
I have said no numerous times to people who have asked to see my work or study my personal test reviews. However, I have offered to help others out to do their own work, if time permitted and they just needed some guidance.
You really aren't helping if they get to copy your stuff. I know I don't want a nurse who didn't do their own work and didn't work hard in nursing school and earn their own grades.
Honestly, a friend wouldn't do something like that without your permission and even then I doubt a friend would do that.
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direw0lf, BSN
1,069 Posts
I know! That was my thought too. She asked to verify that was the one I was in..and for a second I thought not to tell her. But I thought about her schedule and how it would be impossible for her to switch in that class, so I told her yes. That's when she dropped one of her classes and registered for this one.
The problem is it is the only class (neuro) offered. If I wanted to I could take another bio class about plants and fulfill my requirement .. but I thought neuro would be more useful and interesting. I need to learn how to stand up.