I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
Offer an opinion. Vague comments like that are ignored and really aren't helpful. Nurses are not continuing in the profession? Why? Elaborate, so we can understand. Thanks.
I couldn't-in good conscience- suggest that someone become a nurse when also a parent. It took us 5 1/2 years to become parents after infertility treatments. I will not miss Christmas, holidays, or school activities for ANY job. Thank goodness there are options in the nursing profession which includes the position I am in right now, which doesn't include any patient care.
There are options-that may be why nursing is NOT at the top of high school graduates lists for college majors.....
My daughter is a business professional and my niece is a CPA. Both of them working mothers who come in late and leave early and take sick time to be home with ill kids ALL THE TIME(their husbands too). QUOTE]
Here's the thing: Neither your daughter who is a business professional or your niece who is a CPA relieves another person. Nurses at the bedside need to be there and on time, so that someone else can go home. That someone most likely has as family too, who is rightly expecting them to be home when their shift is done.
As far as being upset because you have to stay late, well, crap happens. I don't think it's a card to play. If the mother of a sick child left them at home and neglected them, they'd be in jail. If they send them to school, they will just get a call to come pick them up.
What do you expect them to do?
i don't think anyone has problems that occur once in awhile.
it's either those who frequently have something that arises:
or, when 2-3 people on staff, collectively have problems outside the job, that need addressing.
it's the same w/those who have chronic illness.
no one is disputing the validity of one's issues.
but if you can't do your job consistently and reliably, there's a problem.
employers would likely fail, if they obliged to ea and everyone's personal problems.
i'm just saying it is not fair for parents to get all the considerations, while single people are expected to carry the burden.
that's just not fair.
leslie
Hi, I agree with both sides.....on one hand, most of us are female and we are usually the prime care-takers of the children (always an exception to this of course) We do need to work harder with flex-schedules, in advance when possible, to cover the time without it being an unexpected burden to another nurse that needs to leave.With calling in sick, it is a great hardship to fill an open shift, especially day shift. I hate calling nurses at 5 a.m to beg them to come in @5:45! Also, as far as holidays, my family usually works around my schedule. I would love to have Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, but we have responsibilities to care for people who need us on holidays also, that's just the way it is. If everyone on staff can give a little, even holidays can be worked out. If you have a good management staff, and staff that works together.....that is the key. It is a difficult, but rewarding profession and I admire all of you!:redpinkhe:twocents:
Regarding kids and time off... I had a problem with scheduling. My boss would say, I am just going to put you in on this day or that, because so-and-so gets a break in child care if she has Fridays off... oh, and you need to stay late because another nurse works two jobs and has to come in a little late on those days... just because I didn't have a "real life." I finally said that it isn't fair to me to have to have my schedule jerked around all the time because my kids are grown and I don't have two jobs. I do have a life, and I like my schedule just the way it is, thank you very much..
Regarding kids and time off... I had a problem with scheduling. My boss would say, I am just going to put you in on this day or that, because so-and-so gets a break in child care if she has Fridays off... oh, and you need to stay late because another nurse works two jobs and has to come in a little late on those days... just because I didn't have a "real life." I finally said that it isn't fair to me to have to have my schedule jerked around all the time because my kids are grown and I don't have two jobs. I do have a life, and I like my schedule just the way it is, thank you very much..
Hey, good for you! I am sorry you were treated this way. I think it's fine to stay late if you want to, but it was not nice that they just TOLD you to stay. That just causes resentment. I'm glad you stood up for yourself.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
What I think this thread is about is the abusers who use children as an excuse to receive entitled treatment. Most of us know cognitively, that things happen. That is how life goes. But, there is a difference between not arranging for care where the risk of being late to either place is less, and an outright emergency. Usually, those that manipulate their employers and co-workers with children (note that I stated manipulate, not the ones that have a true episode) have a tendency to also short their collagues with other issues while they are, in fact at work. It sometimes becomes; "Can you pass my meds for me, I am so upset that Johnny has a headache, or I need to take a 2 hour lunch", or other things that really drain the nurses that are already there.
There is a co-worker of mine that has an adorable set of 5 year old twins. She and her husband work alternate shifts most of the time. The RNs in our clinic rotate who comes in late, who comes in early, who is charge nurse on a monthly basis. This nurse tries her best to get there when she has to be super early. But, sometimes, her husband's job does not allow him to take them to school. However, this is a phenomenal nurse. She busts her buns daily. She will switch with other nurses in a heartbeat when they have an issue, and she is an AWESOME teamplayer. Therefore, we don't blink an eye if she has an issue. But, the ones that are the whiners, the trouble makers, who use any excuse in the book, well, that is another story.
The average person will have compassion. But, we have to give to get. Some people are takers and are not givers-those are the ones I think we are focusing on in this thread.
we had a young single mother with two dtrs that had to be taken to the bus stop that would take them to their grandparents in the afernoon, this put a strain on the night nurse, when she c/o the don told her that it wasn't that late [usually about 30 minutes]
when the night nurse began leaving the cart keys with another nurse that nurse complained because she was responsible that were in another part of the building
it was rough because everyone could see the pov of each nurse
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
And then there are the staff members like my 4-to-10 caregiver, who has NO kids but comes in late at least 2-3 times a month because he a) had to check on his uncle in the hospital, b) went to Portland that morning and got stuck in traffic on the way back, or c) had to drive his girlfriend to drug court because they took her driver's license and she has no other means of transportation........
In all my years of working and raising kids, I have never played the "kid card". Who am I to say that anyone else's life outside of work is less meaningful to them than my kids are to me? Of course stuff happens, sometimes kids get sick or sometimes you really want to go to that school play or orchestra concert and support your kid. But I would expect the same flexibility for anyone, not just those with kids.
My daughter had a chronic illness and I needed to take her to a physician 50 miles away when she had a flare up. I never knew when this would happen. I also had two other younger daughters. I worked nights, mostly on the weekend for years. This way I could care for her, make $, and be a decent co-worker who showed up reliably and did a good job. This wasn't always what I wanted to be doing BUT I decided that this was the best solution for me. Many people who need all sorts of special considerations would be the first ones to complain loudly if they were at a healthcare facility and their family member had to wait to be seen or cared for due to a lack of staff. They would not care that nurse Sally had to leave early because she has a child to pick up after all. It is called looking at the BIG picture and outside of one's self. As for folks with kids thinking they have preference for Christmas off. Think again! This holiday is special to almost everyone. Who are you to think you deserve it off more than the next person? Maybe this is the last Christmas they will ever see their mother or their boyfriend is leaving for Iraq after the New Year. I get so sick of selfish people!!!! God gave you peripheral vision so you could see what was on either side of that face staring back at you in the mirror.
I couldn't-in good conscience- suggest that someone become a nurse when also a parent. It took us 5 1/2 years to become parents after infertility treatments. I will not miss Christmas, holidays, or school activities for ANY job. Thank goodness there are options in the nursing profession which includes the position I am in right now, which doesn't include any patient care.
There are options-that may be why nursing is NOT at the top of high school graduates lists for college majors.....
This is your choice and hopefully it is the right one for you. However, why would a young person who has no kids put up with constantly having their schedule changed or missing appointments after work or social committments they make when co-workers fail to make child care arrangements? I am not talking about an emergency. I am talking about the attitude of "stop the world I have kids." There are people who are late literally every day or who mope because their child has 6 sporting events in one week and they are unable to make a switch. They'd like to help you out maybe some other time , but ya know they have kids after all. They are just quite po'd that you don't get it that they need to you to work for them, even though they would never consider reciprocating.
BTW, I do have three kids. I have been there and had to make some hard choices. Work is demanding and everyone of us has a right to time off that we earn.
I was not home every minute of every holiday with my kids for many years. I always spent part of it with them. They knew that what I was doing at work was important too. Now my oldest daughter is becoming a nurse. If your child is ill and needs someone on the holiday to take care of him or her, be grateful that another nurse and her family are giving of their time to do what needs to be done. After working probably 15 or so of the last 20 Christmases, I have enjoyed having the last two off as I now have an educator position. Do I feel I need to come in so someone with a healthy normal two year old can have off? Absolutely not. If someone had a crisis or critically ill family member on Christmas would I consider giving up my holiday. Of course I would.
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
Otessa, BSN, RN
1,601 Posts
I couldn't-in good conscience- suggest that someone become a nurse when also a parent. It took us 5 1/2 years to become parents after infertility treatments. I will not miss Christmas, holidays, or school activities for ANY job. Thank goodness there are options in the nursing profession which includes the position I am in right now, which doesn't include any patient care.
There are options-that may be why nursing is NOT at the top of high school graduates lists for college majors.....