I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
I too get very frustrating with the double standard given to parents. I can understand that it must be hard raising kids and nursing, but nursing is not the sort of job you can just up and leave because of the huge responsibility towards your patients. It's not fair on other staff who are already overworked to have to pick up the slack because people are unable to coordinate their home life with their work schedule.
Well as outspoken as most nurses are, and obviously most are driven, the ones with childcare issues should do what we did at our school.
We have a childcare center just around the corner from our school, nice, clean, no violations with the state. Now, our nursing class has about 40 children among all the students, of which about 12 are under the age of 5. Several people were having issues with daycare this and that. So, we went as a group to the local daycare and proposed keeping the 12 kids in that daycare while in school, and showed them our school/clinical schedule. A few weeks later, POOF the answer was yes. They work around our schedule, more or less, and it has bee working out great for the moms who have the little ones.
SO, a group of nurses moms should propose a similar thing with a local daycare in their area. In a hospital setting, there should be enough little ones to keep a daycare stocked with kids....and they might be more flexible with their hours if that is the case......
The students who use excuses in our class are the ones who CHOSE not to do this with the others...... Instructors are about fed up.
I was having difficulty with the 12 hour shift schedule. I loved being a floor nurse would go back to it in a heartbeat, if I could work 7-3:30. I didn't want to leave the hospital I have been at for many years when they abandoned 8 hr shifts for 12 's. So, I took a job in the Quality department. Currently I am a case manager because of the work hours. My husband is a firefighter who works 24 on 48 off w/O.T. It was too stressful for me to juggle the schedules. So there are many options for those with young children who can't handle the demanding hours for floor nursing. I would not discourage anyone from entering nursing because the hour are less than desirable. When my son is older I hope to go back to 12 hour shifts I loved the 4 days off each week.:redbeathe
Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.
I think the bottom line for most people is that we don't mind helping out in a crisis, but we don't want to be dumped on, either.
If you need more time off because of your kids, work part-time.
Look for creative solutions, like nurz2b and her classmates.
I'm all for employers being more flexible. I just don't think allowing someone to come in an hour and a half later than her co-workers (while they are having to add to their own work loads by covering her patients) on a regular basis is fair.
One nurse I know was off every Tuesday evening so that she could go to her daughter's sporting event. She did this by working 16 hours on Monday, rather than her usual 12. Her co-worker was then willing to come in earlier on Tuesday, since she only had to work 8 hours on Monday. I think that management should encourage that kind of problem-solving and creativity, as long as coverage is there and everyone is getting his or her hours in.
When my two were small, I worked part-time. I did occasionally call in with a sick kid. Usually, however, my management dealt with this by arranging a trade with another employee. If I called in on Wednesday, they might ask if I could work Friday instead. It usually worked out to everyone's satisfaction. They also knew that I was willing to do the same for someone else, or to cover part of a shift, if it was at all possible.
I agree with other posters that it is entirely possible to celebrate Christmas or a birthday or anything else on a day other than what the calendar dictates.
I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
I agree with you. I raised 5 children and never asked for special treatment. I always figured that both the job and the 5 children were personal choices and I should be able to balance things if I wanted both. I was lucky in that my husband earned enough to support us without my paycheck, so I worked a lot of part-time and stayed home for periods. I enjoy working full time, so that was a comprimise I made for my children. I have counseled all my kids to wait until they can afford to stay home at lease part time before they have children. I know this isn't always realistic, but it should still be a goal. Children are more important than careers in the long run, but employers cannot be expected to abide by this thinking.
It isn't just in nursing. I have had this happen in other previous jobs as well. When I worked in Inventory Control, I was "expected" to work all of the overtime while those who were married were excused. The boss' reasoning was "Well, you're single, you don't have anyone at home waiting for you." That comment really ticked me off. Yes, I was single, but that didn't mean I wanted to work myself to death. I very politely told him that just because I was single that didn't mean I didn't have a life outside of work and I would not be staying. Of course, I was told I had a "bad attitude". :icon_roll These employers were the type to complain if someone gave them a fistful of fifties.. because they weren't hundreds... I quit when the company president told me the only reason why I had a job was because he "had to hire women". I had another job offer that I had accepted, but was holding out on giving notice so I could get a paid holiday. I very sweetly smiled and said "Well, you won't have this woman hanging around much longer because after that comment, you've got my 2 weeks notice." And I went back to my desk and typed out my resignation.
I don't mind picking up and doing the extra work, but I really really really hate it when people play the kid card on a constant basis and expect everyone else to pick up the load.
Specializes in Acute Hemodialysis, Cardiac, ICU, OR.
To the posters who say that it is one's own choice to have kids and not their coworkers and their job, I think that is a little short sighted.
Someone has GOT to have kids or else the human population would die out!
People are gonna have kids and I personally don't see why most daycares close at 6:00 pm and are not open on weekends. What is the reason for this? Healthcare workers are no where near the only ones that work weird hours.
As far as being upset because you have to stay late, well, crap happens. I don't think it's a card to play. If the mother of a sick child left them at home and neglected them, they'd be in jail. If they send them to school, they will just get a call to come pick them up.
What do you expect them to do?
We expect them to take a job in nursing that allows them to both be a productive nurse and be with their families -- if that means that they have to take a clinic job, or home health, or telenursing, or school nursing until their children are older, then that is what they need to do.
No one is disputing the need for mothers to care for their children, all we are saying is that you know the expectations of a position before you take it. If the hours and responsibilities are not in line with the responsibilities in your personal life, then you need to look and find a position that is.
When I was a CNA at my 1st job in 2003, I got permission from my boss before she hired me to be 15 min late in the morning because of when my kids got on the bus. They were 5, 8, and 9 then. She was cool with it because we set it up before I even started, but I never called in for sick kids, I had help from family or my hubby stayed home, plus 12 hour shifts make for a 3-4 day week FT and the odds are with you on your kids getting sick on your day off! I never asked for special treatment on holidays either, we just moved our celebrating around my schedule, kids don't care what day you have Christmas as long as you have it! As a nurse it will be easier because my kids will be 16, 15, and 12 when I graduate and will be more able to watch out for themselves.
To the posters who say that it is one's own choice to have kids and not their coworkers and their job, I think that is a little short sighted.
Someone has GOT to have kids or else the human population would die out!
People are gonna have kids and I personally don't see why most daycares close at 6:00 pm and are not open on weekends. What is the reason for this? Healthcare workers are no where near the only ones that work weird hours.
As far as being upset because you have to stay late, well, crap happens. I don't think it's a card to play. If the mother of a sick child left them at home and neglected them, they'd be in jail. If they send them to school, they will just get a call to come pick them up.
What do you expect them to do?
Ok - this can work both ways.
1) I don't have a husband and kids and I don't see my family on a daily basis. Those with a spouse and kids at home get to see them every day, whereas I just get to see my family on holidays. Therefore, I deserve holidays off more than those who have spouses and kids, because I should get to spend time with my family too.
2) I should get Fridays and Saturdays off so I can date. How am I supposed to join the ranks of the breeders if I don't get time off to date? Kids don't grow in gardens, after all, and we don't want the human population to die out.
3) I'm in graduate school, so I should get more time off to work on things for school. How am I supposed to get a job where weekends and holidays are not required if I don't further my education?
For anyone thinking that these three things are MY CHOICES and I should find a way to make it work so that I can have the things I want in life without making everyone around me turn their lives upside down - well, that is EXACTLY the point.
I have had two CI's in my job who are consistently late coming in because of their kid's issues. Now, I wouldn't mind so much if they then didn't turn around and tell me I need to hurry up with my patients so I can do "their" charting for them and how they hate being behind and I have to get to it since I am doing their job that day. Really??? You hate being behind?!!! Then get your butt to work on time so the night shift nurse and myself aren't waiting 15 minutes for report to start! That's 15 minutes sooner I can be charting! Drag the children out of bed and get them on the bus on time, so I can do your charting for you and I don't have to feel rushed with my patients. That way everyone is happy :)
As far as Christmas goes, we all want to be with our family on the holidays regardless of children or no children. I am 200 miles away from my family. Do I pull the "I have to travel home and see my family" card?! Absolutely not. That was my choice to move away just as it is your choice to have a family.
I am not trying to be mean and I certainly do understand things come up, but I hate the entitlement card/abusers of the system.
1) I don't have a husband and kids and I don't see my family on a daily basis. Those with a spouse and kids at home get to see them every day, whereas I just get to see my family on holidays. Therefore, I deserve holidays off more than those who have spouses and kids, because I should get to spend time with my family too.
2) I should get Fridays and Saturdays off so I can date. How am I supposed to join the ranks of the breeders if I don't get time off to date? Kids don't grow in gardens, after all, and we don't want the human population to die out.
3) I'm in graduate school, so I should get more time off to work on things for school. How am I supposed to get a job where weekends and holidays are not required if I don't further my education?
For anyone thinking that these three things are MY CHOICES and I should find a way to make it work so that I can have the things I want in life without making everyone around me turn their lives upside down - well, that is EXACTLY the point.
I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
Unfortunately, I see this as just one symptom of having raised the entitled generation. Many of them feel that they are 'owed' - whether it be special consideration at work - or an entire lifestyle.
It kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with a young, pregnant CNA at the last place I worked. She wanted to be placed on 'light duty' without a doctors order. The facility refused and told her if she felt that she couldn't do her work (she was barely showing at that time) that maybe she should take a leave.
She came to me about it, and I didn't give her any sympathy - I asked her how was it fair to ask her co-workers to do her work, yet get paid the very same. She kept telling me "But, I'm PREGNANT." Yeah, well the rest of us had all been thru it and had to deal with it.
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
Scrubby
1,313 Posts
I too get very frustrating with the double standard given to parents. I can understand that it must be hard raising kids and nursing, but nursing is not the sort of job you can just up and leave because of the huge responsibility towards your patients. It's not fair on other staff who are already overworked to have to pick up the slack because people are unable to coordinate their home life with their work schedule.