I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
This show especially showcased business jobs, executive type stuff (and some of them do indeed expect to have the corner office from the outset), but I think some of what we're discussing here could be applied as well.
The worst ones in this regard are the people who went to an expensive private college and majored in things like art history, women's studies, or any kind of literature with no provisions made for teaching or anything like that.
Want fries with that?
Once in a while, you DO find someone who gets the corner office right away, and they are not well-liked by their co-workers. Ozzy Osbourne once said, "You meet a lot of people on the way up. Don't F them, because you're going to meet them all again on the way back down."
A couple years ago, we hired a pharmacist who had two young children, and she quit without notice less than a month after she started. I, for one, was not sorry to see her leave because it was apparent that she was going to be a big troublemaker in this regard.
One of our technicians believes that men should be actively involved in raising their children - but not to the extent that they would take time off from work to care for a sick child. She believes that if a man does this, it should be a firing offense. Why? "That's the wife's job." Huh? I asked her, "What if he was a single parent?" (which her own father was after her mother abandoned the family when she was a baby - in the mid 1960s) and she replied, "His mother should come over and watch the kids."
Whatever.
She was recently on a kick where she was trying to tell everyone else how they should spend their money, live their lives, raise their children, etc. and I suspect she got talked to because it stopped abruptly. She actually is a very nice person with whom I enjoy working.
One of my friends used to work with a man (a nurse) who was raising 3 kids on his own; one was normal, one was severely physically and mentally handicapped, and the third led a relatively normal life due to extensive medication for a rare disease. The mom couldn't cope and walked out on them, and he still never missed a day of work. He tried to get child support, and the agency pretty much told him that their services were only for women. :angryfire
There was an entire news show, and I've forgotten which one, regarding the "I want it all and I want it now" mentality of young people today. Guess what? It leads directly back to how they were raised! In a world of never hearing the word "no" at home, always being the "second winner" instead of "Joe won, you didn't. Run harder next time." As a result, many of these kids are expecting to be always on top of the heap in every way when they get out into the real world, and the real world just doesn't work that way. This show especially showcased business jobs, executive type stuff (and some of them do indeed expect to have the corner office from the outset), but I think some of what we're discussing here could be applied as well.
A show like that is making a blanket statement. I'm 27 and I assume I am a young person. I was raised in a very poor home, we were homeless at times, with a physically/mentally abusive parent. Everything I have I earned and don't have a "want it now" mentality. Here's the truth: when old people were young, the old people of that day thought the same thing. No matter what generation, the older generation always thinks things were better in there day, and kids were better behaved, and people worked for things in my day! And when this "young generation gets old, they say the same ting about the young people. So I really take that stuff with a grain of salt.
A show like that is making a blanket statement. I'm 27 and I assume I am a young person. I was raised in a very poor home, we were homeless at times, with a physically/mentally abusive parent. Everything I have I earned and don't have a "want it now" mentality. Here's the truth: when old people were young, the old people of that day thought the same thing. No matter what generation, the older generation always thinks things were better in there day, and kids were better behaved, and people worked for things in my day! And when this "young generation gets old, they say the same ting about the young people. So I really take that stuff with a grain of salt.
Congratulations to you. You are obviously one of the exceptions: a person who knows the ONLY way they're going to succeed is to work hard, and maybe have to take a hard look at your own life to see what you don't want to repeat. I take my hat off to you.
I agree that the older generation always has some complaint about the younger generation, but I can't honestly say that we haven't all proven them wrong in the end! I am 59 and I'm sure they wondered about us also. But way back then, people took far more responsibility for their own actions and decisions than they do now. Now, there's always someone to blame or an agency which will help you dig yourself out of a hole. Not always, but a lot of the time.
Just in case you didn't catch on (and it appears by the part I bolded that you did not), my post was tongue in cheek - made in the hopes that those that seem to think that the childless should drop everything to accommodate people with children would realize that other people have things going on in their lives too and that their children are not the primary concern of their coworkers.
I did, I was agreeing in my sarcastic sorta way, LOL.
At my particular institution, it feels - from my childless point of view - like things have gone beyond trying to be flexible towards the working parent towards almost punishing the childless individual. At my institution, parents get to:
come in at 8:00, instead of 6:45, in order to take their kids to school.
take 1.5 hour lunches, so they can pick their kids up from school and deliver them to day care (childless people get 30 minutes)
take personal calls at work (even if it's not in relation to their children) without being reprimanded
call in sick for their children's illnesses without incurring any punitive repercussions (the childless earn a point for every sick call - 12 points and you're fired)
randomly remove themselves from the schedule without finding a replacement nurse for that shift (no one else is allowed to do this)
if they are breast feeding, take 4-5 20 minute breaks through out the day to pump (even though non lactaters get NO breaks besides lunch)
store their personal breast milk in our staff food fridge, even though we have a dedicated breast milk freezer and fridge just because the breast feeders find it more convenient and don't want to share with the patients (never mind that some of the non breast feeders find it gross to have someone's bodily fluids next to our food.)
These are the kind of preferences I was concerned about, and though I'm a parent myself, I am against these special privileges.
For the record, I have no problems whatsoever with emergencies and kids. If something happened to my daughter, that comes before work anytime. My beef is when callouts/tardiness/and leaving early are frequent, such as on a weekly basis. (In my experience, sometimes twice per week.) This has been happening more often lately where I work, and it hurts those of us who have to work short, or wait longer to leave work because of the tardiness of the next shift. (Which may also affect the childcare issues of the 3 to 11 staff.)
If one feels that they "have" to be an hour late for work, then we have two other shifts that are available (I work 3 to 11) that may work better for parents. Or they should consider another field/employer where there may more flexibility. The 3 to 11 shift shouldn't be 4 to 10 for parents. I know of other workplaces that have shifts that start at 2 or 4, so there are options.
I had a co-worker once who was a few minutes late every day--when I suggested that she get up 15 minutes early in order to come in on time, she looked at me in disbelief, rolled her eyes and said "I'm not going to get up early just to be on time for work!".......
One of my friends used to work with a man (a nurse) who was raising 3 kids on his own; one was normal, one was severely physically and mentally handicapped, and the third led a relatively normal life due to extensive medication for a rare disease. The mom couldn't cope and walked out on them, and he still never missed a day of work. He tried to get child support, and the agency pretty much told him that their services were only for women. :angryfire
Odd, since I've been child support for 20 years (just ended) on my two oldest kids (long story). Must depend on the state you live in. Mothers have to pay child support and should pay child support. That is horrible that he got nothing.
Like kidsRnstill, I have a co-worker who is late for every shift. She works 8 hrs, while near on the rest of us work 12 hrs. She is mid 40's, not married, no kiddos, just cant turn up for work on time, and its laughed about! This is EVERY shift! For YEARS!!!!!!
If I have to stay over 10 minutes to cover for someone who can't get their kids to day care or if I get called in on my day off because someone didn't have a contingency plan for an illness with their child, it pretty much ticks me off.
My time is just as important to me; my holidays are just as important to me. Every minute I have to cover for someone because of their kids is a minute I sacrifice with my own family (it's a minute I could be making a baby with my own husband.)
At my particular institution, it feels - from my childless point of view - like things have gone beyond trying to be flexible towards the working parent towards almost punishing the childless individual. At my institution, parents get to:
come in at 8:00, instead of 6:45, in order to take their kids to school.
take 1.5 hour lunches, so they can pick their kids up from school and deliver them to day care (childless people get 30 minutes)
take personal calls at work (even if it's not in relation to their children) without being reprimanded
call in sick for their children's illnesses without incurring any punitive repercussions (the childless earn a point for every sick call - 12 points and you're fired)
randomly remove themselves from the schedule without finding a replacement nurse for that shift (no one else is allowed to do this)
if they are breast feeding, take 4-5 20 minute breaks through out the day to pump (even though non lactaters get NO breaks besides lunch)
store their personal breast milk in our staff food fridge, even though we have a dedicated breast milk freezer and fridge just because the breast feeders find it more convenient and don't want to share with the patients (never mind that some of the non breast feeders find it gross to have someone's bodily fluids next to our food.)
So my understanding and empathy for parents is pretty darn limited at the moment. After all, no one forced you to either have children or choose hospital nursing for your line of work. Why should I have to work harder or longer just because of your choices? Honestly, if I'm late because I was out partying the night before or call in sick because I have a hang over, I imagine your sympathy me is pretty much nil, right?
That's outrageous! Being family friendly is nice, but that's going way too far!
Are fathers allowed to do this too, or is it mothers only? I haven't read the entire thread yet.
I'm sympathetic to a point. It can't be easy having kids and being a nurse. But hospital and other nursing areas are not bankers hours, never have been bankers hours, and everyone knows this.
I just love when people are hired and then say "oh by the way, I can't come in at 6:45 because of my kids, and I have to leave early, and I have to go pump my breasts every two hours or I'll get mastitis, and I need every weekend off because my husband travels every weekend and I have no one to watch the kids, and I will not under any circumstances work Christmas....."
Life does happen with kids and parents have responsibilities. We have three people on my unit that can't make it in on time because of kids, and we allow this. Most of our night shift has to run off exactly on time or just before to get kids to school, often this means we day shifters pick up the slack. I've lost count over the years how many parents have unexpectedly had to leave for family issues, probably nearly weekly it happens, and it happens to them all, not just one. Nothing wrong with a little give and take.
But taking advantage of others with a sense of entitlement is irritating. As is the above mentioined waiting until you're hired on the floor before making your demands and needs known.
I remember going home at night, not having pumped for 8 hours, not having peed, eaten, or drank at all - running a temp - because my coworkers were too busy for me to pump. it was not nice for me not to get my break but they got to smoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
rph3664
1,714 Posts
The worst ones in this regard are the people who went to an expensive private college and majored in things like art history, women's studies, or any kind of literature with no provisions made for teaching or anything like that.
Want fries with that?
Once in a while, you DO find someone who gets the corner office right away, and they are not well-liked by their co-workers. Ozzy Osbourne
once said, "You meet a lot of people on the way up. Don't F them, because you're going to meet them all again on the way back down."
A couple years ago, we hired a pharmacist who had two young children, and she quit without notice less than a month after she started. I, for one, was not sorry to see her leave because it was apparent that she was going to be a big troublemaker in this regard.
One of our technicians believes that men should be actively involved in raising their children - but not to the extent that they would take time off from work to care for a sick child.
She believes that if a man does this, it should be a firing offense. Why? "That's the wife's job." Huh? I asked her, "What if he was a single parent?" (which her own father was after her mother abandoned the family when she was a baby - in the mid 1960s) and she replied, "His mother should come over and watch the kids."
Whatever.
She was recently on a kick where she was trying to tell everyone else how they should spend their money, live their lives, raise their children, etc. and I suspect she got talked to because it stopped abruptly. She actually is a very nice person with whom I enjoy working.
One of my friends used to work with a man (a nurse) who was raising 3 kids on his own; one was normal, one was severely physically and mentally handicapped, and the third led a relatively normal life due to extensive medication for a rare disease. The mom couldn't cope and walked out on them, and he still never missed a day of work. He tried to get child support, and the agency pretty much told him that their services were only for women. :angryfire