It is going to hurt and I think we all understand that here. Overtime it will get better, but it doesn't feel like that to you now. A couple years ago I felt like you. Didn't want to get up out of bed. Nothing brought me joy, but I went to work everyday and that kept my mind off of it for a few minutes at a time. I know if the midst of it I realized someone better was out there. And he was. I am now married to the love of my life. Go to school, get your nursing license so that no matter what happens you can take care of yourself. This will allow you to find someone you want, not someone you need. Believe me we all know that pain you are feeling, like your heart will break in two. One day at a time right now. Hugs to you.