I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
I agree Leslie, I can think of a few people off the top of my head. They use up all their sick time, then when they get sick they want people to donate their sick time to them. One woman I have in mind is married, has family around, but has used up all her sick time nevertheless. Now she hurt her back is came crying to all her co-workers.
I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.
Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
I get where you are coming from, but the fact is that when children need their parent at home due to illness, more call outs will occur. Which is why management should be providing agency and/or per diem staff to make up the hole in the schedule.
My husband and I take turns. He has more available sick and vacation days and is usually the one to call out when one of the kids is ill. But if he can't, then I do. I can't exactly let the dog take care of them.
That's not to say I abuse it, and I work my hols when it is my time to work the hols. Not being Christian, I do work Christmas eve and day no matter if it is my holiday or not - and usually switch for Thanksgiving. But I miss fireworks on the 4th and BBQs on Mem. Day weekend and leave the rest of the family on vaca and come home early if I have to work my weekend.
I also call out when I'm sick. Guilt free. And I expect my coworkers not to show up and have to contend with the products of their stomach virus all over the staff restroom.
There are abusers of every system who look for excuses for preferential treatment. If these people in question from the OP didn't have children, there would be a sick grandmother or a dying dog. Please don't put all of us working parents under that umbrella.
Sorry, my kids will always come first. Thankfully now I work for a company that is PRO family. I now have holidays off, had to get out of the hospital to do it. You couldn't pay me enough to step foot back in one. I never abused it, or used the mommy card, but if I had a sick kid at home and my manager demanded I come to work her job could go up her orifice.
I agree Leslie, I can think of a few people off the top of my head. They use up all their sick time, then when they get sick they want people to donate their sick time to them. One woman I have in mind is married, has family around, but has used up all her sick time nevertheless. Now she hurt her back is came crying to all her co-workers.
Are we still talking about parents? Your comment can describe any lazy employee and directing all these negative comments towards "the kid card" is very one sided. What about the single people that call out to go to the beach or because they were out too late with friends the night before? If a company allows a certain number of sick time and a parent wants to take everyone because of their child, then that's their business. Really, a parent who is as irresponsible as some of you have described, was just as full of excuses before they had kids. You have it backwards. Kids don't create a bad employee, they are just another excuse for someone who always felt privlaged to special treatment.
I did switch jobs to accomodate child care. I left a great job I loved in the ER for LTC to work around child care. That was a big sacrific for me. And with NO notice, my in home care quit last week. Thankfully, my employer has worked with me, and does work with all the workers to accomodate child issues. If my employer thought like some of the people on this post I would have been out of a job until I could find another that would work around my specific schedule. And with my husband in full time PA school and no family to help, we'd of been screwed. Good thing my manager has a heart!! :redbeathe
There are abusers of every system who look for excuses for preferential treatment. If these people in question from the OP didn't have children, there would be a sick grandmother or a dying dog. Please don't put all of us working parents under that umbrella.
Blee
there have been 2 single someones, who would habitually call in, w/the excuses:
"my grandmother died".
"my dog died"
and caller #2:
"i was in a car accident".
one day, i finally got ticked and said, "dang _______, how many grandmothers and dogs do you have????"
and to caller #2, "i think you need to reconsider driving lessons".
yeah, it gets old, no matter who the caller.
that said, considering the ratios of staff w/kids vs single, it is usually those w/kids, who need to call in.
and while it would be a very shrewd investment (on the part of the employer) to try and address childcare problems, it really has nothing to do w/having a heart.
i am always on time for work and luckily my daughter is not a sickly child because i will call in if she is too sick to be in daycare. the holiday thing is difficult, but we knew this when we decided to work bedside.
Facilities really should provide 24/7 on-site day care.
Parents could pay for the majority of it with a small employer contribution as part of their employee benefit package.
I'd be willing to bet that this would benefit employers financially in the long run. I think that call-offs, tardies, leaving early, etc. would go way down.
I do not have children, but I'd be willing to pay a small amount towards such programs. After all, "It takes a village...."
The entitlement card is in a lot of professions. I saw it a lot more when I had an office job than I do now. In my office job before nursing you would not believe the abuse of the system by woman either pregnant or that already had the children. "I have to leave early for a DR's appt" or I have to leave early because Johnny can't get off the bus or I have to come in late because I was up late doing Susie's homework! Goodness did that get old. My mother raised all 3 of us by herself and had a second job working evenings and her main job on night shift and she never was late. I can remember only a few times when it was a real emergency when she would come home early. I guess that is why I am not too empathetic with the entitlement card.
I have a coworker who comes in 15 minutes late every day. She has two small children and wasn't able to get them up, ready and to daycare without being chronically late. Manager reached the point of having to discipline her or make an exception for her. She chose that later.
I don't have a huge problem with it, but I wonder if she would have done the same for one of us childless nurses. I sort of doubt it. That is what bothers me.
I have personally had less of a problem with parents feeling entitlement than with management treating them differently.
Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.
I have 3 children and I have never been late for work and I do my holiday rotation just like everybody else. This week has been tough I've had a daughter w/ influ. A. It happened to be that she needed to be home and my husband had to be w/ his dad for quad bypass surg. I do not play the "ill child card" but sometimes things happen and you cannot make it work no matter what you do. She was ill again today and my hubby stayed home for awhile then I came home. We usually try to trade off if at all possible. My kids do not get to stay home unless they are contageous. If they are not running a fever, puking, shooting water out of their butts, or bleeding to death they will go to school.
I have felt terrible this week because I have to have others cover my shifts for me. However, I'm lucky because my coworkers will pick up extra and I would and will do the same in return for them. I don't think that people w/ children should be allowed more sick/holiday time than single people I think that's discriminatory but people w/out children can't understand what it is like to have an ill child and the struggle to stay home and care for that child or go to work. I don't want them spreading it around to others because more than likely those people will end up in the ED and make my life and my coworkers more challenging. Lord knows they would utilize the ED & not their dr. office!
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I get this all the time as a DON, usually half an hour before the start of any given shift: "I can't come to work because my daughter has a migraine". "I have to leave an hour early all week because Johnny got kicked off the bus and I have to pick him up at school." "I can't work Tuesday or Thursday evenings anymore because Mary's basketball games are on those nights.":icon_roll
Now, I raised FOUR kids, so it's not like I'm unsympathetic to parents......but good grief, it's like pulling teeth to get some people to understand that they have obligations to their patients, too. Folks get sick and need care, no matter what is going on at Johnny or Mary's school, what holiday or weekend it is, or what else is going on at home.
I'm pretty mellow as a boss, but if you call off for the same kid's migraines three or four times a month, I am NOT going to be happy with you, and it will come back to haunt you at your performance review. And as far as I'm concerned, my residents deserve care as much on school days, holidays, and weekends as any other time, and if you can't or won't do it, I'll find someone who can. End of story.
Specializes in Acute Hemodialysis, Cardiac, ICU, OR.
I'm on parents side. Bedside nursing sucks because of it's lack of flexability for working parents. How are you supposed to get day care on off shifts, weekends or doubles and especially for mandation? My daughter is a business professional and my niece is a CPA. Both of them working mothers who come in late and leave early and take sick time to be home with ill kids ALL THE TIME(their husbands too). They are off on Holidays, take their vacations in the summer and get unlimited sick time. Their companies are very supportive. In health care you are much more likely to work with people that complain about working parents. Kids are the future of our country, our world, parents have to work and need support. Please if you are a young mother considering nursing don't make the mistake of thinking nursing is a profession where it is EASIER to have husband, children, family. In my opinion it is not. ESPECIALLY if you have a spouse that works a traditional schedule. You won't know how it feels to be at work when everyone in family is sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner until you feel it in you own bones, same goes for being at work when kids are home opening Christmas presents. Both my daughter and my niece have husbands who work for companies that shut down week between Christmas and NY every year. Both my daughter and my niece request that week off and GET IT every year, could you see a nurse doing that. Rest assured if you go into bedside nursing it is most unlikely that you will be ever able to take vacation time around a major Holiday.
I believe you just gave the best answer yourself -- if the schedule for this career is not beneficial to your personal life, then it just may be that this career is not the right one for you. Or maybe it's just the specialty within the career -- there are THOUSANDS of opportunities within nursing that have THOUSANDS of work-hour permutations. But expecting others to routinely pick up where you fall short is not fair to anyone -- I understand sometimes things can't be helped, but habitual abusers need to look into another schedule, one that benefits them and does not cause them stress over "crap, I'm going to be late AGAIN." This is one of the joys of nursing -- the versatility!
Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?
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FireStarterRN, BSN, RN
3,824 Posts
I agree Leslie, I can think of a few people off the top of my head. They use up all their sick time, then when they get sick they want people to donate their sick time to them. One woman I have in mind is married, has family around, but has used up all her sick time nevertheless. Now she hurt her back is came crying to all her co-workers.