"I have kids! I need to come in late, need more sick time, etc."

[Plagueis]

I have a vent about coworkers who have kids playing the "Kid Card," by claiming that they have to come in late sometimes, need more sick time, or that it isn't as bad to call out, when compared to workers who don't have kids. Now, I have a child myself, but I have never felt that it entitled me to special treatment at work.

Lately, some coworkers have been calling out, coming late, or leaving work early. They claim that since they have kids, it's "expected" that this should happen, and that the NH should be more understanding, and that they should not be written-up. Also, they argue that they should get preference for holidays off over workers without kids. (I know this is a big concern around Christmas.) I feel that all workers should abide by the same attendance rules, and that nurses and CNAs who have kids should not, on that basis alone, be "allowed" to come to work late, or have more sick time. What do you all think?

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

facilities really should provide 24/7 on-site day care.

quote]

why? they didn't decide to become parents, nor are they a day care provider.

i am now a grandmother, but raised two boys as a nurse. like many of you, i worked odd shifts,etc. when my kids were young, and my husband and i shared childcare. healthcare depends on people being where they are supposed to be on time, or patients can die. of course, if something serious happened, my family came first, but they were never an "excuse".

having said that, i once worked with a nurse who was a single mom of a now adult daughter. she volunteered to work every christmas once her daughter was older, so that young mommies could be off with their children. said they worked for her when her daughter was a little girl, and she wanted to return the favor. that's giving back, not shifting the burden to childless and'or single nurses.:bowingpur:up:

[SharonH, RN]

When my children were small, I always worked PRN or very part-time. Later, my husband and I were fortunate to be able to work opposite shifts. Unfortunately everyone does not have that option. The fact is that children do get sick, they do need to be picked up from daycare/school and things unexpected do happen when you have children. I do not expect my co-workers to be burdened because of my home issues but it is a fact that these things happen and you just have to understand. Work will NEVER trump home. If all parents decided to not work because they can't guarantee that they will never be late or off due to childcare issues then there would be no one left to work so I guess we just have to suck it up. Unless it's habitual i.e a weekly issue then why not try to be a little understanding?

[NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN]

Sharon-

Your last sentence hits the nail on the head for me.

[MrsCaseyRN]

When my children were small, I always worked PRN or very part-time. Later, my husband and I were fortunate to be able to work opposite shifts. Unfortunately everyone does not have that option. The fact is that children do get sick, they do need to be picked up from daycare/school and things unexpected do happen when you have children. I do not expect my co-workers to be burdened because of my home issues but it is a fact that these things happen and you just have to understand. Work will NEVER trump home. If all parents decided to not work because they can't guarantee that they will never be late or off due to childcare issues then there would be no one left to work so I guess we just have to suck it up. Unless it's habitual i.e a weekly issue then why not try to be a little understanding?

Well Said!!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'm on parents side. Bedside nursing sucks because of it's lack of flexability for working parents. How are you supposed to get day care on off shifts, weekends or doubles and especially for mandation?........unlikely that you will be ever able to take vacation time around a major Holiday.

Post shortened for brevity.

I'm sympathetic to a point. It can't be easy having kids and being a nurse. But hospital and other nursing areas are not bankers hours, never have been bankers hours, and everyone knows this.

I just love when people are hired and then say "oh by the way, I can't come in at 6:45 because of my kids, and I have to leave early, and I have to go pump my breasts every two hours or I'll get mastitis, and I need every weekend off because my husband travels every weekend and I have no one to watch the kids, and I will not under any circumstances work Christmas....."

Life does happen with kids and parents have responsibilities. We have three people on my unit that can't make it in on time because of kids, and we allow this. Most of our night shift has to run off exactly on time or just before to get kids to school, often this means we day shifters pick up the slack. I've lost count over the years how many parents have unexpectedly had to leave for family issues, probably nearly weekly it happens, and it happens to them all, not just one. Nothing wrong with a little give and take.

But taking advantage of others with a sense of entitlement is irritating. As is the above mentioined waiting until you're hired on the floor before making your demands and needs known.

[italianrn07]

I personally do not have children (yet anyway) and I have the same crap going on at my work place. There is one nurse who consistently comes in 10 minutes late and makes excuses that she had to get her kids to daycare, etc. It's gotten so tolerated by management and other staff that she doesn't even make excuses anymore and all staff including me always comment "oh so and so is coming in today, so I'll be here later." I think this is unacceptable, especially since I bust my butt to get to work on time or early every time. I don't know what it is like to juggle kids and work, but if that is what you choose, then leave the house earlier or get up 10 minutes earlier each day. It is not fair to the rest of the staff.

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

And we wonder why nurses are not continuing in the profession.....

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

I have chosen to take a job that is M-F no weekends and holidays with a flexible work schedule. If kids( I have 2 under age 5) are sick then I use a sick day. My husband works out of town and no family to rely on in these situations. I could never go back to nights or weekends because of child care needs,etc.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

And we wonder why nurses are not continuing in the profession.....

Offer an opinion. Vague comments like that are ignored and really aren't helpful. Nurses are not continuing in the profession? Why? Elaborate, so we can understand. Thanks.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

It is a hard call, but I have to say that those with children should not get preference over those that do not. I happened to enjoy working the holidays when I was a techician working in psychiatry, only requesting New Year's Eve and my or my son's birthday (not during 'prime time'). But, if a person does have to take off, at least call within a respectable time so that a replacement can be found in order not to leave others short. There is nothing worse than suddenly being bombarded with extra patients because someone chose to leave early.

In my clinic, some of the nurses do have issues that come up with their children, maybe to pick them up, or take them to school. We basically worked it out with each other by either letting them go to lunch at a certain time to pick them up from school, or there are enough of us present in the mornings so that those that have to take kids to school can come in a bit late and it is not felt with the rest of us.

Not only do some of us have issues with children, but the ones that are going back to school. I am a proponent in people furthering their education if they choose. We do have to grow in our lives. However, there are some nurses whose choices to return back to school have really left the rest of us in a bind. There is one already selfish nurse that is pursuing her Master's degree. She closes the door in our clinic area to do school work, while the clinic is busting at the seams with patients who have already been waiting for hours to go home. She is oblivious to them, and does her assignments diligently. She refuses to work the late clinics because of the interference with her classes, however, she never tells anyone her class schedule. Some sneak out without telling anyone (dangerously early-some as early as 2 hours before their time to leave). Others want to switch shifts or hours with others. I have had to say 'no' to one nurse, because, while I understand her pursuit of education, that was HER choice...why should I be inconvienenced by switching hours for months at a time for a goal that I didn't commit to? Most of them do not make arrangements with management, they just expect us to understand. But, my feeling is that if you discuss this with the powers that be, maybe a solution can be made, such as sending another nurse in their place, or at least, if they okay it, we have to work around it.

[Sunflowerinsc, ADN, RN]

I think it is a little strange that people on this thread are mainly saying that they are late or call in because of kids sick, daycare ect. What is the patient doing for that 10-15 minuets you aren't there? Waiting for a pain medication, waiting to have help for the bedpan, ect. Ten minuets waiting for you to take your kids to school is a long time when you are in pain or needing help. Hospital nurses have to make a choice,not to not take care of their family but to make plans so they can do the job. Yes I have kids (grown now) and it took a lot of planning and help with schedules when they were little. And they knew Christmas would be on the day mama had off that year! They checked my schedule before I did. Now they are grown, I do work a lot of holidays so moms can be off but still the hospital is going to be open (LOL) and the pt's don't want to be sick either. So if you choose hospital nursing remember its 24/7 and nurses keep it going !

[Lisa CCU RN, RN]

To the posters who say that it is one's own choice to have kids and not their coworkers and their job, I think that is a little short sighted.

Someone has GOT to have kids or else the human population would die out!

People are gonna have kids and I personally don't see why most daycares close at 6:00 pm and are not open on weekends. What is the reason for this? Healthcare workers are no where near the only ones that work weird hours.

As far as being upset because you have to stay late, well, crap happens. I don't think it's a card to play. If the mother of a sick child left them at home and neglected them, they'd be in jail. If they send them to school, they will just get a call to come pick them up.

What do you expect them to do?