We have a Per Diem nurse 'Karen' who also is Per Diem at another hospital where I used to work. There's others from there and a lot of back and forth. Another coworker who also works both places let it slip to me that she thought Karen was now orienting at a 3rd nearby hospital. There's some of our nurses who work there as well, lots of openness, no restrictions from management at all.
So I sent a friendly text to Karen asking how she's doing, that I hadn't seen her in awhile. She said she's been really busy with her daughter's graduation. Mind you, she and I have been workplace friends. I later confirmed with a nurse that went to that 3rd hospital fulltime, staying Per Diem with us, that Karen has been there a lot orienting.
So, Karen is being secretive, which is ridiculous since nursing is a small world where it's going to all come out in the open anyways. No one would ever bat an eye about her picking up another job since there've been fewer of the day shifts that Karen likes available lately.
I can't blame her for being secretive about working other places. Sometimes there is a conflict of interest in working for another competing hospital and a potential of losing one's job.
Sorry, you’re kind of on the wrong side of this one. Not telling coworkers about other jobs isn’t being “secretive,” even if they have a friendly texting relationship. Just like it wouldn’t be secretive if they led their kids scout troop and never mentioned it to their coworkers. Or had an Etsy shop or took baking classes.
You’re allowed to have as many jobs as you want, as long as you’re fulfilling the requirements for the jobs. And if you don’t, then you’ll be let go. And that’s no one else’s problem.
Your thought process regarding Karen’s activity appears to be rather entitled, intrusive, and immature. Sounds just like the kind of thing that uses splitting to passively-aggressively control others at work and cause bullying among peers. It might do you some good to find someone professional with whom to discuss your feelings about it besides an open forum behind Karen’s back. Just a thought.
Meh, this is just one of Emergent's random musings that almost always ups the entertainment value of AN. She's right, it had gotten rather dull...and now it isn't. You be you Emergent! ?
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
8 hours ago, klone said:
*discreet
Okay. But my point is not that Emergent is making some kind of grammar error, but that she is processing the situation in an inappropriate way.
Karen isn't hiding something. She's choosing not to share something (appropriately). It isn't need to know info for Emergent and the relationship does not require that kind of sharing to take place.
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I have not read all the replies, so forgive me if I am repetitive.
I don't think there is any big mystery here. She doesn't want to talk about it with you or others, so she chooses to keep it to herself. That isn't secretive. It just...is. I am not particularly flamboyant about my lifestyle choices when I am at work. It isn't that I have a secret to keep. Its just that I am a reserved individual who is not overly gregarious and don't find my business to be of much interest to anyone but me. I would likely not share it if I worked a second or third job. If someone decided to invent nefarious purposes or titillating interest out of finding out because I chose not to share that, I would wonder why they are so worried about it and be a bit amused at the boredom that must be required to find something so mundane and twist it into something interesting. ?
The reason she is being secretive is because she doesn't feel like sharing it. That is her prerogative. Someone asked me the other day if I had kids. I said "no" and sometimes patients will ask such things. Are you married? etc. I know people are curious or just being nice. But, I don't really want to share my personal life. The last visitor I told, " well, ya know, I just don't really like to talk about it". They were ok with that. I don't visit when I am working. I work, but I do see nurses hanging around each other and talking some. Don't know how they do that since I am busy all the time and if I wasn't busy I am not visiting then either. There is always always work to do.
It's none of your business. Karen is right to be secretive, look at this thread. You were so bothered by not knowing her business that you needed a whole thread to understand it.
Not everything is about you knowing. Mind your business is the lesson here.
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zoidberg, BSN, RN
301 Posts
This thread alone is a valid reason of why one may keep things to one self. ?