Nurse dates doctor openly at work.

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What do you think about a nurse who dates the doctors she works with. We have a nurse in our unit that is doing that. It is quite embarrasing when relatives of the patients are asking how long they have married. When doctor is actualy married to someone else. Our unit has brought this to the attention of the unit manager, but she does not share our concerns. Is this right.

The guy's married? He's a scumbag for dating a nurse, or anyone else for that matter. I've seen it too and immediately I lose all respect for the nurse and the doc. It makes me sick.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
There should be some rules of conduct for everyone, regardless of married to one another or not. After all, the hospital is not a bar.

YES!:nono:

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.
The patients may ask how long they've been married simply because when they make rounds, they are so comfortable with each other- no big deal unless they're making out in the patient rooms or something. I had a patient ask if an orderly and I were married...there was nothing going on between us, but we'd worked together so long and had a good friendship so we probably acted like an old married couple sometimes.

I've been working in a hospital for 30 years, good buddies with most of the docs, and many other nurses are as well. Patients have never asked such a question. The patients always makes it their business to know if their doctor is married or not.

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It's nobody's business unless it compromises patient's care and as long as they are not making out or having fights on the unit.

Moral judgements are not needed... :nono: I would stay out of it!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Apparently places either don't have a Code Of Conduct or many are not aware of it.

Best check your HR depts for Code Of Conduct policies, those who say "no big deal, none of my business". When this stuff is brought to the work place, it IS our business....and can even create an hostile work environment in some cases. It should not be our business, so it should NOT be made apparent at work.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

And as for the doctor being married to soemone else, yes he's a scumbag, but the nurse sure as heck isn't any better for KNOWINGLY dating a married man!

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Specializes in NICU.
Hospitals are sometimes hotbeds of romance, an sometimes equal mix of coding and cuddling. Patients fall in love with their nurses, nurses fall in love with physicians, and many physicians stay in love with themselves!

Thank goodness I'm at work - thus dehydrated. Otherwise I'd have peed my pants laughing!!!

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I think we're looking at this story about a nurse dating a married doc too much from one side. The information is also one-sided, none of us knows all the circumstances.

I for one, before passing judgment would like to know all the circumstances. What has led this married doc to dating with this nurse?

Perhaps his wife is a complete b*tch and he intends to leave somewhere in the near future and he is more happy with this nurse than with his wife.

If such were the case, than I for one, would condone or approve their relationship and simply let them be.

I think that it is not wise to judge others unless you know all the circumstances which led to this relationship.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
Apparently places either don't have a Code Of Conduct or many are not aware of it.

Best check your HR depts for Code Of Conduct policies, those who say "no big deal, none of my business". When this stuff is brought to the work place, it IS our business....and can even create an hostile work environment in some cases. It should not be our business, so it should NOT be made apparent at work.

You might be reading more into than some of us as to how they are presenting their relationship. The op really doesn't say how the behavior is manifested. Are they just friendly to the point people think they might be a couple? Or are they giving sloppy kisses and pawing all over each other?

Is your main objection the behavior, which we don't really have much details of, or is it the fact that one is married?

Couples hook up occasionally where they work. We had two CNAs spark a romance, and were fairly upfront about it, arriving to work together, having lunch together, studying on breaks together, etc. No unprofessional behavior whatsoever. If one of them had been married, I still don't really see how it would have been a "problem", other than with some of our morality. So in one respect I disagree with your statement "when it's brought to the workplace it is our business."

A doc sparked a friendship with one of the nurses in ICU, both are married, and then hired her as his personal nurse. All they did was talk, and occasionally joke and have fun with their job as they made rounds on their patients, and boy the tongues were wagging "you'd think they're having an affair, it's disgusting how they flaunt it". I distinctly remember one patient asking me if they were married. Rumors are not nice.

However, I agree there should be codes of conduct. There isn't enough information right now for me to judge.

I firmly believe in direct confrontation rather than gossiping and running behind someone's back. First confront the nurse and/or doctor. Perhaps they will stop and everything will go back to normal.

I guess we have to find out, other than having an affair with the married doc, how are they behaving?

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

If it doesn't have a negative effect on patient care then I would ignore it. I am definitely a live and let live kind of person. These kinds of things tend to rear up and bite all involved on the orifice eventually. If it did impact patient care then I would report it up the chain of command. It is then the duty of the supervisor to act on it.

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Have occasionally run into this situation. It is first time I heard of the person involved talking about it openly. Is this person a dingbat or something? Usually it is a big secret.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
You might be reading more into than some of us as to how they are presenting their relationship. The op really doesn't say how the behavior is manifested. Are they just friendly to the point people think they might be a couple? Or are they giving sloppy kisses and pawing all over each other?

Is your main objection the behavior, which we don't really have much details of, or is it the fact that one is married?

Couples hook up occasionally where they work. We had two CNAs spark a romance, and were fairly upfront about it, arriving to work together, having lunch together, studying on breaks together, etc. No unprofessional behavior whatsoever. If one of them had been married, I still don't really see how it would have been a "problem", other than with some of our morality. So in one respect I disagree with your statement "when it's brought to the workplace it is our business."

A doc sparked a friendship with one of the nurses in ICU, both are married, and then hired her as his personal nurse. All they did was talk, and occasionally joke and have fun with their job as they made rounds on their patients, and boy the tongues were wagging "you'd think they're having an affair, it's disgusting how they flaunt it". I distinctly remember one patient asking me if they were married. Rumors are not nice.

However, I agree there should be codes of conduct. There isn't enough information right now for me to judge.

I firmly believe in direct confrontation rather than gossiping and running behind someone's back. First confront the nurse and/or doctor. Perhaps they will stop and everything will go back to normal.

I guess we have to find out, other than having an affair with the married doc, how are they behaving?

If patients are noticing this, there is a clue and problem right there. And if patients notice, so do staff; how should they (staff) feel, one of their dr's having an affair with a coworker???? And if there is no affair, they need to tone down their behavior. Appearances DO matter in the workplace, whether we like it or not. Behaving unprofessionally is very disruptive, to say the least. It can be a morale-buster in the worst case. It's something no nurse manager ought ignore.

I have been through this twice before with coworkers having affairs with married doctors (in both cases all parties were married to other people). Now, Tweety, you know, I am not the moral police but..... Both times were disgustingly open and very disruptive and not to mention, had the gossip mills going for months and in one case, years now.

In one case, it nearly tore up our unit cohesion. It was very hard to work with this nurse and doctor in any capacity. Managers simply turned the other way. I want to know, why should our cohesion as a unit, and our professional ability to do our jobs with a minimum of "office drama" be sacrificed for anyone's LOVE LIFE????

You are all right in this: What people do in their spare time should be none of my business. I do NOT want to know about your love life as a coworker---unless you are a friend confiding in me. Certainly, my patients need not know, nor worry it. That is my concern here.

One more concern: it's almost always the NURSE who is sanctioned or even canned over stuff like this. This nurse needs to watch her Ps and Qs if she likes her job. That fact alone, bugs me as much as the affair would. Another reason managers need to be involved and informed here. This nurse might want to watch her back.

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