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What do you think about a nurse who dates the doctors she works with. We have a nurse in our unit that is doing that. It is quite embarrasing when relatives of the patients are asking how long they have married. When doctor is actualy married to someone else. Our unit has brought this to the attention of the unit manager, but she does not share our concerns. Is this right.
The cheater and the cheatee are unethical in their behavior. I would probably not say anything BUT it would cause me to question their integrity in other areas......
Happened where I worked previously and there were unsavory things in his and her professional practice as well.....won't go into details so as not to ID situation.
Workplace relationships should never happen, if they do then one should leave and work elsewhere. Thats the way I was taught in the old days by my instructors. and I still feel thats good advice for all.
I find this statement disturbing and unrealistic. I am personally aware of three very happy marriages that began as workplace relationships (one of them being my own marriage). In none of those cases did anyone allow the situation to bleed over into work hours. I wouldn't even hold my now-husband's hand when we were walking through the workplace parking lot together! While we were both looking for other employment opportunities at the time, such options were hard to find because we lived in a rural area at the time. We behaved professionally while at work; it was no one's business but our own what we did during our free time.
The fact is, Americans work extremely long hours and have fewer and fewer undivided off-hours to spend with friends and family. Those hours and the changing state of our national economy mean enormous numbers of people are having to move to follow jobs and as a result, their ties to sources of social opportunities like family, longtime friends, places of worship, etc., are weakening. The workplace is one place where Americans still actually have a chance to see and get to know others; it's only natural that some romances will develop as a result.
The idea of a married individual dating a married or unmarried coworker is disgusting to me, at least under the vast majority of circumstances. However, it isn't my job or an employer's job to enforce morality. Obviously, there are some employers who have the right to enforce adherence to certain moral standards (for instances, religious organizations and schools and charitable organizations directly affiliated with them), but otherwise it isn't really the business of management or coworkers unless the relationship is affecting the two individuals' job performance. Rather than forbidding all workplace relationships, it seems more effective and appropriate to enforce firm rules about actual workplace behaviors. Inappropriate touching, snuggling, etc., have no place in the workplace. On the other hand, rampant gossip probably shouldn't have a place there either. From the OP's posts, which were rather limited in detail, it seems unclear whether an affair was actually happening.
I normally don't care, unless people are flaunting it.
...and if the pt's know - someone is flaunting it.
Now, if one of them is married, I definitely don't want to know.
I don't want to develop a bad opinion of anyone, because I do think that sort of behavior is disgusting.
We used to have this girl who practically fawned all over our young Rad doc. He was goodlooking, don't get me wrong. However, he was married...with small kids at home. It was ridiculous. Everytime she came into the room while I was speaking to him, I'd make a hasty exit. I didn't want to be a witness.
I mean, I've been in situations where the dude wh*red around with anything moving. His wife would come into the hospital all the time. We were on friendly terms. She had a Mary K party. Invited me. This is a military hospital so you tend to get to know spouses. You tend to get close to the folks you're stationed with, too. It's like familt.
I knew who the cheaters were.
The one wife and I hung out a few times. It was hard to keep my mouth shut.
Personally, I'd want someone to tell me. But - I just had to keep telling myself, "It's not your business. Stay out of it." Plus, she might be the type who develops a totally weird reaction to the news, i.e., believing that I was trying to get closed in order to 'steal her man'.
Stranger things have happened.
I did drop hints. It was the best I could do. I led her to the 'water'. Yet, I could not make her 'drink'.
I had a relationship with someone in upper-management, too. We dated for a year. No one knew. No one. We treated each other normally at work. No googley-eyes. No emotional arguments. No crying fits. No sneaking kisses.
Work is work.
People have to learn how to keep their personal lives personal. It's not that hard to do.
RNTwin
90 Posts
everybody has needs...if they are not harming or causing patients to recieve sub-par care it's none of your business. let them do whatever they want...I know many MDs screwing nurses but as long as patients care is not harmed, leave it alone... and yes i'm happily married