Nurse dates doctor openly at work.

Nursetobejmm · Mar 20, 2006

What a scum bag, some one needs to inform his wife even if it is anyonmous.

LeahJet, ASN, RN · Mar 20, 2006

Even though situations like these are nauseating to look at sometimes, when I am around these pathetic displays I just keep my mouth shut and mind my business.

Fate has a way of taking a much harder bite in the butt than any silly administration or management. :lol2:

Warpster · Mar 20, 2006

Been there, seen that, and as long as it doesn't become a problem with the job that either one of them is doing, I look the other way.

Nobody appointed me judge or jury and I'm certainly not the morality police. If that doc wants to ruin his marriage and that nurse wants to be branded as a homwrecker and a co respondent in a tacky divorce, that's their problem.

However, if it becomes a problem at work (like the two of them appropriating an empty room during working hours), then a quick call to the house officer and another one to human resources are in order, followed by an incident report.

Been there, seen that one too, done that.

lilbunrn · Mar 21, 2006

I am an RN and my husbad is a MD in the same facility. We treat each other just like any other staff memeber. However many patients have asked me how long we have been married, because my coworkers feel the need to tell pts and families about our personal lives. Also our facility requires last names on name badges, and ours is pretty unique, so it is easy to comprehend some sort of relationship on that info alone. I find that my coworkers often times are the inappropriate ones not us. It was never an issue any place else we worked only here.

DebbieSue · Mar 21, 2006

Stuff like that is nobody else's business, but it always generates lots of gossip and outrage. And gets everyone riled up. That's what causes the problems.

Let's face it, we get pretty close to people we've worked with for years. You don't want your friends to get hurt or to do stupid things. People messing around, innocently or not, have to work to keep it private if they don't want to have to answer to friends. It's not as though its realistic to expect people who have been working along side you during years of dating, marriage, pregnancy, kids, deaths in families, etc., etc. to just suddenly butt out of your life because you want them to.

I disagree totally, though, with the HR thing unless their performance at work is impaired. And a sense of generalized moral outrage and furious gossip in the unit is not the same as their work being impaired....it probably DOES impair the work of the morally outraged, however.....

Racell · Jul 8, 2006

well for me there's actually nothing wrong with a doctor and a nurse dating each other. As long as neither of them is married...then why not?

ortess1971 · Jul 8, 2006

There are so many things in hospitals to be concerned about--poor staffing, horrible working conditions, etc that I just cannot see why people would worry about this. That is unless it is compromising patient care.
What concerns me the most is that in your post you dont mention what type of nurse she is. Good, bad? Isnt that what is really important?
I doubt you or your co-workers know the entire situation. Maybe the doctor and his wife are separated. Unless they are being really unprofessional about it like making out at the desk, I dont see where it is anyone's business but their own. If they do make it other's business, simply tell them you would rather not be involved. Either way I wouldnt judge. If two people are really happy in this day and time, I say more power to them.

:yeahthat: As long as they are not indulging in PDA on the floor, it's really only their business(and the wife too). If we all were subject to scrutiny-how many of our private lives would pass without a blemish? Also, I have had friends that have "open" marriages. While personally, I don't think that's a good idea, the fact remains that it is their decision to live that way. And if this wife doesn't know(yet)-trust me the poop will hit the fan eventually without any help from the gossip hens at the workplace. Are people really surprised by this, just out of curiousity? The exception to the rule is the doctor that hasn't cheated at least once. Heck, most of them have small harems going....

rpv_rn · Jul 8, 2006

i always take the stairs. one time a surgeon & circ nurse were smooching in the stairway. they immediately stopped when they saw me. both are married to other people.

i know peeps who know the surgeon socially. i have never said anything to any one (until this post).

my philosophy is that "what goes around will come around." it was none of my business. it's their conscious, not mine.

:stone

sfaoldguy · Jul 8, 2006

If this was any other industry, I would mind my own business. I have seen quite a few married and dating couples work together and in every single case, there were days when their fighting over personal issues poored over into the work place. In this industry, that kind of distraction can lead to someones death. Leaving a bad morning with the spouse at home is much easier when you do not work with them.

Just my thaughts...

CaseManager1947 · Jul 9, 2006

Well here goes--

People in all work environments and career fields have been having affairs and doing stupid stuff like this for years!! People, this is nothing new. Yes it is unprofessional and inappropriate. But, unless it causes patients to come to harm, creates malpractice, or violates Hospital Policy, then its likely not going to be addressed. When things become our business is if: 1.) Dr. is having affair with patient 2) Nurse is having affair with patient. I know of 3 cases in our community where physicians had intimate relationships with either patients or family members of patients. In one case, the physician divorced his wife, and married the lady who was the mother of his patient ( a minor child). One case resulted in criminal prosecution and loss of medical license, the third case the physician lost his appointment as medical director of the NICU, and moved out of state. Should the spouse be told by someone who knows? No, not for us to do. As others have said, there are probably lots of things that are unknown to those outside of the situation. Both parties are guilty of moral weaknesses and poor judgement in the workplace; I suspect this will run the natural course of other illicit affairs, and die a natural death. Although one other case does come to mind that happened here in our town. There were two doctors having an affair (didn't come out till someone was murdered). Husband of the female doc came home and shot and killed her then himself. The male doc who was apparently having an affair with her then tried to kill himself, and went away for psych treatment. He's back , and doing just fine! I think his wife divorced him, though. So, folks a little life lesson in infidelity.

Morghan

banditrn · Jul 9, 2006

We had a situation very much like that at our hospital a few years ago. The doc was married, the nurse was dating a male nurse that also worked there.

The doc got stupid over it - his wife divorced him - the doc threatened the nurse's boyfriend - the nurse decided not to go with the doc - he started acting crazy, etc., etc.

The situation provided much entertainment for awhile. The hospital started sending everyone memos on 'professional behavior'.

Like others here have said, it's best to keep your nose out of it - if you're aware of the situation, then the 'powers that be' probably are too.

coral_cosmo · Jan 30, 2007

Castle -

I know that this relationship between this nurse and a doctor may be uncomfortable, but by trying to intervene, you become part of the problem yourself. It really isn't anyone's business what these two do. Why create unnecessary stress for yourself and your coworkers by making a big deal out of this. Your manager has done the right thing by not intervening - Just do your job and forget about these two. Unless you are this doctor's wife, stay out of it. These two have to figure things out for themself.