Nurse dates doctor openly at work.

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What do you think about a nurse who dates the doctors she works with. We have a nurse in our unit that is doing that. It is quite embarrasing when relatives of the patients are asking how long they have married. When doctor is actualy married to someone else. Our unit has brought this to the attention of the unit manager, but she does not share our concerns. Is this right.

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Even when people talk about others private lives in the report room,l get up- and leave. I don't want to hear it and I don't want to share.

Me too.

As hard as it may be for some of my co-workers to believe, i really don't care to hear about how much they love getting a Brazillian wax or the dimension's of their husband's member (this was the conversation i left the room for LAST wednesday. I was TRYING to eat my food :stone).

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Frogive me for asking but I am wondering if you might be just a bit jealous of the couple and their happiness.

They are sinning and God WILL punish them if they do not cease and desist. God will not be mocked. The key, though, is that GOD will deal with them.

The best thing you can do is keep out of it. If patients ask you about them, just refer them to the COUPLE. How are you supposed to know their business?

As I said, keep out of it if you want to avoid trouble. It's really not your business, unless you want to pray for them silently.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Frogive me for asking but I am wondering if you might be just a bit jealous of the couple and their happiness.

Nothing in the OP indicated any jealousy. The fact that pts. were asking about the relationship has nothing to do with someone else's jealousy.

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It might, Marie.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

It doesn't until it was presented or even indicated in the OP, which it wasn't.

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I just got out of the military where adultery is a punishable crime. I only hope that although it is morally wrong to do this, a hospital cannot take action for this between to consenting adults. The patients should not be made aware of any personal business between any dating workers, whether one is married or not. That is the only problem I have with it. Does anybody really know what is going on in the home of this doctor? Maybe his wife is doing the same...maybe there is some sort of weird agreement betrween them concerning this. Who knows? But I definitely agree that patients should never know about anything personal with those who care for them, that is very unprofessional.

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Specializes in ER, NICU, NSY and some other stuff.

I worked in a small closed unit where one of the nurses and an RT developed a relationship. How long it went on, don't know, don't care. There came a point when it became glaringy obvious that something was going on. Both of these individuals were married to OTHER people. It came to a point where there was touching and whispering going on in the unit. EVERYONE else became extremely uncomfortable. There was no where to go to avoid being around it. No one said anything to each other or the involved for a long time. It finally came to head one day when the nurse did not arrive home on time and her husband called wanting to know if she had been held over AGAIN.(this had never happened) Of course the shift repported to him that she had left the same time as everyone else. The nurse quit, filed a sexual harrassment suit against the other party. Nearly everyone got supeoned to give a depostition. It was ugly all the way around and it was made our business whether we wanted it to be or not.

You can say it is nobodies business all you want, but that may not be so true.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

My only advice to the situation is NOT calling his wife, that is one can of worms that I personally would not want to open. If this is affecting the workplace than take it to HR and keep it "business", let him deal with his wife and their personal issues on his own.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.

Doctors who continually cheat on their wives need to be castrated

Nurse or anyone who gets involved with a married Doctor must have a very low self esteem issue to begin with.

Yes call his wife. Personally I would fear my wifes wrath more than anything that could come from HR. Not that I would ever be that stupid to do anything like that anyway

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
Nearly everyone got supeoned to give a depostition. It was ugly all the way around and it was made our business whether we wanted it to be or not.

You can say it is nobodies business all you want, but that may not be so true.

I guess that is an example of what Deb was talking about. (Although work still might not have been "unbearable")

Let me get this straight. She openly cheated on her husband with this man, lied to him about working late, and then has the nerve to file a suit against the man she was committing adultry with and you had to testify?

Obviously she's demented.

One thing I noticed in your post was that no one said anything. Why? If it was so uncomfortable for EVERYONE why couldn't someone confront one or the both of them and say so? I'm certainly not for butting into someone's business, but if someone is making me uncomfortable with their behavior, shame on me for not speaking up for myself. I become part of the problem.

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Specializes in ER, NICU, NSY and some other stuff.

Yes Tweety you got it right.

I think initally none of said anything. We did not discuss it even amongst ourselves. Finally one day I looked at another coworker and sked her "Are you as uncomfortable as I am?" She responded "I thought I was the only one."

One of the nurses who was closer to her tried to take her aside regarding this and she poo-pooed it. She stated that nothing was going on etc....

It was only a short period of time from there to blowout.

As near as we all could tell that was her way of covering things with her husband. the old "It wasn't my fault" defense.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Yes, see, what Lisa said/described is the same sort of ugliness we were subjected to in the first case I spoke of. It was ridiculous and beyond disruptive. MYOB was impossible......they were flagrant. And it was so dang unfair to rest of us who were just there to do our jobs in the best way we could. This sort of thing really also imperils trust in these people on the parts of coworkers

And yea Tweety it was rather "unbearable".... we were dealing with an abusive and snooty coworker whom no one felt they could touch and dr who was mentally "off the spool". Seeing as it was the only hospital in a rather wide radius in a rural area, employment pickings were slim for most of us......

Now, in the 2nd case, the two involved people simply dumped and divorced their spouses and married each other. It lasted all of 2 years maybe.....surprise.

The employee is gone....on to other pursuits.....

The dr still around and on to the next fiance.

Disruptive, much????

Indeed. Being a silent "myob" witness to this stuff does not mean you won't get dragged into the ugliness of a messy divorce proceeding, as Lisa illustrated. Plus, there is still that pesky issue of workplace hostility. I am sure HR would not want this charge brought before them....

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