Not having kids until 35

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What's the difference between a man having kids at 35 and a woman? I know there's a cut off point for a woman where it will be harder on having children because of menopause and things alike but what about a guy? Eventually our sperm production decreases no?

I'm asking because from the looks of it, I don't want children until my mid 30s at least (I am 23 now). I just have a lot of goals I want to achieve. Becoming a Nurse is one of them. After that, I want to start saving up for business opportunities (owning rental properties/homes and other things that I will leave out but giving you an example).

RIght now I'm working on my ADN, hoping to start the program in the upcoming Spring semester and finish by the end of 2017 or mid 2018 the latest. Then immediately afterwards work on my BSN part-time, while working as a Nurse at the hospital I'm already working in as a Ward Clerk.

EDIT: I should probably just google this

Specializes in Neuro.

My father was 50 when he had me & 52 when he had my younger brother. He had aged well and as I recall was never mistaken as my grandfather, although that is not always the case for many men, he just won the genetic lottery and aged well. Point is my brother & I are just as healthy & intelligent as my older siblings who my father had in his early 20's. As a man, you do not share the same biological timeclock as women.

With that said, I both loved having an older father and also at times wished he was a younger father. By the time I came around, he was aging, didn't want to camp, hunt, fish, vacation like he often did when he was a young father. I missed out on those bonding experiences, however, I feel he cultured me and gave me a greater appreciation of a generation past I would've never appreciated with a younger father. Seriously, what generation X-ers sat and watched John Wayne movies with their dads or listened to him tell his recollections of the very real discrimination he experienced as young man in the 1940's-1950's?

Taking my personal experience out of it, as an older father, there are pros and cons. You just have to be mindful of your significant others biological clock, time is not always as kind to us ladies.

I had my first child at 28 and will have my second in just a few months, at the young age of 30. I'm beyond happy we waited. Sometimes we look back and think what if we had them sooner.. Then we remember just how poor we were and how immature my hubby was. It would have been a disaster and frankly not fair to the children. Everyone is different. If you wait until all of the stars are in line you will NEVER have kids. However, if you are living in your parents basement, earning minumum wage, and in the starts of nursing school - the time is prob. not the best. Health wise I know just as many "young" people under 30 have have infertility issues and health issues as those who are older. In fact I have a friend who is in her 40's who is trying IVF now and a friend who is in her mid twenties (who had twins w/out fertility issues when she was 19) who is also considering IVF. There is no "better" plan for us all.

Specializes in Allergy/ENT, Occ Health, LTC/Skilled.
Fertility services can be quite expensive, not to mention unsuccessful. I agree that there are benefits to waiting. In fact, I am one of the "waiters". That being said, people need to be realistic about their biology. If having kids is very important to an individual, it's best not to wait until the 30's ...especially mid to late 30's and especially for females. It could work out OK, but there's a high probability that it won't. Walk into any fertility specialist's office and look around. It's full of women with established careers who have seen the world.

Yes fertility can be expensive and unsuccessful. But I will say I have known quite a few couples who have undergone IVF/IUI and only one couple never gave birth to a bio child. I see women all the time in their mid 30's to early 40's with newborns so I would say it's certainly not the trend that a woman will experience issues if she waits.

Now, that said, if you have GYN issues and you know early on, like PCOS or Endo, then yes I wouldn't wait either. Being realistic is a must but assuming that you will be barren the moment you hit 35 isn't necessary either. With this generation coming on up however, lets hope biology catches up with societal trends, because these kids in my college classes can hardly make themselves sandwich, let alone take care of another human being!

Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.
((((((Hippie))))))

I'm so sorry. [emoji17]

Thanks. :) It's been a long, painful month. Nothing seemed to happen at once and the ectopic was unexpected. Just glad to have everything out and for my HCG to continuously be going down now.

Specializes in critical care.
Thanks. :) It's been a long, painful month. Nothing seemed to happen at once and the ectopic was unexpected. Just glad to have everything out and for my HCG to continuously be going down now.

I'll be crossing everything for you! I'll wear green for you the day of insems if you share the date when it comes. [emoji4][emoji177]

Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

Y'all worry too much. The OP will be fine getting down to child-rearing at 35. Isn't it well-regarded that children of older parents do generally better in school and are more successful in life, because their parents had the financial and emotional stability to raise them?

Anecdotally, it's normal in my social circles for people to not get serious about raising kids until they're well into their 30s (Think well educated, healthy professionals of various types- healthcare, tech, research). We all got married in our late 20s/early 30s, all just bought houses, so kids on that timeline will come mid-to-late 30s. I know a few professors who got pregnant on the door of 40 with few issues. Their children are all healthy and hitting their developmental milestones.

I think this is a trend we'll see continue, as education requirements and adulthood are pushed further back.

I had a wonderful 10year career in law enforcement and had enrolled in nursing school when I was pregnant at 39. Gave birth to a wonderful healthy baby boy followed by two miscarriages. I had my daughter at 41 and graduated from nursing school. I am so glad that I had followed by first career goals before having children and my only regret would be that if I had been younger, I would have had more children. There are pro and cons from both sides. As an older mom, I had way more patience than I would have had when I was younger.

Specializes in ICU.

Oh my, opening a can of worms aren't we? Have kids whenever you want. You have tons of sperm, women have a limited amount of eggs that age. This is 2015 and there are women in their 50s having kids. This is not something to worry about at 23.

What's the difference between a man having kids at 35 and a woman? I know there's a cut off point for a woman where it will be harder on having children because of menopause and things alike but what about a guy? Eventually our sperm production decreases no?

No

With drugs like Cialis you can wait till your 60 or 70 to have kids

I suggest wait till your in your mid 40 then go find a young college girl to marry.....

Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.

I didn't meet my husband until I was 35. I had the first one just after my 37th birthday and the second just before my 40th. I am glad I had them when I did. I had not trouble "running after" toddlers in my 40s or keeping up with teens in my early 50s. You are as old as you feel. I am healthy and take care of myself. I see parents 20 years younger than I am that are less fit. Every situation is different.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Just beware (regarding fertility testing) that things can look great on paper, but not actually be great... I speak from personal experience.

I know.

I also have had examinations and ultrasounds because I had a medical event where I didn't think I could have children-the prelims say yes, and for now I am OK with that. :yes:

As a 33 year old woman, I have a different perspective to give you here, I am single, never been married and I have no prospects. I know from personal experience that 10 years ago my goals were completely different than they are now. At that age I wanted kids and marriage and all that. 10 years later here I am single, I want to get married, but low and behold I no longer want children and there are a many reasons for that but that is for another time. At this age don't worry about those things, your life will happen as it should while you are making plans life will most likely change those on you. So what I say is that yes 35 is the age when pregnancies are considered more high risk. I say don't worry about that now, in the blink of an eye you will be 30, I know it feels like just yesterday that I was my self 23, I have grown so much, my thinking, maturity level. You just don't understand that the person you are now is not gonna resemble you in the next 10 years. Just live your life and yes by all means accomplish your career goals but don't worry so much about having kids. Youth is so short, and only life knows what it will bring. So just enjoy being young and when you hit 30 look and see what you think at that time. Enjoy your 20's they will be gone in an instant.

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