Not having kids until 35

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What's the difference between a man having kids at 35 and a woman? I know there's a cut off point for a woman where it will be harder on having children because of menopause and things alike but what about a guy? Eventually our sperm production decreases no?

I'm asking because from the looks of it, I don't want children until my mid 30s at least (I am 23 now). I just have a lot of goals I want to achieve. Becoming a Nurse is one of them. After that, I want to start saving up for business opportunities (owning rental properties/homes and other things that I will leave out but giving you an example).

RIght now I'm working on my ADN, hoping to start the program in the upcoming Spring semester and finish by the end of 2017 or mid 2018 the latest. Then immediately afterwards work on my BSN part-time, while working as a Nurse at the hospital I'm already working in as a Ward Clerk.

EDIT: I should probably just google this

she had you past 35 then....35 isnt old or wont make you the "old parent"....especially now days when so many people are having kids later and later. LOTS of people have babies in their mid thirties

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.

I was 30 years old when my first child, a boy, was born. We had already been married for 9 years. Now he is a 13 year old boy scout and both of my kids love camping. As a result of a shortage of volunteers I now find myself the Scoutmaster.

Let me tell you, sleeping on the ground in a tent (19 nights so far in 2015 and a "Winter" camp out in January in WISCONSIN is planned) is harder at age 44 that it would have been at 35.

Think about that.

Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.

Guys can have children until three days after they die (though I don't suggest you wait that long).

Although health risks increase with age, you have to also take into account the socioeconomic benefits to having children later in life. An older couple is more likely to have it together (financial stability, career established, emotionally developed...) than a young couple straight out of high school/college. An older couple is more likely to have done the things they have always wanted to do such as travel, pursue a certain job/career/goal and thus will have likely experience less feelings of regret or remorse after becoming parents.

That being said, I find this to be all relative to geography and social circles. I am "only" twenty-four and I work with a poor, underserved patient population. They are oftentimes shocked to come across someone who is already approaching mid-twenties with no children or partner in sight as teen pregnancy and marriage/long-term relationships are the norm in their social group. In highly educated and wealthy populations, however, a single twenty-something with zero kids would be the norm, not the exception.

I have also found that a child with college-educated and career-oriented parents is far more likely to put off childbearing years than the child of couple who didn't go to college or pursue careers. My mother had her children at 29, 34, and 36 after she went to college and established a very successful career. She is the only one of her parents seven children to do so. And guess what? None of my cousins have college degrees or careers and they all had children fairly young. My brothers and I either have or are in the process of receiving degrees and there are no babies in sight.

There are so many positives to waiting that, in my opinion, outweigh the relatively small chances of having a baby at 36 born with birth defects.

I think this question has been discussed, debated and argued to death already :dead:

My only advice would be to consider the difference in age between yourself and your kid(s) as they grow up. Your job, as a parent, only gets harder as you get older. And while a healthy lifestyle can help mitigate that to a point, you'll never be as full of energy and able to adapt/cope as you are now. You might not think much of raising a infant in your late thirties but that means a toddler a few years later, a tween while fifty is just around the corner and dealing with full on teenage angst while you're thinking about retirement. Is it doable? I believe so. But think about it carefully.

Also, there's the generational gap to consider. You'll be looking at 35+ years of difference. That is an entire generation. Will you be able to relate to your kid? Will they be able to relate to you?

Food for thoughts...

Dany

No

With drugs like Cialis you can wait till your 60 or 70 to have kids

I suggest wait till your in your mid 40 then go find a young college girl to marry.....

When I first read this post, it was on my screen with author not visible. But I didn't even have to look at it to know who posted this drivel.

Im 26 now, no kids yet. I want to finish school first, get married and get on our feet before having children by that time ill be around 35

If i have to be the "old grandma" at school events so be it as long as my kids are happy, healthy and our family is financially stable ill take it.

But it is always in the back of my head that my clock is ticking away but i feel at age 35 ill be mentally prepared for kids and have more patience after becoming a nurse. Heres to high hopes! :up:

I was 29 and 32 when I had my kids. We were nowhere NEAR in the "old" category when compared to the other parents. In fact, we were completely typical.

Disadvantages to waiting:

Probably won't live long enough for your kids to have kids, and therefore will miss out on being a grandparent.

Even if the parent was 35 and their child also waited until they were 35 then they would be a grandparent at 70. Chances of living to 70 and being independent are rather high and there would be enjoyment of time with the grandchild.

My grandparents married young and had several miscarriages. Then one day my grandmother had her first child at the age of 36 and had 3 additional full term, non-complicated pregnancies/births within 6 years. All of the children were healthy and college educated. That woman is now 95 and has enjoyed countless visits with her great-grandchild.

Specializes in PCCN.
Even if the parent was 35 and their child also waited until they were 35 then they would be a grandparent at 70. Chances of living to 70 and being independent are rather high and there would be enjoyment of time with the grandchild.

Hmm,. I was unofficially basing that assumption on the clientele I get lately. Ive had amny many patients in their 50s and 60s who are so debilitated they belong in nursing homes. Even the 70 year olds.

Once in a rare while I get the oriented /independent 90 year old, but the odds are very low.

The majority of pts we have to "babysit" are 60s on up. We dread getting the 80 year olds-most of them are helpless.They need 2 people to get them to the BSC!

I cant see them being useful grandparents.

Hmm,. I was unofficially basing that assumption on the clientele I get lately. Ive had amny many patients in their 50s and 60s who are so debilitated they belong in nursing homes. Even the 70 year olds.

Once in a rare while I get the oriented /independent 90 year old, but the odds are very low.

The majority of pts we have to "babysit" are 60s on up. We dread getting the 80 year olds-most of them are helpless.They need 2 people to get them to the BSC!

I cant see them being useful grandparents.

Okay, but that's really not the norm. Most 50 year olds are not debilitated. They are still very active in their careers and lives, many are physically active and exercise daily, etc. Many of us have parents who are still active in their 70s. It's not that unusual.

Hmm,. I was unofficially basing that assumption on the clientele I get lately. Ive had amny many patients in their 50s and 60s who are so debilitated they belong in nursing homes. Even the 70 year olds.

Once in a rare while I get the oriented /independent 90 year old, but the odds are very low.

The majority of pts we have to "babysit" are 60s on up. We dread getting the 80 year olds-most of them are helpless.They need 2 people to get them to the BSC!

I cant see them being useful grandparents.

I can see this with patient's that actually need nursing care and what we see in the acute and LTC facilities would definitely give this impression of the elderly. Living in a state that has was coined as "God's Waiting Room" (not so much now with the increased cost of homeowner's insurance) when I graduated from nursing school, my average patient was over 85.

The majority of the elderly are not institutionalized but live within the community in their own homes. Most of my neighbors are elderly and they can even drive (and are safer than the teenagers being released from the high school across the street who are multitasking with their cell phones). If someone chooses to have a child in their thirties I wouldn't consider them fossils having babies, many people have children at this age.

If someone is in bad shape in their 50's or 60's a lot of the time it's related to lifestyle choices over the years (Diet, exercise, alcohol/tobacco, etc), although some just have bad luck/genetics. I would hope that someone who is in poor health in their 30-40s would reconsider having children if they aren't going to be around for them while they grow up and have their own families later.

I never viewed it my mother's responsibility to be a 'useful grandparent'. One of the reasons for having a child later would be to have the financial security to be able raise them without relying on our own parent's for help since quality childcare can be very expensive.

Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
No

With drugs like Cialis you can wait till your 60 or 70 to have kids

I suggest wait till your in your mid 40 then go find a young college girl to marry.....

While I don't really support being a man in their mid 40's marrying a young college girl (sure she probably looks good naked but eventually you are going to have to TALK to her), I am an advocate of waiting until MUCH later in life to marry (assuming that one considered a marriage license necessary for their happiness, or for financial reasons) than has been traditional in the USA.

I am married to a wonderful woman from New Zealand, have visited there a number of times, and lived and worked there as an RN. I noticed that nobody in NZ seems to be in any hurry to get married and was surprised by the very large number of couples who were in monogamous relationship and rising families together, but who had never bothered to go and get a marriage license. I know my wife and I would not have gotten married when we did were it not for the license being required for visa issues.

I attribute this to two things. First there is no financial benefit to being married in NZ as there is in the USA. Second NZ is a MUCH more secular country than the USA.

I remember asking my 24 year old, recent university graduated Kiwi niece who had been in a relationship with the same nice young man for the last 5 years if they had any plans of getting married? She looked surprised and said "get married? Isn't that what old people used to do?"

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