No, I am not going to do that

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. I would do ALMOST anything for my patients, but this was my conversation tonight.

Mr. Doe, I am leaving soon. Do you need anything else before I go home?

Yeah, I need to pee.

OK, no problem, I hand him the urinal and tell him I will leave to give him privacy. Asked him to call when he was done. This is where it gets weird.

Mr. Doe "No, you can't go. You need to help pull it out of my pants and put it in there."

Me "Mr. Doe, you have been using your hands all night to feed yourself. You were living at home taking care of yourself until yesterday. Who did this for you at home before you left and who will do it for you when you go home?"

Mr. Doe "I can do it when I am at home. But here I need you girls to help. Now, put your gloves on and get over here."

Me "Tell ya what, Mr. Doe, I am not going to do this for you. However, if you really need help, I will send the night nurse in to help. Jack will be down in a minute, K?"

We were all shocked when Mr. Doe had managed to use the urinal all by himself by the time Jack made it down the hallway. Really, did he think I was completely naive? Been a nurse for a long time and a woman even longer.:rolleyes:

A student at the hosp I am at, was applying a condom cath. Pt told her it will only stick if she blew on it to make the glue dry. Poor thing didn't even see it coming.... Her preceptor walked in and said something along the lines of "what the F**K are you doing!":eek:

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Well, as the later generations get into old age... were gonna have grannies with boob jobs, and their gonna be wanting Botox and Brazilians as part of regular upkeep.

When Antarctica has a 'beach season' I'll get right on that :D

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it's not always the pts either.

when i was 15, i was hospitalized for 6+ months, bedbound for close to 5 of those.

one of the nsg assistants (who was in her 20's) was giving me a bed bath, but was ONLY focused on one particular area.

finally i had enough and told her in a classic and irritated adolescent way, to 'back'-off.

this particular cna was....i just don't know how to describe her....it goes beyond airhead...i just really thought she never had a clue...about anything.

after i kicked her out, she let out a laugh and told me, "i can't help it"...i won't quote the rest, but she found a part of my body "beautiful".

to this day, i'm not convinced it was sexual....it was just who she was - very 'out there'.

still, it really has to be a human flaw, having little to nothing to do with being a pt, staff or anyone else.

bottom line, some folks are plain fried.

leslie

one more thought: in that very same hospital, a dr. entered my closed curtain, while i was on the bed pan.

he was another one that wasn't very subtle, but he didn't say anything...

just excused himself after approx 30 secs of staring.

i wonder if anyone would act that way with adult pts?

That's just creepy, leslie...... I'd be having some sort of medieval hardware welded on with someone like that floating around :eek:

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Specializes in Cardiology and ER Nursing.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYE-a0gGCnM[/YOUTUBE]

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQH_2XlTMX_PiW9eORAom4VUaj0HRLiRrTUXdE7JlWQONInhglShQ

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The only times I've had problems with sexually inappropriate patients is when I've been pulled to the locked psyche unit. And both times it was female schizophrenic patients with long histories of being sexually inappropriate and/or nymphomania.

Pretty awkward when the patient BM'ed her pants in an attempt to get me to clean her. I had to help (limited amount of staff) but I didn't do much of the hands on part.

The logic escapes me, how is it suppose to be hot or seductive to ruin your pants?

It doesn't help that I'm drop dead gorgeous with big beautiful green eyes and wide manly shoulders :D :D :D j/k :o ;-)

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Specializes in Neuro ICU.

This is not something that I'd put up with for a second.

In fact, I work in an outpatient clinic now and last week we had a patient make an inappropriate remark to one of our techs. I found out about it after he left.

He and I are going to have a little man to man talk, and it's going to be clear that he will be on his best behavior from here on out. I'm not even going to say "or else".

I've said it before, and I've been very lucky that it's happened more than once, but the women I work with are some of the best in the business and nobody messes with them when I'm around.

Most of the men I work with feel more or less the same way. My advice: let one of the guys you work with know what's going on. I'm pretty sure they'll put a stop to it right quick.

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Specializes in Operating Room.

I was helping out in an OR room and was helping get the safety belt on and position the patient. Felt a little tap on my ample butt..I thought I just backed into the patients arm/ hand so no biggie. Then it happened again, much more assertive and when I looked at the patient, he winked.:rolleyes:

Probably should have spoken up but I was a little thrown by it. I brought my patient back to PACU later, and there he was, Mr Feely. He saw me and waved.:eek::uhoh3:.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

In the SNF where I worked prior to my current position, I was met at the door by our new admit, a 50-something who showed me a very edematous set of huevos and a bottle of lotion and told me, "I want you to rub this on my b*lls."

Nonplussed, I still had enough presence of mind to hand the lotion back to him and say, "Oh, I think not---you seem perfectly capable of doing that for yourself."

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In the SNF where I worked prior to my current position, I was met at the door by our new admit, a 50-something who showed me a very edematous set of huevos and a bottle of lotion and told me, "I want you to rub this on my b*lls."

Gross :barf01:

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

EEWWWWWWW!!

Anne, RNC :eek:

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Specializes in family practice.

Had a CNA walk into a pt's room (pt's over 65), she finished using the BCS and he hands her the wipe and she goes, 'oh no you wipe it for me i love being wiped by younger men'. it was the talk of the unit for the night because this CNA had been told by another pt that he should be a stripper.

Also my first clinical and pt, my innocent self walked into the pt's room and the first comment he made was 'since i was in the hospital, i havent had a hard on till now' i turned and walked out to get my instructor to deal with the guy

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Had a CNA walk into a pt's room (pt's over 65), she finished using the BCS and he hands her the wipe and she goes, 'oh no you wipe it for me i love being wiped by younger men'. it was the talk of the unit for the night because this CNA had been told by another pt that he should be a stripper.

Also my first clinical and pt, my innocent self walked into the pt's room and the first comment he made was 'since i was in the hospital, i havent had a hard on till now' i turned and walked out to get my instructor to deal with the guy

Did that take care of his need to wilt, ASAP???

:eek:

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