No, I am not going to do that

Published

Seriously, you can't make this stuff up. I would do ALMOST anything for my patients, but this was my conversation tonight.

Mr. Doe, I am leaving soon. Do you need anything else before I go home?

Yeah, I need to pee.

OK, no problem, I hand him the urinal and tell him I will leave to give him privacy. Asked him to call when he was done. This is where it gets weird.

Mr. Doe "No, you can't go. You need to help pull it out of my pants and put it in there."

Me "Mr. Doe, you have been using your hands all night to feed yourself. You were living at home taking care of yourself until yesterday. Who did this for you at home before you left and who will do it for you when you go home?"

Mr. Doe "I can do it when I am at home. But here I need you girls to help. Now, put your gloves on and get over here."

Me "Tell ya what, Mr. Doe, I am not going to do this for you. However, if you really need help, I will send the night nurse in to help. Jack will be down in a minute, K?"

We were all shocked when Mr. Doe had managed to use the urinal all by himself by the time Jack made it down the hallway. Really, did he think I was completely naive? Been a nurse for a long time and a woman even longer.:rolleyes:

Sheesh, that happened to me too. The guy was ambulatory and just about to D/C. He walked to the bathroom and wanted me to come help him. I thought he meant because he was unsteady still while walking... but no, he walked to the bathroom just fine. He wanted me to hold "it" telling me he couldn't stand and hold it at the same time. :rolleyes: The male tech was just coming in to get his things ready for D/C and call transport, etc. so, I just told the patient that Mike, here will hold "it" for you. :D Of course Mike told me later that apparently his assistance was refused.

About those who will pee on floor to make a point. Well, that's gonna get charted.... Nice to have "perv" on your permanent record.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
or deal with the wet floor . . . because i've seen them do that to "make a statement."

then i just get a mop......if you can put food in your mouth you can put your......uhmmm.....private parts in a urinal. :smokin:

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.
Then I just get a mop......If you can put food in your mouth you can put your......uhmmm.....private parts in a urinal. :smokin:

This is how I am. I have to warn my aides sometimes not to put up with this crap from the creeps and perverts.

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Specializes in ICU, ED, PACU.

This is not a male patient only phenomenon. I've had female patients ask me to scratch them in in their genital region. No thanks.

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Specializes in OR Hearts 10.
This is not a male patient only phenomenon. I've had female patients ask me to scratch them in in their genital region. No thanks.

Ewwwww....

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Yeah, Mike, so true! I remember one afternoon as myself and another nurse worked in a home with two adult female patients - we sat in a room between theirs the older one called to her nurse so I'm sitting there charting on my flow sheets and start to hear the lady begin to moan - getting louder ahhhhhh oh yes that it's it Kathy (not her real name) ohhhh don't stop Kathy ahhhhhh yessss that's it, do it more oooh ooh , etc. We're talking loud as in megaphone loud.

Finally, Kathy came out looking thoroughly mortified. She agreed to scratch a teeny itchy spot (on her leg) only . . the whole thing just got out of control. I decided not to comment. A little while later it was "Kathyyyyy can you please come back and --- no!! :lol2:

Another wanted me to clip their pubes for the summer. I told the patient I was sure the very competent HHA would do a much better job than I would.

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Another wanted me to clip their pubes for the summer. I told the patient I was sure the very competent HHA would do a much better job than I would.

Well, as the later generations get into old age... were gonna have grannies with boob jobs, and their gonna be wanting Botox and Brazilians as part of regular upkeep.

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Specializes in Skilled Nursing/ Long Term Care.

:rotfl: Too funny!!!!

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it's not always the pts either.

when i was 15, i was hospitalized for 6+ months, bedbound for close to 5 of those.

one of the nsg assistants (who was in her 20's) was giving me a bed bath, but was ONLY focused on one particular area.

finally i had enough and told her in a classic and irritated adolescent way, to 'back'-off.

this particular cna was....i just don't know how to describe her....it goes beyond airhead...i just really thought she never had a clue...about anything.

after i kicked her out, she let out a laugh and told me, "i can't help it"...i won't quote the rest, but she found a part of my body "beautiful".

to this day, i'm not convinced it was sexual....it was just who she was - very 'out there'.

still, it really has to be a human flaw, having little to nothing to do with being a pt, staff or anyone else.

bottom line, some folks are plain fried.

leslie

one more thought: in that very same hospital, a dr. entered my closed curtain, while i was on the bed pan.

he was another one that wasn't very subtle, but he didn't say anything...

just excused himself after approx 30 secs of staring.

i wonder if anyone would act that way with adult pts?

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Specializes in Correctional, QA, Geriatrics.

I had two instances of sexually inappropriate behavior in the past week; 1 male resident and 1 female resident. As anyone who has ever worked on a med cart knows ones backside sticks out whenever you are working on the middle or lower drawers. Not the most dignified of positions but it is what it is.

So both the male and the female felt compelled to let me know just how enticing they found my "rear assests". The female went so far as to actually pat me as she passed by me. Egads! I do understand that age does not automatically negate sexual interest but even outside of a work environment I do not respond favorably to come on lines. In a work environment it does bother me; especially if someone touches me. Just to be clear a female touching me wasn't a matter of concern. It was simply being touched in a familiar, uninvited sexually charged way that I object to.

It takes everything I have to not respond with something along the lines of are you crazy? That is offensive and would never work on me or most folks I know even if there wasn't a rule about professional boundaries. Please keep the comments and touches and invitations to yourself. Don't grope me or ogle me and I will extend you the same courtesy.

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I will give them a line about the open and oozing blisters on my hand. If that doesn't work, I send in K, a former Drill Sgt. to assist them with their attitude.

:smokin:

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
This is not a male patient only phenomenon. I've had female patients ask me to scratch them in in their genital region. No thanks.

There's an icky factor that goes way beyond words......:eek:

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