Many of my colleagues are raising their grandkids

[Emergent, RN]

I've noticed a trend of coworkers in their 40s-60s raising their own grandkids.

I don't have grandkids yet even though I have a large number of adult offspring. My kids are all super responsible, maybe that's why. LOL, don't know where they got that from!

I've noticed that meth seems to be a huge problem leading to this. It's definitely a growing phenomenon in America today. Extended family is great, but this trend is disturbing because it results from societal decay that affects us all. Many of our young people are unprepared for parenthood and adulthood in general.

I applaud you grandparents who are stepping up to save these kids. I've told my kids that, no way will I raise grandkids, I need a break after raising so many of my own, but I'd love to babysit a lot when I finally get some. But, there's a problem in our culture. We've lost our bearings somehow.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

As a relatively young grandparent, I really don't know where these grandparents are getting their energy. But then again, faced with truly horrific circumstances, I'm sure I would do what needed to be done to ensure my precious grand babies' future.

It is indeed a very troubling trend.

[Cob94]

The best piece of advice I can give is that no matter how " super responsible" our kids can be, they can slide. Doesn't even have to do with drugs. I have learned that the hard way. You can be so proud one moment and so devastated the next. If it came down to it, I would raise my grandkids.

[Ruas61, BSN, RN]

It's not a new trend but it seems more prevalent.

[dream'n, BSN, RN]

I've told all of my kids for years that I will never take on full responsibility for grandchildren. Mine are young adults and I'm ready for a little peace. To be honest, I guess I'd do whatever I had to do. BUT I really, really would be very unhappy about the situation. Hope that doesn't make me sound selfish, but I've given everything I had raising my children; my time, my support, my wisdom, my money, my unconditional love...right now I'm starting to finally see a little light at the end of the tunnel for them all and I'm starting to find ME again. I just want to get my youngest two on a good college track and help them spread their wings.

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

I had a high school classmate who decided to live on campus during college and party it up... and ditch the little girl she had when she was 16 with her mother. I don't know how people can be so incredibly selfish. I lost all respect for her when she did that.

It is absolutely amazing how entitled some people can be. It's not always life accidents or bad circumstances that result in grandparents raising their grandchildren - sometimes it's just straight up selfishness on the part of the adult children. I see the grandparents as the victims. What could they even do to even stop that sort of behavior? Reporting their adult children to CPS for neglect will just get their grandchildren taken away or put in the foster system, which doesn't help anybody. Seems like the grandparents often have their hands tied to me.

[Jules A, MSN]

It is absolutely amazing how entitled some people can be. It's not always life accidents or bad circumstances that result in grandparents raising their grandchildren - sometimes it's just straight up selfishness on the part of the adult children. I see the grandparents as the victims. What could they even do to even stop that sort of behavior?

There are many different reasons this happens but I don't feel the grandparents are necessarily always the victims. It makes me think of the young 20 somethings who don't work, aren't in school or the military. And who is buying their food and cigarettes?

Not working or raising our own children wasn't ever an option or consideration for some of us. There is no way that would have flown in my family.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

My maternal grandmother had a total of 23 grandchildren and raised some of them at various points in their childhoods and adolescence. Unfortunately, drug abuse was very prevalent in my family at one point in time, especially when the crack epidemic struck in the 1980s.

My grandmother was a widow who lived in poverty, so the grandchildren who lived with her also lived in material poverty.

I also come from a hometown with a high teen pregnancy rate. Many of these girls have no job prospects, so it is common for youngish grandparents (mid 30s to mid 50s) to financially support a multigenerational living arrangement complete with up to four generations under one roof (young kids, teen mom, middle-aged grandparents and elderly great-grandparents).

The youngest grandparent I met was 29 years old. She gave birth at 14, and her daughter have birth at age 15. The cycle repeated itself quickly.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

And to kick it back way old school, back in the day there were multi-generations living in a house together well into adulthood, kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, cousins...

My great grandmother ruled the roost for multiple, multiple years...in one house with many of us.

I think it is a culture thing.

And just to play devil's advocate here, I have seen just as many grandparents who have significant control issues, disillusioned at the thought of an empty nest, can't seem to let go of their kids, dislike their kid's partners, who will fight tooth and nail to get ahold of their grandchild. To use as a giant pawn. To ease the ache of needing a child's unconditional love. To prove something. To be in control of a situation. To feel better about themselves. To passive-aggressively moan and groan about how "hard" it is, but at the same time wanting that praise and admiration. And the sad part about it is that then you have a kid who, no matter how well intended (or not) a grandparent is, is not their parent. And that feeling of abandonment doesn't go away--but is acted out in a variety of ways.

Unfortunetely, that then becomes wounded people who raise wounded kids, and just to make it stick, raise wounded kids again.

So to me, it is 2 different things. Multi-generational family living is a cultural thing, and is very different than a grandparent who then takes on grandchildren.

[NOADLS]

Back when our parents were raising us, it was uncommon for there to be marital issues. If there was a divorce, most locals would know about it and avoid those people. But now? So many struggling single parents who are so desperate that their parents are raising their children.

[enuf_already]

I see this every day. There are multiple factors on the part of the parents including drugs, crime, incarceration, mental illness, neglect and abuse and selfishness (My new boyfriend doesn't like my ex-boyfriend's kid so my parents can keep him/her).

Some of the kids who are with the grandparents have significant special needs. Many of these grandparents struggle and some have filed bankruptcy or lost their homes to keep their grandchildren together.

I cannot imagine the stress and disappointment these grandparents face at a time when they should be done raising kids. They should be enjoying their grandkids for visits, not worried about their survival.

There are always the controlling enablers but most of the grandparents I meet who are raising their grandchildren have sacrificed their retirement for their grandchildren. I rarely hear any of them complain and some of these children require a lot of care.

[PinayUSA]

Grand Parents raising there grand kids has been around as long as I can remember, I don't see it being more today than 30 years ago.