Hello everyone, I'm a longtime member here whom I hope some of you will recall. I haven't been around much because of battling serious health problems, but for many years prior to 2023 I visited and posted at least daily. I was a moderator for six years and have been a Guide since 2011. I've always loved it here, but now the time has come to prepare to say goodbye.
You see, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the lung with mets to the other lung and lymph nodes. My prognosis is extremely poor; chemotherapy is the only mode of treatment available for my kind of cancer, and I don't want it. I always said I'd never do chemo because of what I saw it do to patients, most of whom were miserable from throwing up and having diarrhea and not feeling like eating because of the nausea. They lost their hair, their teeth, and a good portion of their dignity. No thank you! I'd rather have six months of "OK" than a year of feeling terrible.
So, I've chosen to let nature take its course. No more hospital stays, doctor appointments, scans or procedures. I'm on hospice, which has already helped tremendously with comfort care and things like funeral planning. I have good days and bad days; today is one of my good ones, which is why I'm posting this now. I don't have much energy or strength, and I sleep a lot. Food doesn't interest me, so I've lost a lot of weight. But my soul remains strong, and I'm looking forward to the day when I see my husband and baby daughter again. I know I walk with God and trust him to lead me home.
Thanks for reading this rather lengthy post. I've enjoyed being here at AN all these 22 years, and I'll still be around for a little while yet so I'll keep checking in. God bless you. Viva
I have read and found comfort in so many of your posts. THANK YOU for BEING YOU. I am so sorry you are facing what you are, I truly hope for your comfort and peace now and in the days to come.
I wish you comfort and peace on this journey. I am glad to hear that you have embraced Hospice and they are keeping you comfortable. Your sage advice was always on point, and helpful. You will be missed.
I have been a member since 2010 , and have been wondering how you were. I have always admired your kind and insightful advice to other members, especially those struggling with mental health challenges.
Sending prayers for peace and comfort, and the joyful reunion you'll have with your loved ones.
Yes, I remember you and all your kind and helpful advice. I wish you comfort, peace and joy on your journey to meet your loved ones in heaven. You will be remembered and missed here by so many of us. Thank you for sharing with us all your experiences and advice and now your health journey.
All the near death experiences I've read comfort me, so I know heaven is a beautiful place where we see our God and our loved ones and even our precious pets! They say the colors are so vivid and beautiful, the flowers are alive. This world cannot compare. The people don't want to come back as they feel so loved and happy but are urged to as they are told it is not their time so go back reluctantly, awaiting when they can finally return to heaven.
There is a hospice nurse on YouTube who is so uplifting and shares her patient's journey, Nurse Hadley, maybe you have heard of her. You might want to check out her page for some of her stories at https://www.YouTube.com/@NurseHadley
She even wrote a book recently, The Inbetween, that shares some of her patients' journeys.
Oh Marla - your spirit is inspiring. I know how much you have suffered in the last few years. You gave your heart and soul to AN and helped so many here. You will certainly be missed. Give our thanks to your husband for sharing you with us
My dear though I don't know you personally but I empathize with you at this time in your life. I have been reading Allnurses for quite a few years and have enjoyed doing so. May God continue to bless you and keep you safe and comfortable at this difficult time. I thank you for all that you have done for our profession of nursing.
Love and blessings to you and your family .
Peachpit
224 Posts
I have read and found comfort in so many of your posts. THANK YOU for BEING YOU. I am so sorry you are facing what you are, I truly hope for your comfort and peace now and in the days to come.