Hello everyone, I'm a longtime member here whom I hope some of you will recall. I haven't been around much because of battling serious health problems, but for many years prior to 2023 I visited and posted at least daily. I was a moderator for six years and have been a Guide since 2011. I've always loved it here, but now the time has come to prepare to say goodbye.
You see, I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the lung with mets to the other lung and lymph nodes. My prognosis is extremely poor; chemotherapy is the only mode of treatment available for my kind of cancer, and I don't want it. I always said I'd never do chemo because of what I saw it do to patients, most of whom were miserable from throwing up and having diarrhea and not feeling like eating because of the nausea. They lost their hair, their teeth, and a good portion of their dignity. No thank you! I'd rather have six months of "OK" than a year of feeling terrible.
So, I've chosen to let nature take its course. No more hospital stays, doctor appointments, scans or procedures. I'm on hospice, which has already helped tremendously with comfort care and things like funeral planning. I have good days and bad days; today is one of my good ones, which is why I'm posting this now. I don't have much energy or strength, and I sleep a lot. Food doesn't interest me, so I've lost a lot of weight. But my soul remains strong, and I'm looking forward to the day when I see my husband and baby daughter again. I know I walk with God and trust him to lead me home.
Thanks for reading this rather lengthy post. I've enjoyed being here at AN all these 22 years, and I'll still be around for a little while yet so I'll keep checking in. God bless you. Viva
God bless you, Viva. May God give you His comfort and peace and wrap His loving arms around you at this time. You fought the fight, and finished the course and kept the faith!
You've made a tough but beautiful decision to choose quality over quantity. There is much reward in quality. God Bless and carry you safely home to your husband and daughter. Thank you for sharing your story.
I have always considered yours the voice of calm & reason. Thank you so very much for your wisdom and support. Wishing you absolute comfort, peace and joy. Blessings to you on your journey
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Thanks for sharing with us, Marla.
sharing so much of your nursing knowledge, so many funny stories, so many pearls of wisdom.
and being vulnerable in sharing your diagnosis with us, we aren't owed any explanation or any of your personal information, yet you share your final message to us so beautifully
you are one of a kind, and your earthside time will not be forgotten.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Thanks, y'all. I'm glad I've made a difference here. That's all I ever wanted, and why I became a nurse in the first place.
I'm pretty much holding my own right now, but getting weaker and more tired. I've decided that when the time comes, I'm going to have my son the former LPN announce it here on AN. You deserve to know. I'll have him post under my screen name and tell you who he is before writing of my passing. He won't be all flowery—he's a no-nonsense human being who loves me tremendously, yet doesn't get very sentimental—but he'll give you the details as to when it occurred and funeral arrangements and such.
If you happen to want to donate to a good cause, please send your contributions to NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) or a local group that works with people who suffer from psychiatric disorders. Much better than flowers!
Anyway, I still have some weeks or months to live, so you can expect me to lurk here, or even post on my good days. I SO appreciate the messages you've left for me on this thread. You are so kind, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Hi Viva! It's hard to get this news. I respect and admire your choice to live out your remaining time comfortably, and facing the transition into the next life this way.
You've always been so real and open here on Allnurses. You have been a loving inspiration to many of us. You're always kind.
I still check in daily, even though the forum isn't very lively anymore. Like a lot of us older members, I'm retired from nursing now, and gladly so. I hope to see more posts from you, I'll watch for them ❤️❤️❤️
I was a very active member under another username years ago and remember you well... back when you could see who liked your posts/comments, yours was one of those names that I was so happy to see — because I respected your opinions and advice so much. A compliment from you was a high compliment for me.
I'm sad to hear about your diagnosis, but rejoice with you at your upcoming reunion with your husband and baby. I wish you peace and comfort during the coming days. 🤲🏻❤️
Your courage, strength, and sense of humor along with some gut wrenching honesty has always touched me here over the many years I've known you. You've touched and helped more people than you'll ever know.
I hope you know you're one of my favorite members here and I'm wishing you nothing but peace, comfort and the best on this new journey.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
VivaLasViejas said:
Thanks, y'all. I'm glad I've made a difference here. That's all I ever wanted, and why I became a nurse in the first place.
I'm pretty much holding my own right now, but getting weaker and more tired. I've decided that when the time comes, I'm going to have my son the former LPN announce it here on AN. You deserve to know. I'll have him post under my screen name and tell you who he is before writing of my passing. He won't be all flowery—he's a no-nonsense human being who loves me tremendously, yet doesn't get very sentimental—but he'll give you the details as to when it occurred and funeral arrangements and such.
If you happen to want to donate to a good cause, please send your contributions to NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) or a local group that works with people who suffer from psychiatric disorders. Much better than flowers!
Anyway, I still have some weeks or months to live, so you can expect me to lurk here, or even post on my good days. I SO appreciate the messages you've left for me on this thread. You are so kind, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sadly I have lost more friends than I should have to cancer. Three in the past year. The only solace has been that each has been fortunate to be able to choose hospice in the end and pass on their own terms. I have had the honor of working with hospice teams and been the impact my small part has had on the individual and their family.
Your impact on AllNurses is still fresh in my own mind. Sharing your experience and wisdom when I moved to long term care and helped shape my practice and perspective in caring for the geriatric population, Marla. Know that you had great influence by sharing your stories. While I am saddened by your diagnosis I am in awe of your strength to decide and direct your own care even when I know how hard many will still attempt to influence choices based upon my own recent experiences these past months.
thank you for sharing your experiences and advice your kindness. Your words will be your legacy., Marla
Bonnie Piper
13 Posts
God bless you, Viva. May God give you His comfort and peace and wrap His loving arms around you at this time. You fought the fight, and finished the course and kept the faith!
Go with God.
2 Timothy 4:7-8🙏