I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,
"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."
I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.
Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Stolen out of my mouth. Well, it looks like in this inpatient unit people really have time to care about such things instead praising the Lord for the uninterrupted 30 sec. break.
Uninterrupted? We used to joke that our assigned cell phones were toilet-activated. Never failed.
I've had this issue as a male nurse at a previous job(LTC facility). I personally just kept leaving the seat up out of spite. Idk about your situation but if I had been approached about it in a different manner( lady was extremely rude) I would've tried to remember to put the lid down after use.
No, not at all. However, it is, apparently, what this idiot woman wanted to "fight about." She raised the issue, not me. Try to read, if you can.
Any sympathy I might have had for you, I lost right there.
You come here asking for opinions on whether a certain behavior is rude or not..
Well, in my opinion this post of yours is an excellent example of rude. You refer to your coworker as that "idiot woman" and your reply to caroladybelle leaves a lot to
be desired.
As to your female coworkers' behavior, she might have been rude or she might have been trying to offer you advice on how to avoid unnecessary grief at work. It's hard for us to know without having heard tone of voice etc.
I don't think that this single comment can be construed as sexual harassment, and at this point I don't think that you have a complaint worth bringing to HR's attention.
The first thing I would ask if I were an HR representative would be, "did you ask your coworker what she meant by her comment"? "Did you tell her it made you uncomfortable"? And of course if you referred to your coworker as that "idiot woman" I'd be inclined to think that perhaps you are the problem employee.
In a previous career I used to work on a unit where I was the lone female in a group of about twenty. I used to leave the seat up when I was done because I knew that chances were good that the next person using it would want it that way. I just thought that was the most polite and practical way to do it, so it made sense to me to choose that alternative.
Now, if you're the only male working on an all female unit and your musculus detrusor vesicae urinariae isn't acting up, chances are that the next person using that restroom after you, will be a female. You have a choice to make. If this is important to you, then just keep leaving the seat up. If you want to be considerate of your female coworkers and strive for some sort of workplace harmony, perhaps you'll find that putting it down is a concession worth making. Only you can decide.
I guess I'd never deliberately chase down someone who left the seat up, but since you were the only one who coukd have done it, perhaps she was trying to do you a favor.
You can urinate sitting down, you know. Or aim well enough to not have to lift the seat. It seems like you're getting all riled up for something pretty insignificant.
I've wasted way too much time reading this, so I might was well go a bit further.
A few other things to think about....
Let's say he uses the restroom an average of Q3.5H per shift. That's 3-4 times a shift, 3 days a week. So, 9-12 times a week. I doubt the same person follows him each time. Heck, I go months without seeing the same person sometimes. So, really, how often is any one person inconvenienced by his routine?
And then, in my experience, the cleaning person also leaves the seat up when they are done cleaning. That's at least once a day, or at least 7 times a week. Has anyone told the cleaning people to put the seat down?
Finally, maybe the seat up really only bothers this one person. Suppose everyone knows that, and then suppose a situation arises that someone is out to get the OP for some specific reason. They all could conspire to make this guy's life difficult and THEY ALL could start leaving the seat up everytime, thus making sure that it is up anytime the offended nurse goes in there! The OP's fate would be doomed!
I wouldn't report it at this time, but I would keep a detailed journal of all related converstions and instances in which you (OP) found the toilet seat up.
TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
Uninterrupted? We used to joke that our assigned cell phones were toilet-activated. Never failed.