Is it just me, or is this rude, sexist, and condescending?

Nurses Relations

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I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,

"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."

I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.

Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

Rude? Yes.

Condescending? Yes.

Sexist? Sorry, but No.

IMO, as long as you leave the bathroom in a neat condition (i.e., clean up after yourself), who cares if the toilet seat is up or down? All it takes is two seconds to change the seat position. IMO ignore it. I wouldn't report it though unless you start getting harassed--reporting it may be more trouble for you than it's worth, especially with the conveyor of this "helpful advice."

Seriously? You would report bathroom issues to a supervisor/HR? SERIOUSLY?

You know, this is why nurse managers are a pain in the azz, it takes childish and ridiculous coping skills to deal with employees sometimes.

I highly doubt that. Good luck with your job. She warned you that your coworkers will not react nicely to a male coworker that doesn't put the seat down. That's not harassment. That's advice. And if you don't heed that advice, you'll be back here in a few months crying NETY and saying that you work with a bunch of bullies. Employees that pull this kind of crap are not well received by management either.

OMG, I am so sick of people looking for reasons to be offended. It just never ends!

Specializes in NICU, PICU, Transport, L&D, Hospice.
Holy Crap! I'm getting sucked into this vortex again. It's very simple behave as a gentleman and you'll be treated as a gentleman, remember you will at some point need your colleagues assistance with something don't antagonize them unnecessarily

Don't vote against your brothers...oh wait, you are just old and in the way.

If I were you, I would just say 'no problem maam, I will do that. I apologize.' And continue nursing. Some women don't mind having the toilet seat up, some do. Men stand up to urinate, women sit down.

Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

My man can do both, because he is in touch with his feminine side. Sometimes he wears pink shirts too.

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

Please keep in mind that many females have symptoms of an overactive bladder during pregnancy, after childbirth, from estrogen losses, or just loss of muscle tone from working in this business and having to ignore the urge.

Urge incontinence is something that many women have to live with and they do appreciate it when the males put the toilet seat down.

It is not a control issue for women, it is more about having a medical condition that makes us experience a loss of bladder control, and having the seat down makes that easier to manage.

Kudos and thanks to the men who understand this and show consideration to their female coworkers when using a unisex restroom.

Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.
Please keep in mind that many females have symptoms of an overactive bladder during pregnancy, after childbirth, from estrogen losses, or just loss of muscle tone from working in this business and having to ignore the urge.

Urge incontinence is something that many women have to live with and they do appreciate it when the males put the toilet seat down.

It is not a control issue for women, it is more about having a medical condition that makes us experience a loss of bladder control, and having the seat down makes that easier to manage.

Kudos and thanks to the men who understand this and show consideration to their female coworkers when using a unisex restroom.

OMG. You are so right. Have any of you had your scrub drawstring knot at the worst possible time?!

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.
OMG. You are so right. Have any of you had your scrub drawstring knot at the worst possible time?!

Elastic is my friend.

Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.
Elastic is my friend.

Not with this 50 year old poochy stomach. I like to adjust the gathers.

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

Honestly, it's rude of you to leave it up, and I applaud her for saying something to you. It's not like she called you out at the nurses station! Be a gentleman and put it back down. As far as going to HR? Suck it up, buttercup.

I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,

"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."

I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.

Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?

I would just say "Oh okay, sorry," and then start putting the seat down. Problem solved.

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