I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,
"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."
I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.
Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?
One day, I left a note on the wall behind the toilet for my fellow "hoverers." It read something about how I don't like to sit in OPP (Other People's Pee) so please aim for the big hole in the middle.
It borders on rude with the 'grinning' part unless it was a nervous smile.
I think she was trying to save you some grief.
I believe the most courteous and the social norm for public usage in a unisex bathroom is leave the seat down.
I find it thoughtless when the lone male on a female dominant shift leaves the lid up just as I would not get bent above the lid up on a male dominant shift.
Report it if you feel that strongly about it. However, if it a stand alone occurrence I would advise to let it go.
If I found out that my co-workers were having a go round about the toilet seat up/down and they were reporting each other, well, I would give them all a wide berth and think they were a little off.
Look on the bright side, if this is the worst event on your shift that is a plus.
Good grief! OP---it sounds as though you are just looking for a reason to get miffed/report someone. .
Ditto and add "get all butthurt"
You're the new guy, you're in the minority. Try to fit in.
Depending on what part of the country you're in, what this woman did would be considered a courtesy to give you a heads up on that "fitting in". Not everyone would do that. You just get a passive-aggressive cold shoulder and wonder why you're not getting along, never knowing it was something as stupid/petty as the toilet seat position. I'm guessing the grinning and whispering is a form of embarrassment at talking to you (a man)about a personal hygiene issue.
Was she rude, whether intentionally or unintentionally? Yea kinda.
Reporting this to HR or trying to call it sexual harassment is stupid. Put the seat down, or continue to leave it up if you feel that stubborn about it. If I worked in HR and got this report, I can't decide if I would be irritated or laughing hysterically.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,
"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."
I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.
Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?
Oh, good Lord! Just put the danged seat down next time. Since the majority of the employees using that work potty are probably female, just put the seat down. This person's job is not to be the toilet police, but I suspect that she was trying to clue you in to unit etiquette since you obviously didn't know. She was trying to do you a favor before you annoy every other female in your unit.
You don't like the comment. I'd have been embarrassed if someone had approached me about toilet etiquette. But condescending? Sexist? Most likely not. Before reporting it, think about whether or not you want to start this battle in your place of employment. It's probably not worth alienating the majority of your peers over.
If the situation was reversed I don't see how it would be sexual harassment. You make it sound like women claim sexual harassment for every little thing and are always favored in a dispute. How ridiculous.
If a man had said such a thing to me I would've told him to mind his own business. I'd say that regardless of gender actually. I can't imagine going to a supervisor with something like that. I think they'd wonder how I could handle residents and their families if I can't even handle a coworker.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
My widowed aunt lived alone and the toilet seat was never an issue for her. Until my father came over to help her with some chore and used her bathroom. That night, she got up in the middle of the night to pee and without looking (because the seat was always down) sat down. And down. Auntie was in her late 60s and quite a little fluffy . . . once she hit bottom, so to speak, she couldn't get out. She tried, and tried, and the more she wiggled the more deeply wedged she became.
Every morning at 0600, my aunt and my mother spoke on the phone to make sure no one had died in the night. That morning, auntie didn't call and she didn't answer her phone. My folks drove 9 miles to her house to pound on the door -- no answer. But they did hear a faint call for help, and so they called 911.
Auntie was NOT amused when the fire department carried her out of the house, toilet and all, still firmly wedged in place.
Sexist? No. Condescending, maybe. She could have approached it better and gone about it in a more professional way, but at the end of the day don't think it's a terribly difficult or demanding request.
KelRN215, BSN, RN
1 Article; 7,349 Posts
You should probably report the director to HR. I'm sure that will go over well.