Is it just me, or is this rude, sexist, and condescending?

Nurses Relations

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I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,

"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."

I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.

Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?

Specializes in ED.

Okay, I'm a guy, I can't help it I was born this way. But I was raised to always be respectful and good mannered; it is not unusual to be the only male staff member on my unit and I take it as a sign of respect to my colleagues to place the seat down. I have, and will continue to ask other males to please replace the toilet in the down position for the women that are there to cover my back and assist me in much more significant tasks. Really this is so trivial, how often have your coworkers saved your butt can't you help keep theirs dry? A little perspective please.

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Okay, I'm a guy, I can't help it I was born this way. But I was raised to always be respectful and good mannered; it is not unusual to be the only male staff member on my unit and I take it as a sign of respect to my colleagues to place the seat down. I have, and will continue to ask other males to please replace the toilet in the down position for the women that are there to cover my back and assist me in much more significant tasks. Really this is so trivial, how often have your coworkers saved your butt can't you help keep theirs dry? A little perspective please.

So nice :)

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Specializes in ED.

Besides I don't want them to blame me!

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Specializes in Critical Care, Float Pool Nursing.
All I got to say.

Holy cow is this what you want to fight about?

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No, not at all. However, it is, apparently, what this idiot woman wanted to "fight about." She raised the issue, not me. Try to read, if you can.

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Specializes in Pedi.

OP, did your mother never teach you to put the toilet seat down? It's considered common courtesy. You work with mostly women and, as a previous poster said, the majority of the activity in this bathroom will happen with the seat down.

Who are you going to report your new colleague to? HR? Where the person receiving the complaint will likely be a woman and agree that you should put the seat down? Stop being petty. If it's such a problem for you to put the seat down, find a men's room where there are urinals.

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"See, I put the seat down. But don't blame me for the saran wrap."

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Specializes in Critical Care, Float Pool Nursing.

Who are you going to report your new colleague to? HR? Where the person receiving the complaint will likely be a woman and agree that you should put the seat down?

I'm quite sure that me education any woman on her toilet habits, could easily be construed as sexual harassment, given the natural bias in women's favor on that issue. So yes, reporting her to HR, and bringing that up as an issue, would probably result in a reprimand for her. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's more than likely true. Sorry. ;)

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Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.

Don't y'all have those paper covers for the toilet seat? Then you don't have to employ the hover trick over the seat.

OP, I'm not sure this is a hill you want to die on. Just smile, follow her (misgiven) advice, and put down the toilet seat and get back to taking care of your patients.

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.
Why? Why don't you leave the seat up as a courtesy to the men in your family?

Because men SOMETIMES use the toilet with the seat down. Women NEVER use the toilet with the seat up. So seat position majority rules.

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
How do women know how to run a business, administer life saving medications with small margins for error but don't know how to operate a toilet seat?

The same question could be asked of men.......

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
Am I the only one here who saw that older woman nurse trying to be 'motherly' in a good way???

Maybe there were real issues with previous staff and she was trying to just give some friendly warning advice to save future conflict.

I could really imagine some unit out there with a bunch of picky picky clique of females giving some guy a hard time.

I don't read anything into this.

Do I have to make some popcorn???

I thought the same.

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Specializes in General Surgery.

Everyone here arguing that the seat should be up or that the seat should be down:

How about you raise or lower the seat in accordance to your needs? It's not that hard you people.

Seriously, my bigger issue is that people don't use wet ones. Now that'd a REAL issue.

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