Is it just me, or is this rude, sexist, and condescending?

[RNdynamic]

I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,

"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."

I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.

Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Believe it or not, there was a fairly recent thread about this topic. You may like to check it out.

So, what was your response to the toilet police?

[Farawyn]

Just pee all over the seat and assert your dominance next time.

Best answer ever.

[chare]

Was it rude? Yes.

Was it sexist or condascending? No, at least in my opinion.

As far as reporting her, over this, are you really sure that this is the fight that you want to make?

[ssweezie]

It's good manners to leave the seat AND the lid down. If there is no lid, leave the seat down. I wouldn't have said anything if someone left the seat up, but I think it's rude.

[toomuchbaloney]

I agree that her comment was rude.

Sexist? I think that is a stretch. Definitely rude.

It is no bigger deal for a woman to lower a toilet seat than it is for a man to raise it. If there is no lid then there is no default position.

In my family the rule is that EVERYONE puts the lid down when they are done with the toilet. If there is no lid you are off the hook.

I think women are terrible slobs in the bathroom. TERRIBLE.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been completely grossed out by the blood, urine, feces, and Lord knows whatelse I find on the floor and toilet when I go into these unisex bathrooms that are used primarily by women. Holy Mother of Jesus girls...

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

All I got to say.

Holy cow is this what you want to fight about?

Behave as the more mature person would, regardless of age. And put the seat down. In most nursing units, the vast majority of personnel use the commode with the seat down. I suspect that the OP uses the seat down for some activities. Thus a norm of seat down in most units is established.

But really, such a trivial issue.

[Farawyn]

I agree that her comment was rude.

Sexist? I think that is a stretch. Definitely rude.

It is no bigger deal for a woman to lower a toilet seat than it is for a man to raise it. If there is no lid then there is no default position.

In my family the rule is that EVERYONE puts the lid down when they are done with the toilet. If there is no lid you are off the hook.

I think women are terrible slobs in the bathroom. TERRIBLE.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been completely grossed out by the blood, urine, feces, and Lord knows whatelse I find on the floor and toilet when I go into these unisex bathrooms that are used primarily by women. Holy Mother of Jesus girls...

*stares at you*

Let's not generalize now, tmb. Boys are pretty icky, too.

[Farawyn]

All I got to say.

Holy cow is this what you want to fight about?

Behave as the more mature person would, regardless of age. And put the seat down. In most nursing units, the vast majority of personnel use the commode with the seat down. I suspect that the OP uses the seat down for some activities. Thus a norm of seat down in most units is established.

But really, such a trivial issue.

Yes, but it's fun.

TGIF!

[Golfer87]

Why? Why don't you leave the seat up as a courtesy to the men in your family?

Only if you want to treat the men like ladies.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

All I got to say.

Holy cow is this what you want to fight about?.

Stolen out of my mouth. Well, it looks like in this inpatient unit people really have time to care about such things instead praising the Lord for the uninterrupted 30 sec. break.

[amoLucia]

Am I the only one here who saw that older woman nurse trying to be 'motherly' in a good way???

Maybe there were real issues with previous staff and she was trying to just give some friendly warning advice to save future conflict.

I could really imagine some unit out there with a bunch of picky picky clique of females giving some guy a hard time.

I don't read anything into this.

Do I have to make some popcorn???

[RNdynamic]

I would put the seat down. Quite frankly Im shocked that you left it up and thought it okay. The men in my family know to put the seat down after use as it is only courteous and good manners. I would expect the same in the work place.

That's great. However, let's for example say that I were to correct some woman on the unit about her toilet etiquette, how much do you want to bet that she would be successful in reporting me for some form of "sexual harassment?"