I am a male nurse on an inpatient unit in a hospital who began a couple months ago. Recently I used the bathroom in the staff lounge, and after I left to sit down at the nurses station, an older female nurse came up to me grinning and whispering,
"Hi, I followed you after you used the bathroom, and used it next. I want you to know, the ladies here will be annoyed with you if you leave the toilet seat up after you use the toilet. We had a previous male nurse who the ladies became angry at because he didn't put the seat back down. I would put the seat back down if I were you."
I interpreted this to mean that really, she, rather than anyone else, wanted me to put the seat back down.
Is it really this person's job to be a toilet police? At least I actually put the damn seat up I can't count how many times I've found urine sprayed all over a toilet seat in the down position after a woman used it because she "hovered." I have to say, I found the comment sexist and condescending and am thinking of reporting it. What do you think?
I'm quite sure that me education any woman on her toilet habits, could easily be construed as sexual harassment, given the natural bias in women's favor on that issue. So yes, reporting her to HR, and bringing that up as an issue, would probably result in a reprimand for her. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's more than likely true. Sorry.
I highly doubt that. Good luck with your job. She warned you that your coworkers will not react nicely to a male coworker that doesn't put the seat down. That's not harassment. That's advice. And if you don't heed that advice, you'll be back here in a few months crying NETY and saying that you work with a bunch of bullies. Employees that pull this kind of crap are not well received by management either.
Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
Good grief! OP---it sounds as though you are just looking for a reason to get miffed/report someone. Go ahead and report her....it really is not, according to standard EEOC rules, etc., and sexual harassment laws considered sexual harassment. But, go ahead and make friends of the ladies you work with. There really and truly is a lot more in life to get all in a dither over, I promise.
Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
I got an email from my unit director that staff were complaining. I'm gonna quit lifting it
Well, then...aim to please....or, please aim. (Sorry, couldn't help it.) It is frustrating to have to put the seat back down every time. However, I think conversely it could be true as well, to have to put it up. Another poster mentioned something about keeping it down and covered, male and female alike. Seems like that could solve the problem...maybe. BUT, the culture in America, at least in my experience, is pretty much that a male should put it back down after using. Perhaps it comes from the archaic (it seems) notion of a man being a gentleman.......
Holy Crap! I'm getting sucked into this vortex again. It's very simple behave as a gentleman and you'll be treated as a gentleman, remember you will at some point need your colleagues assistance with something don't antagonize them unnecessarily
Not rude, sexist, or condescending. If this exchange had been over some other unit practice that didn't involve your bathroom habits, would you have been so butt hurt? If you're going to take a stand on this and escalate your complaint up the chain, be prepared for what will likely follow. At this point in your short-lived time on the unit, it would be in your best interest to foster some good will among your new coworkers rather than start a "pissing contest" (pun appropriately intended) with your peers.
That's great. However, let's for example say that I were to correct some woman on the unit about her toilet etiquette, how much do you want to bet that she would be successful in reporting me for some form of "sexual harassment?"
One day, I left a note on the wall behind the toilet for my fellow "hoverers." It read something about how I don't like to sit in OPP (Other People's Pee) so please aim for the big hole in the middle.
Specializes in Internal Medicine, Geriatric Medicine.
Ok--here's my take:
If the seat is up when you walk in and you need it down, put it down. If it's down when you walk in and you need it up, put it up. Really? Is this what we're worried about? How many of us share a bathroom at home or have shared a bathroom at home with someone of the opposite sex? Is it really that hard to look before you use the toilet?
KelRN215, BSN, RN
1 Article; 7,349 Posts
I highly doubt that. Good luck with your job. She warned you that your coworkers will not react nicely to a male coworker that doesn't put the seat down. That's not harassment. That's advice. And if you don't heed that advice, you'll be back here in a few months crying NETY and saying that you work with a bunch of bullies. Employees that pull this kind of crap are not well received by management either.