I know I should know this, I'll be a NP in December, but I am so mad right now I can not think.
I am scheduled for my repeat scope (EGD) on the 25th, a follow-up from the fiasco last month where I had a bleeding ulcer, lost 6 pints of blood, and almost died.
My husband knows this is scheduled, knows I'm nervous, and in his infinite wisdom, has chosen to do the absolute most inhuman, awful, stress-inducing thing he could.
He has invited my mother-in-law for the weekend before the scope. He initially said she would just come for Saturday, we would go for a meal, she would leave, "and she won't be in your hair for very long". Now he has changed it. She will be spending the night. He's even talking about not working that Sunday (if he worked, she would go home early).
I cannot stand my mother in law. I have tried to be nice since I have known her, but it has gotten to the point that I can not stand to be in the same room with her. She has psych issues (MAJOR bipolar) that she refuses to get help for. She alternately resembles a Chihuahua on speed, to be immediately followed by a crying jag. She punctuates every sentence with a Pillsbury Doughboy-like, high pitched little-girl giggle and a clap of her hands. Drives me crazy.
This was partly to blame for my condition, I feel, simply because of the stress. My husband accused me of being lazy and acting out because I did not like his family when I began manifesting s/s of the blood loss. His tune changed after I puked blood and passed out on him. He has not said anything like that since.
So, on the weekend that I need peace and quiet the most, I am going to be forced to put up with a dingbat who does not have the sense God gave a radish. Hubby's school of thought is that, since they (his mom and brother) finished packing up the vacation house after the ambulance took me away, I should put up with everything, like his brother as an every-weekend houseguest who leaves wet towels on my carpet, spit cups all over, and does not have the common decency to clean up after himself, and his mother as well, who, by all accounts, should be receiving inpatient treatment.
this is definitely my biggest stressor. Short of a divorce (and I do not want that), I don't know what to do. I guess I should feel bad for feeling like this, but I'm hoping you fellow daughters in law can sympathize.
Hubby still rankles over the fact that my folks live 5 miles away, and I see them about every day.
man... go to your parents and tell the husband nerts, he'll either get over it or show how much of a man he is not...(i speak from experience, i have had to humble myself) but your health is too important and if he cannot see that then he needs awake up call.
I am a firm believer that marriage is a joint venture, that is why the bible refers to it as "the two become one flesh" he is just hurting himself
After reading your posts I can see why you ended up almost dying. You are living with way too much stress and you need to find a solution when you are feeling stronger. Your hubby is passive aggressive and it isn't helping your health any. Sometimes being alone is a better option. I'm so sorry he is pulling this crap now when you need it the least.
I'd either flat out tell him she can't come that weekend because you aren't up to it physically and emotionally OR tell him if she comes you will be staying in a hotel because your health is too precarious right now not to do so. If he cries and carries on like a baby...let him. If he threatens to make you the bad guy with his mother...let him. If he wants his mommy to come and commiserate with her over his big bad wife...let him. You concentrate on you and your health as need be. That's most important right now. Sending prayers your way.
It sounds like your MIL and my stepmom should get together and cry about how horrible the world is to them and how everyone hates them. I feel your pain, although my MIL is actually pretty cool.
I think you need to take care of your health first and you relationship with hubby's family second. I would go stay with my family for the weekend and relax. What if you had a relapse dealing with your crazy MIL? Some people just drain the life outta you and you dont have that to give right now.
I'm sorry, I have no sage words of wisdom for you. I absolutely could not tolerate the kind of marriage you describe. All I can say is that I'm sorry things are so stressful for you.
My husband knows this is scheduled, knows I'm nervous, and in his infinite wisdom, has chosen to do the absolute most inhuman, awful, stress-inducing thing he could.
He has invited my mother-in-law for the weekend before the scope.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Might I be honest with you? The closest hotel is 15 miles away...I don't feel like dealing with him...yada, yada. You are making excuses. DH is choosing his Mommy over you and ruining your health in the process. If he won't go to therapy you certainly need to. Not because you're crazy but because you care too much. Start by buying the book "The Language of Letting Go" it should be your bible.
Nip it in the bud now or you'll be living this stress the rest of your life which may be cut short by DH and his Mommy.
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh..." He's not living up to his end of his wedding vows.
Since your hubby and his mom are having a Mom/Child weekend, you should grab your mom, hit up the hotel thats 15 miles away from your home and have a relaxing weekend. Go get pedicures and sit in the hotel hot tub and have a grand time!
Since your hubby and his mom are having a Mom/Child weekend, you should grab your mom, hit up the hotel thats 15 miles away from your home and have a relaxing weekend. Go get pedicures and sit in the hotel hot tub and have a grand time!
...and come home to the same problem?
She needs to take serious action but won't until she gets serious or sick enough to realize that she is being emotionally abused Been there, done that. Never again, and the answer was not a divorce. He is free however to see or talk to her whenever he wishes.
Been there, done that. Never again, and the answer was
huntfishrn
28 Posts
man... go to your parents and tell the husband nerts, he'll either get over it or show how much of a man he is not...(i speak from experience, i have had to humble myself) but your health is too important and if he cannot see that then he needs awake up call.
I am a firm believer that marriage is a joint venture, that is why the bible refers to it as "the two become one flesh" he is just hurting himself
love the primal scream thing btw.....