I know I should know this, I'll be a NP in December, but I am so mad right now I can not think.
I am scheduled for my repeat scope (EGD) on the 25th, a follow-up from the fiasco last month where I had a bleeding ulcer, lost 6 pints of blood, and almost died.
My husband knows this is scheduled, knows I'm nervous, and in his infinite wisdom, has chosen to do the absolute most inhuman, awful, stress-inducing thing he could.
He has invited my mother-in-law for the weekend before the scope. He initially said she would just come for Saturday, we would go for a meal, she would leave, "and she won't be in your hair for very long". Now he has changed it. She will be spending the night. He's even talking about not working that Sunday (if he worked, she would go home early).
I cannot stand my mother in law. I have tried to be nice since I have known her, but it has gotten to the point that I can not stand to be in the same room with her. She has psych issues (MAJOR bipolar) that she refuses to get help for. She alternately resembles a Chihuahua on speed, to be immediately followed by a crying jag. She punctuates every sentence with a Pillsbury Doughboy-like, high pitched little-girl giggle and a clap of her hands. Drives me crazy.
This was partly to blame for my condition, I feel, simply because of the stress. My husband accused me of being lazy and acting out because I did not like his family when I began manifesting s/s of the blood loss. His tune changed after I puked blood and passed out on him. He has not said anything like that since.
So, on the weekend that I need peace and quiet the most, I am going to be forced to put up with a dingbat who does not have the sense God gave a radish. Hubby's school of thought is that, since they (his mom and brother) finished packing up the vacation house after the ambulance took me away, I should put up with everything, like his brother as an every-weekend houseguest who leaves wet towels on my carpet, spit cups all over, and does not have the common decency to clean up after himself, and his mother as well, who, by all accounts, should be receiving inpatient treatment.
this is definitely my biggest stressor. Short of a divorce (and I do not want that), I don't know what to do. I guess I should feel bad for feeling like this, but I'm hoping you fellow daughters in law can sympathize.
And the hotel's a no-go. He usually says "Well, I'll just tell them you don't want anything to do with them.", and make me out to be the bad guy. This is better than it used to be. He comes from a very chauvinistic, paternalistic family, that does not have a high view of women. Even less so women with an opinion. MUCH less so when they speak it. And they know I could care less what they think of me.
why is the hotel a no go?
because of what he'll tell his mom???
so let him tell her.
dang, there are some really immature dynamics here.
but if you truly don't care what they think of you, then just go.
pffffffft to his childish threats.
sorry angel honey...
but me thinks this goes beyond a visit from your mil.
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
First, let me say that I am sorry for your health problems. That being said, I also think that since hubby is not listening, this is a losing battle and you need to be the one to go away for the weekend. This is about YOU...getting the peace of mind that you desperately need to face this. Let them have their time, and you take yours. And, most importantly, feel better.
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
Leslie, you're right, as usual.
This just brings it to a head.
He's immature and spoiled, and I'm not up to dealing with it right now. Normally, I would shake it off and just go, but I'll not have it said I let that man drive me from my house.
He has to act all big and bad for his Mama, and put on a show.
What he needs is a good sound kick, and I only wish I was 100% so I could give it to him.
I love him to death, and 90% of the time, he's fine. It's just when he feels like he has to prove something to that family of his that we have issues. I can not TELL you how thrilled I was when he said he had to work Christmas Day, since it meant I would not have to spend it with all that rig. Now he is off, more's the pity.
That was another fight we had, he was under the impression that we were going to spend EVERY CHRISTMAS DAY with his family.
Schooled his on that, that we would take turns, and he thought differently. So, I told him that he would be without me every other year.
He's used to running roughshod over everything, and it chaps the crap outta him for a woman to tell him how it is. I'm not a dictator, but I do insist things be fair. He knew I'd never agree to her coming, so he invited her and THEN told me. Just like a little kid.
You mean other that running out in the yard and doing a primal scream? The last time i did that, I scared the neighbors. Maybe howling at the moon........
No, the howling at the moon thing only works when its full. I did buy some polished quartz 'eggs' at the flea market and then lit some candles around them. I told my sister it was a Wiccan ritual meant to protect my property. She hasn't stolen a book out of my bedroom since. It is sad when you are an adult to have to resort to such ridiculous things, but sometimes you have to take an extreme action to knock common sense into stubborn heads. Some people are just too immature to have any respect for you, your property, your space, your soul. When that happens, do what you can to protect yourself.
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
Oh, and the nearest hotel's about 15 miles away. If it gets too bad, I'll go to Mama and Daddy's house. Then MIL will cry and everyone will be mad, sigh.....I can not win.
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
No, the howling at the moon thing only works when its full. I did buy some polished quartz 'eggs' at the flea market and then lit some candles around them. I told my sister it was a Wiccan ritual meant to protect my property. She hasn't stolen a book out of my bedroom since. It is sad when you are an adult to have to resort to such ridiculous things, but sometimes you have to take an extreme action to knock common sense into stubborn heads. Some people are just too immature to have any respect for you, your property, your space, your soul. When that happens, do what you can to protect yourself.
HEY! You gave me an idea. MIL thinks our house is haunted...(it is, but anyway...) I bet she'd never darken our door again if she saw a spectre. Now, what did I do with that white sheet with the eye holes?
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
I wish I could tell you some of the things this woman has done to make me feel this way. Y'all might get a kick out of them, but I always womder who all is on here that may just put 2 and 2 together.
Don't laugh...I did this once when my sister (aka 'The Snit') was coming. She called to let us know when she would be 'arriving' and that she hoped a homemade dinner would be coming out off the oven at that time (9PM). I told her that wasn't a problem, but not to be alarmed by the mouse traps because we wouldn't be able to get an exterminator in until Monday.
I wanted to delay her for a week. She didn't come for 3 months and only then because I finally admitted the trick to my dad who persuaded her that it was ok to come.
And of course, there is the adopt-a-snake option:chuckle.
If you're laughing Angelfire, then I'm doing something right! You are in my prayers! And at the very least, treat yourself to a massage this weekend--no matter how far you have to drive for it!
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
The adopt a snake idea has promise, but my whole family is terrified of them, except me.
Thanks for the support, guys. I think I may go drown my sorrows in a Mountain Dew and watch a Lucy or two. I may let the cat in. If it wasn't so stinking late, I'd got get a cheesecake.
Geez, 28 years old and I'm turning into a Golden Girl.
I did buy some polished quartz 'eggs' at the flea market and then lit some candles around them. I told my sister it was a Wiccan ritual meant to protect my property. She hasn't stolen a book out of my bedroom since. It is sad when you are an adult to have to resort to such ridiculous things, but sometimes you have to take an extreme action to knock common sense into stubborn heads. Some people are just too immature to have any respect for you, your property, your space, your soul. When that happens, do what you can to protect yourself.
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
why is the hotel a no go?
because of what he'll tell his mom???
so let him tell her.
dang, there are some really immature dynamics here.
but if you truly don't care what they think of you, then just go.
pffffffft to his childish threats.
sorry angel honey...
but me thinks this goes beyond a visit from your mil.
i really hope you guys can work this out.
leslie