Inane scripting

[Jedrnurse]

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

But awesome isn't an option on the survey and ultimately, that's all we care about!

Oh , ok , how bout, like, totally excellent. haha. or totally very good care . ha

Ill have to go back and look at one of my surveys i got when I was a patient.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

We're supposed to say "my pleasure" at my facility. I usually don't, because.... well when someone says "sorry I had an accident" I can't exactly say "my pleasure", that's just weird.

sorry,this made me laugh.

Pt- Im sorry, i threw up.

nurse- Dont worry, it will be my pleasure to wipe up all the vomit off of you and the floor.I hope to be providing very good care in wiping you up.

pt- thanks, sorry about that.

nurse- oh, its ok, dont worry, it truly was my pleasure to serve you.

[Emergent, RN]

sorry,this made me laugh.

Pt- Im sorry, i threw up.

nurse- Dont worry, it will be my pleasure to wipe up all the vomit off of you and the floor.I hope to be providing very good care in wiping you up.

pt- thanks, sorry about that.

nurse- oh, its ok, dont worry, it truly was my pleasure to serve you.

I might request a different nurse who doesn't have a fetish for cleaning vomit and poop.

[cocoa_puff]

Thankfully I don't work at a facility that requires "scripting," but as a PCT, I did work at a hospital that wanted us to say "How may I serve you today, I have the time, I'm happy to make your stay more pleasant."

[BeckyESRN]

Thankfully I don't work at a facility that requires "scripting," but as a PCT, I did work at a hospital that wanted us to say "How may I serve you today, I have the time, I'm happy to make your stay more pleasant."

I HATE the "how may I serve you", I'm not here to serve you, I'm here to provide care for you. There is a BIG difference!

[Nascar nurse, ASN, RN]

I hate when I'm at a restaurant and I get "I'm Susie Sunshine. I'll be your server today. How can I take care of you". Seems to be very common in all restaurants around here. Take care of me.....I always think "You want to take care of me? I'm not sick! Taking care of someone is passing meds, scrubbing c-diff bottoms, getting a little old lady in the shower who is hell bent to beat the tar out of you for it, etc

[Emergent, RN]

I hate when I'm at a restaurant and I get "I'm Susie Sunshine. I'll be your server today. How can I take care of you". Seems to be very common in all restaurants around here. Take care of me.....I always think "You want to take care of me? I'm not sick! Taking care of someone is passing meds, scrubbing c-diff bottoms, getting a little old lady in the shower who is hell bent to beat the tar out of you for it, etc

And I hate it when the servers make their rounds, interrupting you mid sentence, asking "Is everything tasting okay?"

I feel like telling them "Did anyone ever teach you not to interrupt? Go away, I'll call you if I need you! " Of course I don't do that, like all this over the top customer service, it's not the fault of the employee who is made to do this crap.

[ADN_Is_Complete, ADN]

I used to work for Pizza Hut and we used to have to say "It's a great day at Pizza Hut, my name is () ,would you like to hear our specials" . So annoying and im pretty sure I sounded annoyed saying it. Literally hated that job. It was never a great day.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

A secretary on one of the units I supervise always answers the phone "Mrs. Lastname speaking." She kind of mumbles and the way she says "misses" you sounds like "this is." The first few times I heard her do it I thought, wow, Lastname is an odd first name. But I knew her full name so I realized she was saying "misses." One of the new nurses on that unit asked me if she expected to be called "Mrs. Lastname." When she does it to me I just want to say "Hi, Mrs. Lastname, this is Mrs. 2061h, calling to ask if housekeeping has cleaned room 20 yet."

When I worked at Target I hated calling the customers guests

When I go to Moe's I hate the whole "WELCOME TO MOE'S" thing. I always try and look down and walk fast and not make eye contact and hope they don't notice me or if they do, realize I don't want attention drawn to me as I walk into a fast food restaurant.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Thankfully I don't work at a facility that requires "scripting," but as a PCT, I did work at a hospital that wanted us to say "How may I serve you today, I have the time, I'm happy to make your stay more pleasant."

In that case, bring me a Zofran.

[Glycerine82, LPN]

Your husband was a veeerryy brave man . Having lived in the Boston area for 3 years, I grew to, ahem, appreciate the Bahston accent. Our daughter-in-law is the epitome of Bostonian accents & I love trying to translate what she says into Texan, my native language . Thanks for the fun walk down memory lane!

LOL!

It was quite comical, but it paid the rent that month! ;-) My sweet hubby is pretty fabulous.

I constantly ask my southern friends to repeat themselves because I don't understand.

One time someone said her son "showed his ass" and I was looking at her, horrified. I said "Why would he DO that?" ..... I thought he mooned her.

Another time a patient told me she was "give out" I thought she told me to "get out" so I left the room.

I love the south! :-)

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

Once I asked a clerk in Kmart where the checkbook covers were. They looked really puzzled and while leading me down to an aisle to where she thought it was, said that "you know I think Walmart has those".

The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction.

One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.