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Inane scripting

Posted

Specializes in school nurse. Has 29 years experience.

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

"We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia. Has 44 years experience.

Anything that comes from Studer. Contrived. Insulting.

Happy to be away from that mess.

llg, PhD, RN

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development. Has 44 years experience.

The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

RNperdiem, RN

Has 14 years experience.

Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

Asystole RN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Vascular Access, Infusion Therapy.

The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

Asystole RN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Vascular Access, Infusion Therapy.

"We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

Better than my clerks that would simply say, "What do you want this time?"

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia. Has 44 years experience.

Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

My college-kid daughter worked for them briefly- I would call her at work just to make her say this!

llg, PhD, RN

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development. Has 44 years experience.

So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

Yes, but hearing the same line every time I go to the grocery store drives me crazy -- and feels so impersonal. I wish they had several lines they could choose from to mix it up a little.

KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine. Has 8 years experience.

"Did you experience something wonderful today?"

The patient smirked and answered most heartily: "sure, honey, I DID FINALLY S*** today!"

The poor nurse (from our host facility, where staff is driven to robotic parroting reg. scripting) exclaimed, completely automatically: "this is SO great, how can I help you to experience this further?"

After that admission/transfer preop report had to stop... for quite a while

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro. Has 16 years experience.

I don't use scripted lines unless I'm on stage.

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life). Has 19 years experience.

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

I once worked for a place where we answered the phone "Thank You for calling XXXX how may I exceed your expectations today"?

Hppy

We were ordered to say ' CVICU/Open Heart Unit. This is Sonnet RN. How may I help you?' Seems simple enough till you have to say it 50 times a day and you're in the middle of a code or some other emergency. People were tripping on their tongues trying to spit it out, so gradually it became 'CVI Sonnet' all over again. And none of the BigWigs who thought that up ever said another word about it.

CelticGoddess, BSN, RN

Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice. Has 6 years experience.

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

The cashier at Starbucks asking me how she could make my visit better.

Or the nurse who had to ask me how she could make my "stay" better. (Her manager was hovering) I was getting excellent care, so the only way they could have made my "stay" better was to give me a map of the escape routes.

I used to be a tour guide and my boss gave all of us this ridiculous closing script we were supposed to repeat before our passengers disembarked (I drove a carriage). It was stupid, it didn't make sense and NONE of us would repeat it unless he was nearby. I can't remember what exactly it was but I do remember a passenger asking me why I rambled off something so stupid. I just sort of pointed at my boss and he nodded.

I don't do scripting

RNNPICU, BSN, RN

Specializes in PICU. Has 13 years experience.

At the grocery store they always ask if I had found everything. I few times I have said no, and they actually found the item and brought it to me. On one occasion, I didn't think of it until I was actually checking out. Win for me because they found it and brought it to the check-out. I kind of like it. Most of the time I quickly say yes.

I called an office once and they answered, Good Morning, this is XXX, How can I help you have a great day.

I almost laughed

Edited by RNNPICU
forgot to add something

Sue Damonas, BSN

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy. Has 39 years experience.

When I call customer service for my insurance company they say" Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?".

KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine. Has 8 years experience.

What I just can't stop wondering is if someone REALLY think that people must enjoy that mechanical pleasanties exchange? In LTACH, where I work and where there is just no place for such things, as it is kind of impossible to use on our specific population (consisting of 50+% sickest of the sick totally deconditioned vents), patients and family members indicated more than once that they were, in fact, sick and tired of scripting. Eventually, and correctly, many of them started to figure that it was intended to cover from them facts and that things about Mother Dear were not really going so "great" and "awesome". I inquired why they did not asked about it, and the most common answer was that "we thought it was part of "their" jobs to be pleasant, and we do not bother others if they just do what they are paid for". In other words, these poor souls felt and perceived correctly that they were quite balantly lied to but accepted it as a "rule of the game", even when the life of their loved one was at stake. I was quite surprised by this observation and wonder if anyone who produced those silly scripting phrases ever thought about this possibility.

It wasn't silly so much as infuriating: *With flu shot in hand* "Your doctor has ordered a flu shot for you. Would you like it in your right or left arm?"

I have NEVER done this. Want to know how to piss someone off really quickly? Bringing in a flu shot without talking to the patient about it beforehand and not asking for their consent!