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Discussion

Inane scripting

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

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    • Featured Replies

    "We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

    The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

    One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

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    Anything that comes from Studer. Contrived. Insulting.

    Happy to be away from that mess.

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    • Experts

    The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

    One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

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    Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

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    The people at the grocery store say, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" It's fun to say, "No, I didn't. I was looking for xyz and couldn't find it," and watch the reaction. ;)

    One time, when I did that, the cashier got her manager -- who recommended I try a different store. I was impressed by that.

    So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

  • Quote
    "We hope you received excellent care today"- gag!

    The higher ups told our unit clerks to say "How can I be of service to you today?"

    One accidentally said "How can I service you today?" which made me LOL

    Better than my clerks that would simply say, "What do you want this time?"

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    Overheard: "Joann,s, how may we inspire you today?"

    My college-kid daughter worked for them briefly- I would call her at work just to make her say this!

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    • Experts
    So the script actually worked in that it successfully engaged a customer and brought forth an otherwise unaddressed need.

    Yes, but hearing the same line every time I go to the grocery store drives me crazy -- and feels so impersonal. I wish they had several lines they could choose from to mix it up a little.

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    "Did you experience something wonderful today?"

    The patient smirked and answered most heartily: "sure, honey, I DID FINALLY S*** today!"

    The poor nurse (from our host facility, where staff is driven to robotic parroting reg. scripting) exclaimed, completely automatically: "this is SO great, how can I help you to experience this further?"

    After that admission/transfer preop report had to stop... for quite a while

    :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

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    I don't use scripted lines unless I'm on stage.

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    • Guides
    Hi all.

    I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

    I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

    What are your most silly scripting experiences?

    I once worked for a place where we answered the phone "Thank You for calling XXXX how may I exceed your expectations today"?

    Hppy

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    We were ordered to say ' CVICU/Open Heart Unit. This is Sonnet RN. How may I help you?' Seems simple enough till you have to say it 50 times a day and you're in the middle of a code or some other emergency. People were tripping on their tongues trying to spit it out, so gradually it became 'CVI Sonnet' all over again. And none of the BigWigs who thought that up ever said another word about it.

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