Inane scripting

[Jedrnurse]

Hi all.

I just got off the phone with a self-storage space. The staff answered the phone by saying "Acme storage, how may we meet your storage needs?"

I almost laughed, but gave the staff person points for not vomiting while they said that.

What are your most silly scripting experiences?

[wolf9653]

Lay off the poor folk that are working a menial job. They don't want to do this. How about acting like a nurse with some compassion and putting yourself in their shoes. You could say ' hi allie (or whatever their name is) this is joe. How are you today? and I'm glad you asked that question.." It never hurts to brighten someone else's day. And you'll never know it, but it might be just enough to break the cycle of somebody's bad day. And depending on what they have to do next, it could affect their outcome of whatever that might be.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

At the hopsital I used to work at, when we answered the call bell we were supposed to say "How can I help you? I have time." *gag*

[wolf9653]

following policy, I'd occasionally answer the internal lines with (made up names to protect the guilty)

"Joan harry bismark medical hospital, division of american greedy corperation, Harry walton harding building, thirteenth floor, charles joan mackmacky wing, C3 surgical ward, MS Mary klein woolworth, registered nurse, wound care specialist speaking. How can I help you?"

At the hopsital I used to work at when we answered the call bell we were supposed to say "How can I help you? [i']I have time.[/i]" *gag*

[Davey Do]

Our geriatric psych unit was once known as "Gero".

Once upon a time, I answered the phone with the unit and my name "Gero- Dave".

The lady on the other end of the line, with a thick southern accent said, ""Gerald Dave, I was wonderin' if you could help me..."

Now I answer with "Geriatric psych- Dave".

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

Lay off the poor folk that are working a menial job. They don't want to do this. How about acting like a nurse with some compassion and putting yourself in their shoes. You could say ' hi allie (or whatever their name is) this is joe. How are you today? and I'm glad you asked that question.." It never hurts to brighten someone else's day. And you'll never know it, but it might be just enough to break the cycle of somebody's bad day. And depending on what they have to do next, it could affect their outcome of whatever that might be.

I wasn't disparaging the poor schlubs required to parrot this nonsense. It's more of an indictment on foolish corporate management "strategies".

[Wuzzie]

Lay off the poor folk that are working a menial job. They don't want to do this.

Hate to break it to you but we ARE the poor schlubs working a sometimes menial job and WE don't want to do it any more than anybody else does.

Now, have you anything more to say...I have the time.

[SummitRN, BSN, RN]

"Welcome to Smash Burger. What can we SMASH for you today?"

[SummitRN, BSN, RN]

Our geriatric psych unit was once known as "Gero".

Once upon a time, I answered the phone with the unit and my name "Gero- Dave".

The lady on the other end of the line, with a thick southern accent said, ""Gerald Dave, I was wonderin' if you could help me..."

Now I answer with "Geriatric psych- Dave".

I'd answer the MICU phone with "M I, Summit"

There was one doc who loved to ask. "I don't know, are you?"

[kakamegamama]

So my Husband and I are as northern as you can get, Boston accents and all. Fairly heavy ones, too. (watch the devil came up to Boston on you tube for an idea)

We moved to South Carolina about 8 years ago, and his job transfer fell through so he took a temp job handing out flyers for a politician.

They sent him to the most country of all country towns, on these side streets that were made of dirt and everyone knew everyone. He had to knock on peoples doors and say

" Hi I"m (wicked italian name) and I live right around the cornah, I'd love you to considah (whoever he was) foah (whatever he was running for). "

Riiiiggghhhttt, that was soooo believable.

Your husband was a veeerryy brave man . Having lived in the Boston area for 3 years, I grew to, ahem, appreciate the Bahston accent. Our daughter-in-law is the epitome of Bostonian accents & I love trying to translate what she says into Texan, my native language . Thanks for the fun walk down memory lane!

[JerseyTomatoMDCrab, BSN]

"We know you have options when it comes to your healthcare and we appreciate you choosing us to meet all of your wellness needs."

We were supposed to say that whenever we discharged someone from my last hospital job. It was nearly impossible to get the words out between all the bouts of vomiting.

[ohiobobcat]

"Is there anything else I can help you with? i have the time!!!" which I only ever said to my co-workers in jest.

Not a hospital, but I worked at a summer camp where one of my coworkers answered the phone "It's a great day at ___ ___ Camp!! How can I help you?" and she MEANT IT!! No one told her to say that!!! She obviously is not, nor has she ever been, a nurse!!

[Emergent, RN]

The people who come up with scripting are incredibly insulated and arrogant to think that anyone with an IQ 100 or greater can't figure out that they are being read lines. It's an insult to the employee, who apparently can't be trusted to be kind and friendly in a genuine manner. It's an insult to the customer or patient, who is deemed so gullible, and forced to sit through these canned little speeches. Any decent person feels a bit embarrassed for the poor worker bee who has to go through this charade.