I'm a sexless nurse

Nurses General Nursing

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I think I'm professional, but now I'm not so sure, after I told some American friends that as a male nurse, I don't catheterize women.

'That's sexist' was one of the kinder comments, while one of the more rational comments said - "We are professionals. As long as we behave in a professional way, then we should all have to do the same job."

I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.

Am I the only male who thinks that it is harder for a female patient as well as for a male nurse to do such an intimate procedure?

Am I the only nurse who thinks that gender does matter? What harm does it cause if I choose not to do a procedure when there are capable people around who could do it just as well, plus make it easier for the patient. As a male nurse, I need a female chaperone if doing such a procedure on a woman anyway, so why not make it easier for everyone and simply keep the male out of it altogether?

But what does being a "Professional" mean? From what I'm hearing from others it sounds like I am a sexless machine capable of doing it all because that is what I am paid to do. Instead I think of myself as a caring carer. I have my faults and biases. I make mistakes and I sometimes let my feelings help make my decisions. But I have a big heart and I do the job because I care first. I enjoy making people laugh when they're sick. I enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives. I also do the job recognizing my faults, and if I ever think that my views/faults may jeopardize a patient, I know to get someone else to take over that patient's care. I guess I'm not a very successful Sexless Professional. But I can live with being called sexist and unprofessional, just because I sometimes refuse to do female catheterization. I'm sure there's a lot worse things I could be.

A couple of extra points to mention:

For the record, the female staff used to ask me to catheterize the men, and they'd do the same for my female patients, and we never had a problem.

Also it's strange, but apparently I'm allowed to catheterize little old ladies, but not young women. Sounds a bit ageist to me. Do the feelings of older people not matter as much as those of young people? Naturally I'd never contemplate such a procedure on a young woman.

Curious about your thoughts on this.

Specializes in Family practice, emergency.

I think we run into trouble when we assume. There is a male at my work that refuses to do female procedures. Once, I was in the room with him and a new pt, and he bluntly stated "I don't do female EKGs." The woman lightheartedly responded "It's ok, I work in healthcare, I understand." And the male nurse still refused to do it. The patient was obviously offended, I can only imagine that she assumed he would accuse her of inappropriate touching.

No matter who the person is, explain the procedure and address concerns.

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

STAFF NOTE: Stay on topic!

Specializes in L&D, OBED, NICU, Lactation.
I think I'm professional, but now I'm not so sure, after I told some American friends that as a male nurse, I don't catheterize women.

'That's sexist' was one of the kinder comments, while one of the more rational comments said - "We are professionals. As long as we behave in a professional way, then we should all have to do the same job."

I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.

Am I the only male who thinks that it is harder for a female patient as well as for a male nurse to do such an intimate procedure?

Am I the only nurse who thinks that gender does matter? What harm does it cause if I choose not to do a procedure when there are capable people around who could do it just as well, plus make it easier for the patient. As a male nurse, I need a female chaperone if doing such a procedure on a woman anyway, so why not make it easier for everyone and simply keep the male out of it altogether?

But what does being a "Professional" mean? From what I'm hearing from others it sounds like I am a sexless machine capable of doing it all because that is what I am paid to do. Instead I think of myself as a caring carer. I have my faults and biases. I make mistakes and I sometimes let my feelings help make my decisions. But I have a big heart and I do the job because I care first. I enjoy making people laugh when they're sick. I enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives. I also do the job recognizing my faults, and if I ever think that my views/faults may jeopardize a patient, I know to get someone else to take over that patient's care. I guess I'm not a very successful Sexless Professional. But I can live with being called sexist and unprofessional, just because I sometimes refuse to do female catheterization. I'm sure there's a lot worse things I could be.

A couple of extra points to mention:

For the record, the female staff used to ask me to catheterize the men, and they'd do the same for my female patients, and we never had a problem.

Also it's strange, but apparently I'm allowed to catheterize little old ladies, but not young women. Sounds a bit ageist to me. Do the feelings of older people not matter as much as those of young people? Naturally I'd never contemplate such a procedure on a young woman.

Curious about your thoughts on this.

I'm a little late to the party and I wasn't going to read all 301 comments before mine.

As a nurse who happens to be a dude, I do find some of your points interesting, especially that you need a chaperone to do a catheter on a patient. For the record, we need a second person in the room, but that is for maintenance of sterility and nothing to do with chaperones. Second, since I work in labor & delivery (and NICU and lactation and antepartum, etc), I would literally need a second nurse with me at all times since much of what I do would fall under the definition of intimate touch. Unless I actually need something, I don't want someone else in the room because it can mess with the rapport I've built with my patient and their family.

As a guy I absolutely know and understand that some of my patients don't want any male caregivers or they may want no male nurses or no male techs or they may just not want me. I never assume any of these are true when I walk into the room to introduce myself because patients can feel when you are unsure or even remotely uncomfortable about being there. I have definitely excused myself after introductions to make a switch with another nurse because I sensed the patient was uncomfortable, it's no sweat off my back and I don't take it personally, it's their birth experience and I'm not going to ruin it.

I must be doing something right because patients come in asking for me to take care of them.

While I can see the points you are trying to make, I simply have not had the same experiences you have. Frankly if I did, it would be difficult for me to succeed in my specialty and to keep remaining in my role as a nurse.

Specializes in UR/PA, Hematology/Oncology, Med Surg, Psych.

As a professional nurse, you need to be competent with ALL nursing skills. A nurse cannot make a blanket statement such as I don't like inserting IVs or I don't feel comfortable assisting a male with the urinal, and therefore never perform the task. The fact that some women would not like a foley inserted by a male nurse, does not get you out of doing some female insertions because many women have no problem with it. If the patient expresses a preference for a female, fine, have a female insert the foley If the patient does not, then you need to place that foley and get over being so uncomfortable. That is called being a professional.

Can I add, that most females are uncomfortable with this procedure being done REGARDLESS of the sex of their nurse. They blush and we have to build trust too before we can care for the most intimate parts of anyone's bodies. It isn't as though they just relax and open up just because we are the same sex. Maybe the OP is misinterpreting the response of his patients as being a male/female issue and not a female/cath issue.

Can I add I will cath any patient if you feel uncomfortable? When I see that urine in the tube it's like I've struck GOLD!

Specializes in hospice.
STAFF NOTE: Stay on topic!

I'm sorry, I just have that voice from SpongeBob in my head going, "12 hours later....."

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

Quote===

It is ok for a nurse not to be comfortable doing something.

It is ok for a nurse to choose not to do something.===Quote

Uh,No,not really...It is the nurses responsibility to seek employment in an area he or she is comfortable working in.The patients deserves care delivered in a professional manner.....

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
The OP was not talking about becoming aroused by cathing a female.

I believe someone else made the comment that men get aroused at the sight of female genitalia. It was quite a while back but if you're in the mood for some bizarre reading, it's here somewhere. ;)

The OP was not talking about becoming aroused by cathing a female.

The OP definitely was not talking about that, but another poster on here did mention how hard it apparently is for men in nursing to be professional when caring for a women. The poster made it seem like it's scientifically impossible for a man to NOT be aroused in that situation. I would assume that's what 68W-to-66HM5 was referring to.

Judging by all of the comments I've seen from you on this post, I feel confident that you are the one embarrassed and uncomfortable about the situation, not your patients. Your heart may have good intentions but you are unnecessarily sexualizing a standard procedure. Like many other commenters, I can confirm with you that women are very used to males in the gynecological field and are only going to show uncertainty if A) they have never had a catheterization performed, or B) you are showing hesitation or discomfort in performing it. It's not "doing that" to a woman. It's not sex or a sexual act. I had a male ob-gyn deliver my own first child, there were a lot of things we could say he "did" to me, but neither of us batted and eye because we both understood what each of us were there for.

I have 3 daughters ranging from 8-13 months and I am absolutely okay with a male professional nurse or doctor doing anything medically related to my child. Maybe it's time to hang the ol' scrubs up and call your career a day if this is truly how you feel. I would be highly offended if my male nurse felt as if he couldn't CATH me bc I am female and he was male.

Thanks for this, because this comment sums up a certain hardness I feel has crept into not just nurses, but society. Does this mean that all the people I've helped over the years, all the good I've done, the extra-yards I've put in and the happy patients and families, mean nothing? Does this mean that Nurse Shelley, who is nearing retirement, and can't put in IV's very well anymore, shouldn't be on the ward, even though she is the one we turn to for advice, time and again, because her experience is so vast and helpful. Where is the team spirit? Where is the compassion towards our fellow nurse?

Thanks for this, because this comment sums up a certain hardness I feel has crept into not just nurses, but society. Does this mean that all the people I've helped over the years, all the good I've done, the extra-yards I've put in and the happy patients and families, mean nothing? Does this mean that Nurse Shelley, who is nearing retirement, and can't put in IV's very well anymore, shouldn't be on the ward, even though she is the one we turn to for advice, time and again, because her experience is so vast and helpful. Where is the team spirit? Where is the compassion towards our fellow nurse?

What? No. I'm saying that if you feel like you cannot (due to your own personal feelings not anyone else's) do very important precedures on half, if not more of our patients why are you in this profession?

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