I think I'm professional, but now I'm not so sure, after I told some American friends that as a male nurse, I don't catheterize women.
'That's sexist' was one of the kinder comments, while one of the more rational comments said - "We are professionals. As long as we behave in a professional way, then we should all have to do the same job."
I naturally asked 'does this mean we're nurses first, and men/women second?' and they didn't give a concise answer.
Am I the only male who thinks that it is harder for a female patient as well as for a male nurse to do such an intimate procedure?
Am I the only nurse who thinks that gender does matter? What harm does it cause if I choose not to do a procedure when there are capable people around who could do it just as well, plus make it easier for the patient. As a male nurse, I need a female chaperone if doing such a procedure on a woman anyway, so why not make it easier for everyone and simply keep the male out of it altogether?
But what does being a "Professional" mean? From what I'm hearing from others it sounds like I am a sexless machine capable of doing it all because that is what I am paid to do. Instead I think of myself as a caring carer. I have my faults and biases. I make mistakes and I sometimes let my feelings help make my decisions. But I have a big heart and I do the job because I care first. I enjoy making people laugh when they're sick. I enjoy being able to make a difference in people's lives. I also do the job recognizing my faults, and if I ever think that my views/faults may jeopardize a patient, I know to get someone else to take over that patient's care. I guess I'm not a very successful Sexless Professional. But I can live with being called sexist and unprofessional, just because I sometimes refuse to do female catheterization. I'm sure there's a lot worse things I could be.
A couple of extra points to mention:
For the record, the female staff used to ask me to catheterize the men, and they'd do the same for my female patients, and we never had a problem.
Also it's strange, but apparently I'm allowed to catheterize little old ladies, but not young women. Sounds a bit ageist to me. Do the feelings of older people not matter as much as those of young people? Naturally I'd never contemplate such a procedure on a young woman.
All women are perfectly okay with a male nurse inserting a urinary catheter. They understand it is a medical procedure, not a sexual act.
Is the OP's problem solved?
No, it isn't, because he has made it perfectly clear that this is not the only problem here. He has stated outright that he is uncomfortable doing it, and doesn't like it. He has stated that as everyone has their "likes and dislikes," these preferences should be accommodated. He even went so far as to state (in response to the post which took the understanding tone that of course male nurses will feel aroused at the sight of an exposed lady parts) that the BEST way to cure a man of lady parts lust is to put him in the position of seeing them often, as he was when he was put into an OB/GYN unit.
Clearly the OP has some issues with being uncomfortable and possibly even grossed out by having to deal with female anatomy. I don't relish getting a catheter, and I doubt any person does. But it would go from uncomfortable/embarrassing to humiliating to know that my allegedly professional caregiver was about to hurl because he is being forced to do this procedure on me. How insulting.
Given this, maybe the OP is the last person who should be performing this task. If I were the supervisor on this unit, I wouldn't want this on my floor, because now that there is the accepted concept out there that because everyone has "their likes and dislikes," I will have to accommodate all of them, not just the OP's. I don't even want to think about what a pain it will be to make assignments with every person's preferences in mind. No, I want versatile, professional nurses who can put their own personal feelings aside and do their job. I don't want to hear that Nancy can't handle diarrhea and Bill refuses to work with phlegm. If Laura cannot work with gays because it's against her religion and Dan refuses to work with an active alcoholic because he doesn't believe in drinking, Patsy can't work with HIV positives because she's terrified of a needle stick, etc., I'm going to go nuts. I need everyone to have the skills to do their jobs well. If you don't do a procedure often, you will get rusty, and between that and the judgmental attitudes, that's just not good for the patients.
I think that the OP is using the assertion that deep down all women really don't want a male nurse performing caths on them as a strawman when the real issue is his own discomfort. The fact that some women in fact do feel that way doesn't change the fact that it's really not the main issue here.
This post really tells me that this whole thing has every bit as much (if not more) to do with the OP's personal issues with performing peri care on a woman than it is about whether or not women really all do prefer to not have male nurses working "down there." I think the women's feelings about this is just a convenient excuse.
Oh my goodness - this has nothing to do with sexuality/being turned on. Bloody hell, if you ever want to turn a guy off women, put them in the gynae ward, that will work every time.
I trade off trach care for aromatic wound dressings with a coworker who hates them, should we not be nurses ? Saying I don't like doing a procedure is hardly grounds for "leaving the profession". And YES I feel very hurl-y when I do have to do it. Gimme a break.
I believe someone else made the comment that men get aroused at the sight of female genitalia. It was quite a while back but if you're in the mood for some bizarre reading, it's here somewhere.
The OP definitely was not talking about that, but another poster on here did mention how hard it apparently is for men in nursing to be professional when caring for a women. The poster made it seem like it's scientifically impossible for a man to NOT be aroused in that situation. I would assume that's what 68W-to-66HM5 was referring to.
I know - thanks. But I'm kind of a stickler for correct info and really, even with the response of the OP to the quote noted a few posts back (and below here), the OP was not saying HIS concern had anything to do with the act of sex. I think the name of his thread is misleading folks.
from nursingaround1
Oh my goodness - this has nothing to do with sexuality/being turned on.
Bloody hell, if you ever want to turn a guy off women, put them in the gynae ward, that will work every time.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I trade off trach care for aromatic wound dressings with a coworker who hates them, should we not be nurses ? Saying I don't like doing a procedure is hardly grounds for "leaving the profession". And YES I feel very hurl-y when I do have to do it. Gimme a break.
Trading off track care or a funky wound is not the same thing as refusing to care for three quarters of the census.And good for you for having the skill to manipulate a co-worker.Wouldn't it be mature of you to work through the tasks you find most unpleasant?What a great opportunity for growth...n
If a female patient doesn't want a male nurse catching them, it's kind of out of your hands cause that is her right as a patient.
A male nurse who doesn't want to cath females is an entirely different story. If your female patient doesn't want you to cath her, great, you're off the hook. If facility policy dictates male employees do not cath female patients, great, off the hook. If a female coworker and you have some sort of arrangement whereby she does that for you and you do some unsavory task for her, off the hook again.
But just saying "it makes me uncomfortable" is not a good enough reason. Sometimes, oftentimes, we just have to suck it up and do those tasks we do not like because that is our duty as a nurse.
Trading off track care or a funky wound is not the same thing as refusing to care for three quarters of the census.And good for you for having the skill to manipulate a co-worker.Wouldn't it be mature of you to work through the tasks you find most unpleasant?What a great opportunity for growth...n
Horseshoe, BSN, RN
5,879 Posts
Let's say for argument the following:
All women are perfectly okay with a male nurse inserting a urinary catheter. They understand it is a medical procedure, not a sexual act.
Is the OP's problem solved?
No, it isn't, because he has made it perfectly clear that this is not the only problem here. He has stated outright that he is uncomfortable doing it, and doesn't like it. He has stated that as everyone has their "likes and dislikes," these preferences should be accommodated. He even went so far as to state (in response to the post which took the understanding tone that of course male nurses will feel aroused at the sight of an exposed lady parts) that the BEST way to cure a man of lady parts lust is to put him in the position of seeing them often, as he was when he was put into an OB/GYN unit.
Clearly the OP has some issues with being uncomfortable and possibly even grossed out by having to deal with female anatomy. I don't relish getting a catheter, and I doubt any person does. But it would go from uncomfortable/embarrassing to humiliating to know that my allegedly professional caregiver was about to hurl because he is being forced to do this procedure on me. How insulting.
Given this, maybe the OP is the last person who should be performing this task. If I were the supervisor on this unit, I wouldn't want this on my floor, because now that there is the accepted concept out there that because everyone has "their likes and dislikes," I will have to accommodate all of them, not just the OP's. I don't even want to think about what a pain it will be to make assignments with every person's preferences in mind. No, I want versatile, professional nurses who can put their own personal feelings aside and do their job. I don't want to hear that Nancy can't handle diarrhea and Bill refuses to work with phlegm. If Laura cannot work with gays because it's against her religion and Dan refuses to work with an active alcoholic because he doesn't believe in drinking, Patsy can't work with HIV positives because she's terrified of a needle stick, etc., I'm going to go nuts. I need everyone to have the skills to do their jobs well. If you don't do a procedure often, you will get rusty, and between that and the judgmental attitudes, that's just not good for the patients.
I think that the OP is using the assertion that deep down all women really don't want a male nurse performing caths on them as a strawman when the real issue is his own discomfort. The fact that some women in fact do feel that way doesn't change the fact that it's really not the main issue here.
This post really tells me that this whole thing has every bit as much (if not more) to do with the OP's personal issues with performing peri care on a woman than it is about whether or not women really all do prefer to not have male nurses working "down there." I think the women's feelings about this is just a convenient excuse.