If You Could Have Any Skill to Deal with Difficult People -- What Would It Be?

[PancakeSaturdays]

Hey everyone,

What skills do you wish you had more of to help you deal with difficult people at work?

(For example:

• Ability to say no” without feeling like a jerk
  
• Not let people's bad attitudes get to you
  
• Ability to stay calm when annoyed
  
• Knowing how to deal with gossip / negativity
  
• etc.)
  

[PancakeSaturdays]

I wish I could deal with difficult people by remaining calm throughout the encounter AND not rehashing it in my mind after it's over.

Ug. Rehashing.... the bane of my existence. :/

What do you find you do / feel in the moment instead of feeling calm?

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I think the ability to stay calm when annoyed - I have worked in one for of psych or another for 17 years so I have a pretty cool temperament. While I am friendly at work - I rarely socialize with co-workers when I am not working. I sort of look at myself as a stealth bomber. I fly in and do my job and fly out. I am a floater at my current facility and may be on as many as 3 different units during a shift so I have to be pretty easy going and flexible.

Hppy

[Pca_85revived, LPN]

If it's a serious question, the ability not to bring their comments and actions home with me.

If not so serious, invisibility. Hands down.

[PancakeSaturdays]

I think the ability to stay calm when annoyed - I have worked in one for of psych or another for 17 years so I have a pretty cool temperament. While I am friendly at work - I rarely socialize with co-workers when I am not working. I sort of look at myself as a stealth bomber. I fly in and do my job and fly out. I am a floater at my current facility and may be on as many as 3 different units during a shift so I have to be pretty easy going and flexible.

Hppy

I'll bet your flexible, cool temperament + stealth bomber (hee hee) approach would be big helps in helping you stay calm when annoyed.

What do you typically do when you're annoyed but not calm? (E.g. bottle it, get snippy, get quiet, etc....)

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

Klingon Cloaking Device

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

You crack me up. :)

I wasn't kidding.

[RNexplorer]

I wish I could handle difficult people by being more assertive rather than emotional. Sometimes I just have to shut my mouth because I feel tears welling up inside and don't want other people to see that. But then I get trampled on by bullies/people who take advantage of "nice people."

[Guttercat, ASN, RN]

Vulcan nerve pinch.

Best Allnurses post of all time.

End thread.

[PancakeSaturdays]

If it's a serious question, the ability not to bring their comments and actions home with me.

If not so serious, invisibility. Hands down.

Thanks for both answers. (And yes, it's a serious question. :)

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

"and make the quickest exit ever" -- :) Ha!

I really like your goal​, missmollie -- to be both effective and kind at the same time. Love it. Have you ever seen anyone be able to do that? Shut down nonproductive convo in a way that's not abrupt or hurtful?

If so, what did they do or not do?

I'm usually not in the room with another nurse. The best I do: I will listen to the patient/family/friends talk about their experiences, and when I leave I make a mental note to ask them to continue the next time I'm in the room. I give them the time to speak and have, on occasion, even sat down with them while they talk. I work on a progressive care floor, and if most of my patients are just about ready for acute care, I have this time.

It's when I have two patient fresh from the ICU, bumped down because space was needed, and one patient/family that I've had before, almost ready for acute care, and I've provided that service to them before. That family believes that I really do have the time, which I only did because of the census I had when said patient arrived to the unit. Suddenly, I don't have the time, and they always seem surprised that I can't. I understand as I've created this situation to begin with.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to not give that time at all, but sometimes it's needed. Allowing people to tell a story about why they're in the hospital or about something that isn't related to the visit gives them a much needed reprieve from the stress they might be experiencing. It also lets them know that the nurses in progressive care have as much time as the ICU nurses to care for their loved ones.

Any thoughts or ideas for me?

[hawaiicarl, BSN, RN]

Disintegration ray!

[Julius Seizure]

Ability of stay composed in confrontational situations. No matter how much I've prepared what I am gonna say, even if I feel pretty confident....my face flushes bright red uncontrollably!