If You Could Have Any Skill to Deal with Difficult People -- What Would It Be?

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Hey everyone,

What skills do you wish you had more of to help you deal with difficult people at work?

(For example:

  • Ability to say no” without feeling like a jerk
  • Not let people's bad attitudes get to you
  • Ability to stay calm when annoyed
  • Knowing how to deal with gossip / negativity
  • etc.)

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The skill I would most like to use with difficult people at work is the Jedi mind trick, but of the options you have listed, I would most like the ability to stay calm when annoyed.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Vulcan nerve pinch.

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Specializes in Medical-Surgical/Float Pool/Stepdown.

Mind control :ninja:

The ability to always sound professional in the face of attitude! It makes putting boundaries in place way more effective usually.

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The ability to not show it when I'm nervous. I hate it. Especially when dealing with a recalcitrant doc or nurse who is bound and determined to pick out every single flaw in every single thing you do, no matter how small or ridiculous. I want the ability to have an unwavering poker face/body, and not let it show in the least that they are getting to me.

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Specializes in Neuroscience.

I'd like to be able to effectively shut down nonproductive conversation in a room so I can move on to my next patient, but do it in a way that isn't abrupt or hurtful to the family/patient. Right now, I interrupt at the end of the sentence with "That's really interesting! I'll be back in thirty minutes, please hit your call light if the patient needs anything." I then proceed with swiftness and speed to the door, and make the quickest exit ever.

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The skill I would most like to use with difficult people at work is the Jedi mind trick, but of the options you have listed, I would most like the ability to stay calm when annoyed.

Hee hee....what would you want to do if you could do the Jedi mind trick?

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Vulcan nerve pinch.

You crack me up. :)

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Mind control :ninja:

The ability to always sound professional in the face of attitude! It makes putting boundaries in place way more effective usually.

Ohhhh, yes. That's good.

If you're willing to say, what's your natural tendency in the face of attitude?

For me it depends on the person, but I can tend to either get sarcastic, scolding, or - if I'm intimidated by the person - I can go silent. Yuck on each of those!

I totally agree with you that remaining professional makes implementing boundaries far more effective.

P.S. Your bio says you're from Englewood; I'm from the Springs! :)

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I wish I could deal with difficult people by remaining calm throughout the encounter AND not rehashing it in my mind after it's over.

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The ability to not show it when I'm nervous. I hate it. Especially when dealing with a recalcitrant doc or nurse who is bound and determined to pick out every single flaw in every single thing you do, no matter how small or ridiculous. I want the ability to have an unwavering poker face/body, and not let it show in the least that they are getting to me.

Poker body, heh heh. :)

You're so not alone in wishing nerves wouldn't show!

In fact, when I help clients who have to work with (or be related to) really difficult people of the critical ilk you described, a significant portion of the time is spent just learning how to remain calm. Then I even work with them on how to relax their face and body so that their anxiety doesn't "show."

Kinda weird. Most people would think that in therapy (I'm a therapist -- did I say that? Work with a lot of nurses. I like y'all.) there's a lot of talk about feelings.

And sometimes feeling are what we talk about.

But when I'm helping someone learn how to deal with critical (or condescending, narcissistic, or "taker") people, I'm often teaching them how to strategize and act. At least until the new skills start coming more naturally.

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I'd like to be able to effectively shut down nonproductive conversation in a room so I can move on to my next patient, but do it in a way that isn't abrupt or hurtful to the family/patient. Right now, I interrupt at the end of the sentence with "That's really interesting! I'll be back in thirty minutes, please hit your call light if the patient needs anything." I then proceed with swiftness and speed to the door, and make the quickest exit ever.

"and make the quickest exit ever" -- :) Ha!

I really like your goal​, missmollie -- to be both effective and kind at the same time. Love it. Have you ever seen anyone be able to do that? Shut down nonproductive convo in a way that's not abrupt or hurtful?

If so, what did they do or not do?

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