PancakeSaturdays

Thanks meanmaryjean, DNP, RN! Super-helpful!

Thanks Davey Do! As an aside, I had to look up "Wrongway Regional Medical Center," and found a link to a post you made after meeting the CNO. Thass some good stuff. Pics and all. The title "The Hypocritical Superfluous Dog & Pony Show Safety Review Day Inservice" also had me LOL'ing. :) If you were to guess (or if you know), who's in charge of deciding on / posting the learning courses on the website? Thanks if you've got thoughts.

Hi everyone! I've got a question I'd love to get your input about. Do healthcare facilities ever offer nurses online trainings? Like for nurses' own personal development? If so, I was wondering who organizes such trainings? HR? Director of Nursing? Nurse Manager/Supervisor? Thanks for any input you've got!

Sure, Ceesmom. The training helps stressed out nurses who hate conflict learn skills that make them feel confident and calm -- even around difficult people or conflict. I'm not sure whether or not it fits the forum protocol to post a link here, so just send me a PM requesting the link. I'll get you connected to more info!

Of course I wish you never had to be accosted by verbally abusive folks in the first place (!), but since there's no changing others -- those would be fabulous skills to have!

Thanks, Marisette, for your response. I think when individuals themselves aren't rude, it's often difficult for them to know how to respond to those who are because (on top of the rudeness) -- the behavior is so unexpected. Not what we're taught about decent interaction. I wonder if the hierarchical nature of the medical field fosters this kind of [rude/dismissive] behavior for some physicians(?) Top of the pyramid syndrome.

Honest, self-aware answers like this are my faves! Most folks who engage in passive-aggressive communication aren't aware that they are doing it. Love that you know it! Thanks for your candor, KiusLady.

That makes sense. Thanks for your input!

a better, more subtle influencer is how I see it

Ya, that makes sense. Feeling too much is difficult in any job, but I think especially in a vocation like nursing. So much pain and discontent in the room. Too much if one is absorbing it all.

I'd love to hear how it goes!

Julius Seizure, hello! I remember you from an emotionally-in-touch comment you made on a different post of mine. And here you are again.... with another self-aware comment! I wonder if guided visualization would help create a different outcome in confrontational situations(?) (Guided visualization sounds el-weirdo, but just entails using one's imagination to help get his/her body and emotions to do what s/he want them to do in tense situations. Like what athletes do before a free throw, poll vault, dive, etc.)

Hmmm…. Well, let's see where we're at. Sounds like you don't want withhold giving them the time, though that clearly would solve the problem by creating consistency. But you don't want to do that because you really value providing the reprieve (them sharing something personal like a story) and care. It's like your practical needs (time, needing to move onto next patient) are colliding with your care and intuition (knowing it's good for them to be able to share a story, share a different side of themselves besides being a patient). It seems to me that since you're going to do a hybrid (sometimes listen for a while, sometimes not), you need a firm way of communicating what they can expect. Since you will sometimes be offering time and other times will be offering to get stuff done! So -- how to communicate really clearly what they can expect? Hmmm. I'm going to assume that most of the time, you don't have the time for a long listen. That a longer listen is more of the exception. If that's the case, then maybe the standard message you want to send is busy, busy, busy. Am here to take care of things.” You're attention is primarily on your task. Your tone is friendly, but does not draw them out too much, as you'll have to cut them off momentarily. Your tone when you need to leave is definitive, a statement. Not a question. When you need to leave, you don't linger. What you say accords with your non-verbals (Well -- gotta boot scoot,” or something affirming, You're doing great on resting; keep up the good work.”). Then the exit. On the occasion that you're able to talk longer, maybe give a cue like (verbal) I don't normally have time to talk to you as much as I'd like, but [reason I have the time now]. How are you doing?” Non-verbal communication would match, as you slow down, turn entirely to them, or maybe sit down. The I don't normally….” would educate them to not expect it generally. This is the exception to the rule,” is the metamessage. *** Personally, this is something I had to re-learn. I always thought I had to be the lingerer, waiting for the other person to say THEY had to go first. Except thaaaat doesn't make for much margin in life! In fact, in my Happy, Healthy Nurse training, I was *just* writing a worksheet about how to use vocal tone to cue people as to what to expect from you. It's an art and a science. I learned a lot from observing others in all kinds of situations, and saw that when someone's directing another person (like "I'm leaving"), there are common vocal tones that are used, as well as other common non-verbals. That's my very loooong response to your question! :) Let me know if you've got more thoughts.

Thanks so much for your honest and candid response, RNexplorer. I wish I had a magic wand you could wave that would make the bullies disappear. Or that would instantly give you the assertiveness you want.

Sure thing! When you're a bit of a research nerd, charting stuff like that is actually kinda fun! :)