If You Could Have Any Skill to Deal with Difficult People -- What Would It Be?

[PancakeSaturdays]

Hey everyone,

What skills do you wish you had more of to help you deal with difficult people at work?

(For example:

• Ability to say no” without feeling like a jerk
  
• Not let people's bad attitudes get to you
  
• Ability to stay calm when annoyed
  
• Knowing how to deal with gossip / negativity
  
• etc.)
  

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Stop being annoyed at things you can not control. You are there to work, not to find your next best bud. Make yourself a life outside of work. Make sure your down time is relaxing and fun outside of work. And don't get into the gossip thing. Plain and simple, don't allow yourself to be sucked in. "I don't know, I don't want to know, if you will excuse me...".

You can do all this without seeming aloof and a non-team player. Give credit where due ("thank you so much for....." "Awesome report, thank you!" "You did great!") Otherwise, nursing is too busy to get involved in the fray.

Best wishes!

[KiusLady, ASN, RN]

I have a bad habit of getting passive-aggressive when dealing with people who are being difficult (either deliberately out of a need to be "in control" or because they themselves are getting flustered). Though I getting *much* better at reining in my snark in my old age, it's still something I need to work on.

[PancakeSaturdays]

Hi,

I work in a Psych ER and the one thing that you need is patience. That is what I struggle with sometimes. Because you can see the same patients over and over again like a revolving door and it wears you down emotionally and physically.

That makes sense. Thanks for your input!

[PancakeSaturdays]

I have a bad habit of getting passive-aggressive when dealing with people who are being difficult (either deliberately out of a need to be "in control" or because they themselves are getting flustered). Though I getting *much* better at reining in my snark in my old age, it's still something I need to work on.

Honest, self-aware answers like this are my faves! Most folks who engage in passive-aggressive communication aren't aware that they are doing it. Love that you know it!

Thanks for your candor, KiusLady.

[malamud69, BSN, RN]

The ability to morph into a giant cookie monster type character...devour them with impunity....and go on with my day! Or...a magic wand.

[Marisette, BSN, RN]

I would like to know how to respond to rude coworkers and phsysicians who refuse to answer a question cordially. Instead, they respond inappropriately by telling the messenger that they should know the answer to the question they are asking or they appear to be to busy and important to respond to someone as insignificant as they believe me to be. There must be something about medical care providers, that fosters this type of behavior. These same people will change their behavior whenever they encounter managers or people in authority. I just don't understand the behavior or how to respond to it.

[PancakeSaturdays]

I would like to know how to respond to rude coworkers and phsysicians who refuse to answer a question cordially. Instead, they respond inappropriately by telling the messenger that they should know the answer to the question they are asking or they appear to be to busy and important to respond to someone as insignificant as they believe me to be. There must be something about medical care providers, that fosters this type of behavior. These same people will change their behavior whenever they encounter managers or people in authority. I just don't understand the behavior or how to respond to it.

Thanks, Marisette, for your response.

I think when individuals themselves aren't rude, it's often difficult for them to know how to respond to those who are because (on top of the rudeness) -- the behavior is so unexpected. Not what we're taught about decent interaction.

I wonder if the hierarchical nature of the medical field fosters this kind of [rude/dismissive] behavior for some physicians(?)

Top of the pyramid syndrome.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I'd like to possess the ability to remain cool and collected when accosted by a verbally abusive patient or family member, as well as the charm and de-escalation skills to calm the other party down.

[PancakeSaturdays]

I'd like to possess the ability to remain cool and collected when accosted by a verbally abusive patient or family member, as well as the charm and de-escalation skills to calm the other party down.

Of course I wish you never had to be accosted by verbally abusive folks in the first place (!), but since there's no changing others -- those would be fabulous skills to have!

[ceesmom]

I am interested in the happy healthy nurse program you mentioned. Where can I get more info?

[PancakeSaturdays]

I am interested in the happy healthy nurse program you mentioned. Where can I get more info?

Sure, Ceesmom.

The training helps stressed out nurses who hate conflict learn skills that make them feel confident and calm -- even around difficult people or conflict.

I'm not sure whether or not it fits the forum protocol to post a link here, so just send me a PM requesting the link. I'll get you connected to more info!

[ceesmom]

I can't pm you, but you could probably pm me. I haven't posted enough for that privilege.