KiusLady

I worked as a COVID nurse for about six months. It got a little too much for me (not so much because I was losing patients - I was in a department that took care of *stable* COVID patients); it was the staffing (lack of), the constant policy changes (sometimes several w/in the same shift) and the general lack of support from administration after the pandemic had been trucking along for a while. I switched departments and am now in MH. Liking it much better. COVID is still very much a thing in my hospital, but things are slowly easing up thanks to the vaccine. We just started allow visitors again, but that could lock back down again at any moment if we get another surge in our area.

Totally agreeing w/ a couple previous comments: I'm hearing Depression. It sounds like you started your education passionate and excited, but now everything in life has a dull film over it despite being good at what you're doing and being noticed in a positive way. It most certainly wouldn't hurt to speak with a therapist, or even just a close, trusted friend to get a little objective perspective on if things really have shifted. Sometimes just the conversation alone is enough. You may need more extensive counseling or even meds. It's okay. Keep in mind that we're living in some trying times, and folks who never had problems with their mental health before are suddenly struggling (and those *with* pre-existing issues are having an even harder time of it!) I also agree w/ folks about being carful to not entangle your identity w/ your career. No external object/profession/relationship is going to provide that shiny "I'll be happy only when [fill in the blank] happens/is achieved". "Happiness is an inside job" after all. Was your intent in going into nursing just to have the hallowed title of Nurse/RN? Lastly, it is also perfectly fine to drop any job/career like a bad habit if you realize it's not working for you. No shame in getting all the way through nursing school just to realize, "Uh, not for me yo." It happens (more than you think). Don't beat yourself up about it and don't feel you frantically NEED to find the right fit immediately. It's okay to "just work for a pay check" until the Right Thing™ comes along.

All great advice!! In my first half of nursing school I found that taking notes from the PowerPoint (and textbook) before class and then filling them out further during lecture worked very well. This strategy wasn't quite cutting it in the second half though. I found what worked best was to keep doing what I was already doing, but also boil the unit objectives down to index cards: one card per objective, and really focus on that information (plus anything else the teacher seemed to really emphasize during class). This slight shift in focus helped a lot and helped me use my study time more efficiently.

Thx much for the feedback! Certainly makes a lot of sense on that front.

It's looking like I just might graduate nursing school in a few weeks and with that (after passing my boards), I'll be working as a fer real nurse, wearing fer real scrubs. I've been curious about scrub skirts. In general I enjoy wearing skirts in warmer weather and that'll likely transfer to working on a floor too. In my limited research, I've found nurses tend to only wear scrub skirts these days for religious reasons. Does anyone out there though wear scrub skirts "just for the hell of it"? They seem plenty long enough and have all the pockets one could want. Thoughts?

If you want to try dipping your toes in the water before going head-long into a nursing program, try getting a second job as a home-care aid. Some don't require any type of certifications or medical degrees; they'll train you on-the-job for that particular situation. The pay typically isn't all that great, but if you have a well-paying job already then this won't be an issue. Hours will be flexible and work around your life. Still, it can be really helpful with those common sense and critical thinking skills that you want to strengthen (as Nurse Beth said, those skills really can be learned). While I was between jobs, I worked as an in-home caregiver. It was incredibly rewarding and I learned a lot. It's one of the many steps along my path to finally taking the plunge and going to nursing school (I had always assumed that nursing would be far too hard for me to manage) Best of luck in your endeavors!

Disclaimer: I'm not a nurse, a baby nurse, or even a "fetal" nurse (as in I'm not even in nursing school yet, but I've taken my pre-req's and will be slamming through gen-eds this spring and summer. I'll know in a couple months if I made it into the nursing program, which will start this fall). That all being said: Nursing certainly wasn't my first profession of choice. So much to know, so much responsibility, so scary. Paired with my general dislike for our grand medical establishment (doctors who don't listen, policies that seem to defy common sense when it comes to patient care, chronic unsafe staffing ratios, etc, etc). Despite all that, I've been drawn to the healing arts for a very long time. I like helping people. I've been a doula for about ten years now and the two times in my professional career that I've been between jobs, I've always come really close to getting schooling in some medical care field; but I've always gotten a job again in my first field of study before getting too far. Working as an in-home caregiver between jobs five years ago taught me a lot and I absolutely loved the work (even the icky parts). Caring for my rapidly-ailing father-in-law in the last month he was able to live at home two years ago also opened my eyes that I might just have it in me to pull off being a nurse. I was alone for most of that and had to deal with a couple non-life-threatening emergencies that - though certainly not fun - proved to me I had the resolve to handle such situations. Despite all that, it wasn't till I was knocked down with a debilitating illness early last year that I *finally* decided to seriously pursue nursing. I had a lot of downtime while recovering, so (because I soooo can't sit at home doing nothing) I applied to a local community college, got accepted and am currently barreling my way towards getting my Associate degree. The thought of being a nurse is still utterly terrifying (perhaps more so now that I'm gaining a little more knowledge as to just what I'm getting into), but that's a common feeling from what I've read. I want to do it. I want to help people. We'll see how it goes!! Good luck in your journey as well!

That method does sound like it'll be immensely helpful when I get to that point! Right now I'm just taking pre-req's, which is helping me a great deal get a feel for what I'll need to focus one in "real" nursing school. I noticed that the muscle unit gave me trouble in A&P Essentials, so before A&P 1, I plan on making a graphic using muscle names in the shape of the actual muscles, and then coding what they do (extend, flex, adduct, etc) and whether they're primaries or sympathetics.

I'm taking *Essentials* of A&P this semester as a pre-req for the real deal (because I heard A&P 1 & 2 are so tough). The nice thing is I love this stuff and took a much simpler version back in art school over 15 years ago. Having that pre-knowledge has helped, but there is still a *lot* to memorize! I'm kind of bummed we don't need to know how to spell things in this class as it'll promote laziness as things get tougher (all tests & quizzes will be multiple choice), so I've been taking the time to write things out. Because I *can* draw, I'll sketch out a quick, rough form and label the hell out of it; starting with the points I know already and then carefully copying out of the book things I don't. I pay close attention to spelling because it'll be important later. While driving, I run through the body parts we're learning that week; making mental notes of the ones I can't remember to look up later. I rattle off vocab to my niece and husband. In Karate class, if I have an opportunity to play with a fellow classmate, I'll throw light kicks or punches, identifying the parts of the body I'm hitting. It's all rote learning, but it builds upon itself since the naming conversions have purpose. Again, I *love* this stuff so I'm happy filling free moments with review. PS - I am loving that Halloween skeleton idea! Might have to go out and get one! :)

I have a bad habit of getting passive-aggressive when dealing with people who are being difficult (either deliberately out of a need to be "in control" or because they themselves are getting flustered). Though I getting *much* better at reining in my snark in my old age, it's still something I need to work on.

I'm finding that most people who bully tend to not even realize their behavior is inappropriate. To them, everyone else is mean or incompetent. There's a general lack of inborn empathy and a sense of "separatness" both self-initiated (as in being above the "mediocre masses"), and peer-driven as no one really wants to be around them. There's also a sense of powerlessness that they desperately try to hide and that gets expressed in making *others* feel powerless. There is of course those who consciously *know* they're are being deliberately and unnecessarily cruel. Those folks have serious issues, and that type of bully is a whole other animal; but I think the average, run-of-the-mill bully just doesn't know any better. Not to say what they're doing is okay or acceptable; they just don't realize they're bad apples. Of course it's possible for grown adults to change their behavior, but it takes a lot of honest self-assessment that's often too scary for most. Having others point bad behavior out to them is often just viewed as people being mean and not understanding them. I honestly think "getting them while they're young" is the best way to go. I feel the current anti-bullying campaigns that schools are leaping on falls short of solving the problem as they seem to just advocate "bullying is bad!" "Don't stand for bullying, be an ally!" All well and good, but it does nothing to *identify* bullying behavior; or how most kids have actually displayed bullying behavior at some point in their short lives; or to offer alternate ways to deal with a situation where an inappropriate action may be the natural choice for some.

I'm KiusLady all over the interwebz. Since I'm a blogger, utter and complete anonymity isn't the hugest priority for me. "Kius" (which has been spelled "Ciuss" in the past and "Kai'us" presently) refers to a race of beings I created on their own little world. (Yes, I'm working a book about it all).

Thx. I'll get that avatar changed.

I'm in my mid-30's. I've been in the graphics field for over fourteen years. And I just enrolled in my local community college with the hopes of getting into their nursing program early next year (this year will be spent slamming through my gen-ed's and pre-reqs while still working full-time). Seems like an odd leap on the surface, but like a fly against a window, I've been bouncing against this career option for a long, long time, I just never thought I had the mental and emotional fortitude to hack such an intense profession. But as I've always had a caring, nurturing disposition I've just naturally gravitated towards helping others. I've been a birth doula for about nine years (only attending four births though as I prefer to only doula for friends and family In between my previous and current jobs (about four years ago) I worked as an in-home caregiver to an elder quadriplegic gentleman in the last nine months of his life. I loved that job a great deal and I learned a lot. It was the first time I thought that maybe, just maybe I could pull off being a nurse. But still I feared I wasn't "strong" enough. Two things happened within the past year though that finally changed my mind about my inner strength: 1) Training for (and achieving) my second degree brown belt in Karate this past October and 2) Caring my ailing father-in-law in the last month he lived with my husband and I (he passed away four months later under hospice care; hubby wasn't present through any of this btw as he was away on travel The Karate test showed me I do indeed have the strength to push through physical and mental fatigue (plus it's pretty damned empowering being a small female barely tipping the scales at 110 pounds and fighting off guys nearly twice your size). Caring for my FIL showed me that though there were many instances I really didn't want to deal with (like an exploding colostomy), I had the mental wherewithal to think on my feet and deal with whatever problem his condition could throw at me. Never once did I show (or really even feel) disgust or pity while dealing with even the "ickiest" moments of his end-of-life care. I was simply filled with compassion for him; it was my (rather unintentional) job to alleviate his embarrassment and make sure he was as comfortable as possible. Yes it was frightening and exhausting, but I did it and was empowered by the experience. Then this month all the cogs seemed to align and it finally "felt right" to pursue this career I've been deliberately avoiding for years. My academic adviser has warned me (as she should) that the nursing field is tough. All I wanted to do was shine a light under my face and creepily say, "I've seen things..." Am I diving into this whole thing with blinders set by "good" past experiences? Or am I being cocky thinking I can handle the stresses of this tough and noble profession?