Actually, I lost all respect for two colleagues today. One is a brand new grad, about 21 or 22 and gorgeous in one of those fresh, "girl next door" ways. She gets her scrubs tailored so they fit her just so, her hair is long, shiny and falls in loose lustrous waves. She could be a model, so we'll call her Heidi. The other is a married neurosurgery fellow, whose wife is pregnant with his first child. We'll call him Dr. Dick, or just Dick.
Heidi didn't do anything to seriously endanger a patient: she didn't slam in Lasix, for example, or trickle in Adenosine. She didn't miss a run of VT (although, to be fair, the Clin Tech noticed it first and pointed it out to Heidi). She didn't ignore post-op pain or bleeding, and she wasn't the one sitting at the computer at the nurse's station, headphones on and watching a hockey game while ignoring monitor alarms and call bells. Nevertheless, I've completely lost respect for her.
It was a slow night for a Friday night -- half of our surgeons were out of town for a conference and of the remaining four, one just lost his mother and isn't back from the funeral in Asia. There's a new sushi restaurant near the hospital, and they deliver if you can put together a lucrative-enough order. The folks I work with are crazy about sushi and even the Respiratory Therapists and the X-ray techs were ordering $20 worth of sushi.
We were all sitting in the back -- well, not ALL of us. Half of us were sitting in the back, having drawn the long straw and were enjoying our sushi while the other half watched all of the patients. Heidi was sitting next to Dick, something that really didn't register with me at the time, and Dick was regaling us all with a tale about how his wife's incredible morning sickness caused her to toss her cookies in the waste basket of a patient's hospital room while the patient described in great detail the "unusual" nature of his poop. (Only nurses -- and surgeons, RTs and X-ray techs can sit around enjoying a good meal while describing poop and someone's vomiting episodes.)
And then I went back to relieve Steve, my substation partner so he could eat his sushi. While Steve was gone, his patient's attending surgeon stopped by and asked a question I couldn't answer, so I popped into the break room to ask him about it. Both Heidi and Dick were still there, only this time they were sharing a single chair. The sexual tension was palpable, and Steve looked thrilled to be interrupted. He shot out of the room as though he'd been fired from a cannon.
Heidi, it seems, has been sleeping with Dick since her arrival on our unit in July. She knows all about the pregnant wife . . .
Heidi may be a good clinician one day, she may be a compassionate and caring nurse. She may be a hard worker. But I will never again respect a woman who could sleep with a married man, a man whose wife is pregnant with their child and who is a sometimes-colleague on a consulting service. And the fact that they made no attempt to be discreet makes them even more contemptible. I've lived through the drama on a unit when an affair goes bad, witnessed a famously and flagrantly unfaithful surgeon's wife storm into the ICU demanding "which one of you ugly ******* is ******* my husband?" and making a good attempt to castrate the man in question. I've seen the aftermath of the DON being found going at it with the Medical Director of Emergency Medicine and I've lived through more nurses breaking up with doctors on our service than I can even remember. I've been the cheated-upon, and it was more painful than even I can describe. Why would you put someone else through that deliberately?
Keep it out of work, people. And if you cannot do that, at least be discreet.
IMHO - its never good to gossip especially at work. Since the break room was a private place, why does it matter what happens there as long as its private? The OP freely admits that "Heidi and "Dick's" behavior didn't compromise care.
IMHO - its never good to gossip especially at work. Since the break room was a private place, why does it matter what happens there as long as its private? The OP freely admits that "Heidi and "Dick's" behavior didn't compromise care.
It boils down to that, in my opinion. For those basing their opinions on moral codes, the Bible has a lot to say about gossip, and it's not supportive of rumor spreading behavior.
My department is currently gossiping that our ER nurse manager is having an affair with our ER director, who is a physician and one of our docs. I refuse to participate.
Their evidence? They have conversations behind a closed door and he stays late after work. Seriously?
Take a look at those of us who are fighting for gay equality and the rights for gays to marry, and then tell us that "support for marriage is at an all time low."
Somehow I don't think she's referring to gay marriage.
Ha, ha! My granddaughter, after her first day at college, remarked about all the "...sausages" that were hitting on her. Dick or Sausage, a rose by any other name......
Specializes in burn ICU, SICU, ER, Trauma Rapid Response.
I am single, I have no kids, and I have no ex-wives. As a new grad, I hope to sign-on at a place with a Heidi. Does this make me a bad person?...
No it doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe bad judgement. Anyway when you say new grad if you mean new grad RN you are wasting your time. The Heidi's of the world are not interested in men who make the same amount of money they do. You wouldn't have a chance.
Apperently you are not aware of the Universal Hot / Crazy matrix.
No it doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe bad judgement. Anyway when you say new grad if you mean new grad RN you are wasting your time. The Heidi's of the world are not interested in men who make the same amount of money they do. You wouldn't have a chance.
Apperently you are not aware of the Universal Hot / Crazy matrix.
Well they aren't a new grad, they just flunked out of nursing school, but they'll be in CRNA school in 18 months so they can have all the Heidi's they want.
traumaRUs, MSN, APRN
87 Articles; 21,287 Posts
Getting back to the topic:
IMHO - its never good to gossip especially at work. Since the break room was a private place, why does it matter what happens there as long as its private? The OP freely admits that "Heidi and "Dick's" behavior didn't compromise care.