I just lost it!

[Joe V]

Have you ever lost it at work, school, or during training? Share your stories...

[LeChien, BSN, RN]

My story is too embarrassing to share, but just want to let other nurses know you're not alone. I've lost it at work to the point of quitting on the spot (already gave report), never to return. It happens!

[Davey Do]

6 hours ago, Joe V said:

Have you ever lost it at work...? Share your stories...

I'll not only share my story, but also a cartoon I drew at the time, July 1998:

A long story, so I'll touch on the highlights. I was an ACT Nurse, stabbed by a psychotic client in February, and attempted to transfer out of ACT without luck. We had just started a new med training program, that I ran, and the supervisor and assistant supervisor called me in to allegedly disuss its status.

As soon as I sat down, they began making accusations and I felt attacked. I said, "I can't handle this right now". The supervisor said, "You WILL handle this right now!" I loudly repeated my statement and walked out.

In the end, I was suspended for over a week with pay, and got my transfer.

I guess you could say that I got something I wanted after I lost it.

[Joe V]

@Davey Do I knew this one was right up your alley. ??

Thanks for sharing!

[Davey Do]

Thanks, Joe.

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

"You WILL handle this right now!" 

After the supervisor said this, she said something else that I made into another cartoon:

 

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

I had a meltdown at work when the assistant department manager called me into her office and started in on me about some small infraction of the rules (I don’t remember which one—she made them up as she went along). Now, this ADM had a bug up her butt where I was concerned; she made it clear she didn’t like me and sabotaged me at every opportunity. She even tried to nail me once for a missing narcotic, only I hadn’t even clocked in yet and didn’t have the keys. 

I’d put up with this for a year and a half. But on that particular morning, I knew that I could not step out on that floor one. more. time. And a small but very sure voice in my ear said, “Are you crazy? Get out of here!” I hadn’t taken report, so I didn’t feel the least bit guilty as I marched into the DON’s office and turned in my badge. Strangely enough, she wasn’t at all upset with me and even advised me to file for unemployment, even though I was quitting. In retrospect I think she was glad to be rid of a “problem” employee, but at the time I just knew that unlike the ADM,  she was kind and empathetic. I cried in her office for what seemed like an hour. It was unprofessional, but at the time I didn’t care. I was just done!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I've never "lost it" or had a meltdown, and have always been pretty level headed and calm.  

The closet I've gotten was once years ago when I was in charge, a coworker was being belligerent with me I just ran off the floor and down the steps into the parking lot and paced until I calmed down.  I swear if I had my keys I would have drove away.  Karma took care of things as she was later fired for stealing from the gift shop.

This past year I've come as close to burnout as I have have in 30 years.  Maybe the stress of covid, and being consistently understaffed and having to be in charge, carry the floor phone, and have a 6:1 assignment has started to take it's toll.

Once when the supervisor came to the floor and asked "where are you putting these three admissions", my answer was a curt "I don't care what you do" and walked away.  Another time when the supervisor gave the day shift six admissions at shift change, when she rounded I snapped and  "that was a terrible thing to do us and no, we're not okay".  "I'm getting my 8th patient after discharging two and I'm not happy with that".  "You should not normalize 6:1 ratios".

My filter has been lifted and they are hearing what's on my mind.  I don't mind speaking my truth, but I don't like when I'm stressed and snippy.

I will say that I've worked some on stress and things are getting better staffing wise, and I've scheduled a vacation so I am feeling a bit better about things.  

 

[Wuzzie]

Yep, had a patient that desperately needed intubated but the ED physician’s daughter had a dance recital he didn’t want to be late to. I threw an epic tantrum which included jumping up and down and stamping my foot. I didn’t win and neither did the patient. He crashed about 30 seconds after “Dr. Quackstock” walked out of the room and I had to drag one of the other docs in to run the code. Not one of my most professional moments but a least my heart was in the right place. 

[Kitiger, RN]

21 minutes ago, Wuzzie said:

Yep, had a patient that desperately needed intubated but the ED physician’s daughter had a dance recital he didn’t want to be late to. I threw an epic tantrum which included jumping up and down and stamping my foot. I didn’t win and neither did the patient. He crashed about 30 seconds after “Dr. Quackstock” walked out of the room and I had to drag one of the other docs in to run the code. Not one of my most professional moments but a least my heart was in the right place. 

??

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

At my first nursing job, I regularly went through this  ritual where I would be called into a meeting and blamed for whatever had gone wrong on the unit, regardless of my actual responsibility for the problem. 

I'm not sure what the point was. 

The first few times I would apologize, promise to do better, etc. And then it just got ridiculous. I was blamed for stuff I had no hand in whatsoever.

I didn't get written up, I just got verbally and psychologically accosted.

One time, during a particularly ridiculous meeting, I had a kind of dissociative experience. The manager, house supervisor and I don't remember who else were yelling accusations at me and I just completely shut down. I didn't respond. I just stared at them, right into their eyes as they did it. They were like angry parents "What do you have to say for yourself?" Etc. And I was very calm. I was thinking... just get up, walk out, and never come back. And the next thought was, "No, wait for them to actually write you up. Until then just sit here and watch it like a movie." And the more they yelled, the more I felt disconnected to the moment. Eventually I started laughing and asked them if they thought they would be done soon because I had work to do. 

They were stunned. My manager excused me. I went back to work. 

That ended the abuse meetings. But the next time was a write up, and then I quit.

When I handed in my resignation letter, my manager actually asked why I was leaving.

I just looked at her and didn't answer.

She said "Is it the commute?" 

 I will be at the office next door, so it's not the commute. 

She looked genuinely confused. It still baffles me to this day that she did not understand why I left. 

 

 

[BeatsPerMinute, BSN, RN]

much needed subject to be discussed and am learning a lot from peoples stories. following 

[Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN]

(Do remember that research shows that somebody who has a bad experience will re-tell the story, on average, 25 times, and a person who has a good experience, on average, about 5.) 

And I say this as somebody who’s been around long enough to have QUITE  a good stock of things to complain about, LOL.