I just lost it!

IHateMyJob, ADN · Jun 24, 2021

Im only 2 years in and I have so much to complain about other than pay and schedule. Have been pleased with pay and schedule. Beside pay and schedule I could complain about every single aspect of this job. Every single one

guest1163268 · Jun 24, 2021

On 6/21/2021 at 10:48 PM, FolksBtrippin said:

At my first nursing job, I regularly went through this ritual where I would be called into a meeting and blamed for whatever had gone wrong on the unit, regardless of my actual responsibility for the problem.

I'm not sure what the point was.

The first few times I would apologize, promise to do better, etc. And then it just got ridiculous. I was blamed for stuff I had no hand in whatsoever.

I didn't get written up, I just got verbally and psychologically accosted.

One time, during a particularly ridiculous meeting, I had a kind of dissociative experience. The manager, house supervisor and I don't remember who else were yelling accusations at me and I just completely shut down. I didn't respond. I just stared at them, right into their eyes as they did it. They were like angry parents "What do you have to say for yourself?" Etc. And I was very calm. I was thinking... just get up, walk out, and never come back. And the next thought was, "No, wait for them to actually write you up. Until then just sit here and watch it like a movie." And the more they yelled, the more I felt disconnected to the moment. Eventually I started laughing and asked them if they thought they would be done soon because I had work to do.

They were stunned. My manager excused me. I went back to work.

That ended the abuse meetings. But the next time was a write up, and then I quit.

When I handed in my resignation letter, my manager actually asked why I was leaving.

I just looked at her and didn't answer.

She said "Is it the commute?"

I will be at the office next door, so it's not the commute.

She looked genuinely confused. It still baffles me to this day that she did not understand why I left.

I usually just hand irresponsible, unprofessional managers a business card of my father's law firm and let them know that I make contemporaneous notes after such meetings and email them to him. I also let them know that I believe in appropriate professional, fair behaviors and I will sue them personally if protocol isn't followed. I usually don't have much problems after that, but I also make sure that I don't make any mistakes if possible. I'm almost always all business at work anyway. Just there to work and absolutely nothing else!

9kidsmomRN · Jun 25, 2021

Don’t know if this qualifies as “lost it”. Any one remember giving Natrecor (nesiritide)-for CHF… with lasix? Anyway, after battling BP in the low 80’s high 70’s (ongoing since afternoon) I didn’t want to give the midnight lasix… called NP at 2200. Patient had put out 7L of urine in past 16 hours. She said give it. I disagreed so called MD on call- he said hold it. (I should have just held it in the first place.) When the 2 of them drove to a satellite clinic in the AM, the patient must have come up in conversation. NP found out that I held lasix and angrily called the unit to scream (literally) at me. My supervisor walked in, so I said “want to listen to this “ (holding phone away from my ear). I said “the super is here now,so I will put you on speaker so she can hear you better. So I put NP on speaker phone so supervisor (and everyone else in the station during AM report, and MDs rounding) could hear. Well, taught me to just hold unsafe meds…. Besides being much more experienced, I also am much less intimidated by aggressive people. Funny part was we had recently gotten new phones and despite her demands to take her off speaker I couldn’t remember how!

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Jun 26, 2021

I worked for my previous employer, a SNF for 25 years. I survived 4 ownership changes, too many management changes to count and Lord only knows how many ridiculous policy changes.

The only time I lost it over a policy change was when the company that took over ownership at that time changed the nurses from a vacation/sick leave model to a PTO model. The CNA's and other staff covered under a union contract had already been on PTO for awhile so I can see why the company wanted to keep all their employees under the same format for payroll consistency however...

I had maxed out my sick time at 320 hours and had reached the max annual paid vacation of 6 weeks after 20 years of service. They did not pay out any of the accrued sick time, it didn't roll over into PTO time under the new system so everybody with unused sick time just lost it. The new company only allowed PTO accrual to max out at 10 years of service which would have been 3 weeks vacation.

Here I was sitting there in this mandatory all staff nursing meeting looking at losing 320 hours of sick time plus 3 weeks of PTO every year. I did not take that quietly to say the least. The administrator at the time answered by saying he was losing even more sick time than I was which instead of making me feel better about the unfairness of the policy change made me even more angry. I don't think I actually cussed when I chewed him a new one pointing out that he was losing more sick time than me after he had only been there a year while I had been accruing mine without ever even using any other than an occasional day here and there for over 20 years. I don't think I cussed but honestly I was just so damn mad I very well might have. Didn't care then and still don't care now. I do remember I threatened to quit right then and there and the administrator asked if we could meet privately after the meeting to "discuss the situation" before I walked out.

It ended up that I did lose all my accrued sick time which at my then hourly rate was over $10,000 but they agreed to grandfather in my vacation pay accrual at the 6 weeks a year level so I wouldn't lose that.

I stuck it out 5 more years, at least 4 upper management changes and one more ownership change after that but I truly believe that was the moment I started seeing the writing on the wall that I might not stay my entire nursing career after all. I was a lot less accepting of the BS after that, flat out refusing to follow some of the more ridiculous policy changes. Told them several times that last 5 years nope, not doing that and if you don't like it fire me. They never did, LOL. When I finally had enough and left I did so on my own terms.

2BS Nurse, BSN · Jun 30, 2021

Sadly, a nice, calm, reasonable discussion does not get results. "Losing it" these days is the only way to get management's attention (due to short-staffing and frequent turnovers, they don't want staff quitting). Temper tantrums seem to work!!

Zeek, LPN · Jul 2, 2021

The last time I lost it with a Nurse Manager was when she insisted I was the one responsible for all the infections in our unit. She was yelling at me and had her finger in my face at which time I told her politely to remove the finger or it would be broken. This was after dealing with her tantrums for over 7 years and I swore that I would no longer Kowtow to her. I also told her I would no longer deal with her yelling at me and if she spoke to me as a professional I would be happy to have a conversation. I left her standing in the breakroom and went home - feeling good about myself for standing up to her. I never let her yell at me again and she left for another position shortly after.

she244 · Jul 2, 2021

I have lost it a few times as I have a limited filter when I have reached my boiling point or when it comes to patient care. I worked in the ER with a young physician who thoughts he was God. This was when we had paper charting and lined up clip boards according to acuity of your patient. I had a 50yr old female come in with a massive headache. She stated she had never had a Migraine and very few headaches. Her BP was elevated and Pulse, she was begging for help. I went and ask the Physician to please evaluate her, went to the charge Nurse to request help for the patient. The Physician kept on ignoring me sitting at a computer looking at a manual. The patient started vomiting, then all of a sudden became unconscious. I walked to the door of the exam room and yell loudly. Can I get a Doctor in her now! The patient is unconscious. He jumped up then, ran in the room as well as the other Physician working in another part of the ER who heard me yell. I had to run with her to CT. She had a Brain Bleed, was transported out and died the next day. I made the statement to all in the room. Let her son and husband ask me what happened I will tell them. I ended up having to meet with Administration and Executive staff who ask me to change my Nursing note as I had documented each time and names and position of each person I had requested help from. I refused.

I stayed about 2 more years then left especially after a Physician I did not know was called in to see a patient while covering for another Nurse at lunch. He was in jeans and a polo shirt. No name tag or coat. Her IV was beeping. I walk in he said hang some more fluids. I said politely I would need to check her orders and see if the ER Physician had put a order in for more fluids. The man said "You will do what I tell you to do". I said back to him. I don't know you and No. I follow the orders of the ER Physician only. He complained that I embarrassed him in front of the patient. And wanted me written up or fired. Linda the charge Nurse had heard my side of the story already and asked him. Did he identify himself to me, the attire he had on and no name tag or coat and reminded him that. Not everyone knew who he was. She put him in his place. Never had to deal with him again. He and I both avoided each other.

IHateMyJob, ADN · Jul 3, 2021

Wonder why people act like that. Too much of that bs in nursing

HarleyvQuinn, MSN, RN, NP · Jul 4, 2021

Uh. . .

Last year I was assaulted by a patient. I was grabbed by the neck. Left alone on the unit at the time because our staffing sucked. We were threatened that if we didn't take lunch breaks we'd be written up, but no one would help cover staff on break. Techs had to cover patient visitation in another area of the facility, so they weren't around. Supervisor covering as a front desk person. So, I had to try and figure out how to do rounds on my unit myself when a patient who had previously assaulted other staff decided to repeat the behavior. While I was able to disengage and call Supervisor, no one came to check on me or help at all. The physician came to the nursing station but refused to see the patient. Security was tied up in visitation. It happened a second time when checking on the other patients on the unit. Not in a room, not secluded. Right in front of the nursing station. The supervisor's response was "you didn't hit [patient], did you?" Obviously not. I'm not sadistic, stupid, nor vindictive.

Management never contacted me to check on me. I was never provided the opportunity to be examined or given a break to calm down. I left in a state of shock, really. What I did get, however, was a call the next day from the "quality control" person. Leaving a message with a snide tone stating they had "questions about the incident" and demanded a callback. Needless to say, I did not return the call. Unfortunately, I had CPI recert the next day and was still shaken enough that I didn't stop myself from stating I wanted nothing to do with her calls and if there were questions, I was more than happy to speak to actual management. She details of the "incident" were as written in the incident report. Never heard from the manager. I ended up talking to employee health, taking a leave of absence, and then resigning. I tried returning, but I was left on the units alone again because of the same staffing crap and I just couldn't do it. That was the third assault in a three-month time period and things were only getting worse. In the three years, I worked there, including the acute unit, I had never seen things that bad. My manager wouldn't even speak to me when I handed in my resignation, keys, and badge. I specifically told HR that it wasn't like I blamed her or was mad at her, but that I just couldn't do it anymore. I was sad that she wouldn't even speak to me.

IHateMyJob, ADN · Jul 4, 2021

Why was she mad at you? Because she didn't have enough staff?

HarleyvQuinn, MSN, RN, NP · Jul 4, 2021

4 hours ago, IHateMyJob said:

Why was she mad at you? Because she didn't have enough staff?

Likely. A lot of people had left/were leaving. I wasn't even FT at that time. Retention was always a bit of an issue there, but it had become severe by the time I left. ?‍♀️

B52, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN · Jan 15, 2023

I lost it back when I was a journalist. I was doing a story on 2 young guys who were best friends and perfect mactches for kidney donation. So, one guy was donating his kidney to the other guy. My editor wanted me to shadow them the night before the surgery. I told her no; this was a time for them to spend with their loved ones, not with a reporter. She kept pestering me, so I lost my temper and ended up suspended for a week with pay. I'm sure I rose to the top of the layoff list after that. A few months later I was laid off. The following year, I started nursing school.