I am a new grad RN, graduated in December, passed NCLEX in Feb 1st try 75 questions (so happy I did that I was a nervous wreck!) Started my job as an RN that week after the license came through I was already working as an intern. I thought oh night shift it won't be that bad, etc............ I WAS WRONG VERY VERY WRONG. I am married no kids though thankfully, my husband works day shift at his job. I barely see him on the nights I go in we meet up at a store or something and I see him for 10-15 min before I go in since by the time he would get home I would of already left for work, I cry every time I have to leave him and here lately I have been crying privately at work. I do better if I am with my husband all day prior to going in but that can't always happen if it is like today a Monday and he is at work and I am here waiting for 5pm crying so I can leave and go see him for 10 min before I go into work. I feel pathetic, my work environment has gotten worse we are almost always short sometimes leaving me with 6 or 7 patients which I can not adequately take care of ( I mean they are taken care of but I feel like I am constantly forgetting something or not providing the best care for), corporate is on our butts about freaking everything, I am currently applying for NP school since really the reason I came into the nursing profession was so I could obtain my FNP degree and work in a Dr office and have more one on one time with patients and of course have better hours sometimes. I have to give a shout out to all you floor nurses out there who do handle it and all you night shift nurses who handle it, you are better than me ! I have looked and looked for day shift jobs locally and to much search no such luck...... I didn't know if anyone here had any of the same problems I feel like I am the only one I just miss my husband so much when we are apart and I am sick of having tons of admits and not sure of what I am doing 100% (I think this is a new grad problem not being 100% confident) I need day shift I think and less patients. I have long time contemplated ICU step down I did an internship there and enjoyed it, but there aren't any day shift jobs or job period there right now. I keep telling myself it is temporary and I can do anything for a little bit, I just want in NP school so bad that is what I really want to do, I am going to continue working through school so I may have to do school part time or work part time depending.
Has anyone else had the problem of separation anxiety of leaving their husband/spouse ? Feeling overwhelmed? Also any tips for NP school would be much appreciated and/or schools that you recommend that are online/blended or strictly online I could do on campus as well but it would need to be in or near a state around me which would be east TN, NC, or VA I have a good GPA 3.66 (I think it is good anyways). I am at just such a loss this can not be normal to cry every night before work..... I am not sure if I can last beyond 6 months at this....... 6 months is what is pretty much required at my place of employment.
I seriously doubt this is about OP's husband. Lack of sleep, new nurse/new job stress, cycles all thrown off, feelings of can't quit or be a disappointment, all of that is enough to create anxiety and turn anyone but especially a stress naive young nurse into a puddle of tears.
Just buckle down and make the next few months of learning the job a priority.
Or quit and try to find a day job.
But first stop and think if your husband would consider throwing his new degree down the toilet to avoid a few months of night shift. What would you think of him if he did? Not the man you thought he was? Or would you just console him while you had to pick up being the primary earner?
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
If you want 8 hours shift you will most likely need to look into psych which can be fun and interesting or Long term care, Both often have 8 ours shifts - I currently work Mis shift at LTC 3 to 11 pm 4 to 5 shifts a week I go to bed late anyway so my sleep is not disturbed. Still on those days I work I don't see my husband of son except when they are asleep. Spending 6 to eight hours away from your family is just part of being a grown-up and working. The NP's I know typically work about 60 to 80 hours a week. I would love to be a SAHM but it's just not in the financial cards at this time.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
No matter what shift you work you won't be around your husband 100% of the time. It's called working. Even if you're a SAHM he'd work & you'd be at home.
If I were you I'd stay at your current job. There's no promise you'll get a day job or that day job will solve your anxiety & depression issues you're having.
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I think that most of the commenters on here were unsupportive of her personal situation and I was simply verifying that she was not alone in feeling the way she does. I have no care for what your concerns are, keep your opinions to yourself. You needn't be so aggressive on a public forum.
She came here looking for advice and it was given. That you and she both do not like the advice that was freely sought out doesn't make us any more negative or unsupportive than it makes us the downfall of nursing in general.
Your level of defensiveness is telling.
It has been said before and apparently needs be said again - if you don't want general opinions on a subject, don't seek them. Don't come looking for them and then tell people you don't like what is being offered and that they can keep their opinions to themselves. Good grief.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Wrangler and callie would never make it as military wives.
NO they wouldn't. I was active military and a military wife for years. It's true. You have to be independent and strong or your marriage won't make it.
The separations were hard, but reuniting after them, awesome. I am very content with my own company and while I love my husband dearly, I am fine when we are apart.
The OP does not seem healthy in her outlook and though processes. It's about so much more than night shift, really.
If she does not get the message by now, it won't happen. I won't dogpile more advice on this thread. I will just wish her the best of luck.
I really can't believe all of the negative comments on here. I feel the EXACT same way that you're describing and I think it's completely normal. I work in a very high level ICU at the moment and my anxiety at the thought of going into work and not knowing 100% of the time what I'm doing coupled with the fact I'm on an opposite schedule of my husband drives me to tears, sometimes I even throw up. All of the other nurses that I know that have healthy relationships with their spouses are understanding and sympathetic to the way I feel. I think working night shift, although is calmer on the unit, is so difficult for your personal life. Night shift has the potential to destroy relationships, I don't think it's "unhealthy" to cry at the thought of missing dinner with your husband every night and not being able to go to sleep with your spouse. I think the other nurses who had negative comments on here are the reason the profession is so disrespected these days. I'm with you 100% in what you're describing and reading your comment made me feel supported and understood and I hope I did the same for you.
Okay. The OP should quit her RN job, potentially end her career, and spend as much time as humanly possible with her spouse because that is clearly the healthiest option. Telling her that her excessive attachments and separation anxieties are issues that ought to be addressed is just rude, and we should post nothing but empty, supportive platitudes because that will be the most helpful thing for a woman in this situation.
it makes him sad that I am so sad to leave him, but it also makes him somewhat good knowing I miss him so much. We have never been apart up until this and it is causing harm to my health and his neither one of us sleep when I am working. I understand you are trying to help but I do not appreciate you telling me I am abnormal for missing my husband who is also my best friend since growing up I only had 2 friends really and 1 friend and I are no longer friends and the other is out of state my husband is literally my only friend and truly the love of my life.
I really think maybe some counseling together would help. Having other friends, even to just have someone else to talk to is healthy. You may be in a shell and counseling may have some suggestions to make these struggles a little less daunting. I'm sure it can feel isolating to you, as well, and it doesn't have to be that way. PM me if you want to chat.
I'll admit to being one of THOSE feminists that are so deplored these days. (Nevermind that our hard work decades ago contributed to the freedoms that women have achieved and now enjoy). "Because I am the wife" doesn't mean that you do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry on the three days a week that you work 12 hour shifts. Your husband can cook dinner or bring it home from KFC. He can throw in a load of laundry and wash a sinkful of dishes. This "because I am the wife" attitude is one of the attitudes we fought so hard to eradicate forty years ago. It hurts my heart to see women slipping back into the dark ages.
I agree. I'm hoping that she feels that way, not that this is the expectation in her household. Chores should be divided and conquered equally, among all who make a mess in the home (minus babies and animals, though I wish they could help). Some people have these gender roles stuck in their brain if they were raised that way. My parents are very "traditional" in that concept, yet having a two person working household requires two people to help with all of the house everything. It's more about a teamwork approach than anything else.
Jamariam
19 Posts
Buy a dog, you'll be ok